A Different Path
by mabelreid
Summary: What if JJ left Will during season three, and Henry was never born. This is my vision of what Reid and JJ's relationship might be like if they'd evolved without the addition of Will and the boys.
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**A/n this story takes place a few days after "Elephants Memory," in season three. I began this story about three years ago, and wrote a couple of chapters. My inspiration dried up, but was reinvigorated with the season finale. I have always been a JJ and Reid shipper, but pushed it aside after she married Will and changed into the mean girl and ninja Barbie. Personally, I've always wished that the show would've killed off Will in the seventh season finale, but since that didn't happen, I've lived with it, begrudgingly. I will get rid of Will very quickly in this story - not killed, but you'll see what I mean. **_

Dr. Spencer Reid leaned back in his office chair and looked up at the shadow-filled ceiling. The golden light of his desk lamp glowed softly, partially revealing the line of leather-bound books across the front of his desk. The light also revealed the contours of his face, framed by long, wavy, golden brown hair. Some people, upon seeing him for the first time couldn't verbalize why they found him attractive. The dark circles under his eyes spoke of too much worry and too little sleep, but the eyes themselves hypnotized with their direct intensity. In some light, they appeared hazel, in others, like the indirect light of his desk lamp, they looked like smooth, melted milk chocolate. Now, those eyes stared at something indefinable beyond the bullpen of the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit.

Spencer blinked, like a man coming out of a trance, and sat up straight in his chair, his long, lean body stretching like a cat after a protracted and satisfying nap. He sighed, yawned, and blinked against the light pooling smoothly on his desk. One of his long-fingered, delicately shaped hands, made for the piano, or to touch a woman's skin, reached into his right-side pant pocket and felt a small, round shape. The medallion's unfamiliar contours confused his fingers but also conveyed a strength to him that he'd longed for when he'd first stepped into the Beltway Clean Cops meeting. He looked around carefully, even though everyone had left the office hours ago, and pulled it from his pocket. It flashed in the light of his lamp as he studied the markings.

_Why? _

This thought careened around in his head, as it had for the past four days. _Why?_

Spencer thought he understood now that he'd gone to another meeting, and this time, he'd completed what he'd started. He'd once again talked with John, who revealed more of his struggle with sobriety, and for the first time since Jack pulled the trigger in that high school bathroom, he felt like he could live with the name, "Dr. Spencer Reid – recovering addict."

"Still don't know why it works," he said softly to the empty room. "What magic do you hold?"

He began to manipulate the medallion through his fingers, making it dance. Real magic didn't exist. One couldn't make another person disappear and then bring them back, or saw through their body without harming them, or escape from a straitjacket while hanging upside down in a tank of water, or even make a rabbit appear in a hat, without trickery. The real magic lay in what you believe. Did he believe in this coin? _Yes._ After only four days, an emphatic yes.

Spencer pushed the coin back into his pocket and stood. He switched off the light over his desk and plunged the room into darkness, broken only by the overhead fluorescents near the elevator. He hurried through the double glass doors with the FBI Insignia carved into the surface and approached the elevators. He reached for the down button when someone rounded the corner of the hallway that led to the elevators. It was JJ. His hand twitched and fell to his side without touching the call button. His heart leaped at the sight of her in a white blouse, and black skirt with her phone tucked in her ear and her bag in her hand. She strode toward him on feet that moved with angry purpose.

"I don't have time this weekend! No! This last case – Stop it, Will. You knew when we started, this thing, whatever it is, that my work is important to me. No. No! No! Fine, if that's how you feel, then _goodbye_, William!"

She slapped her phone shut and shoved it away in a pocket. She seemed to notice Reid because she stopped, and her lovely blue eyes, full of anger and tears confronted him. "What are you doing, Spence?" She demanded.

"Um, just waiting for the elevator. I thought you left," he added lamely and twitched his messenger bag to his shoulder as he wished the elevator would hurry and whisk him away to someplace he didn't have to see her eyes and be simultaneously aroused and frightened.

"It helps to push the button," she snapped, and he could see it was better not to speak.

She jabbed at the button and waited with her foot tapping impatiently on the tile floor. She wiped at her eyes and studiously ignored Reid until the elevator doors finally opened. He stepped in and did not attempt to push a button as JJ seemed to have that under control as well. He stared straight ahead and fought to ignore the impulse to put his arm around her and say something trite and unfeeling, like, "It'll be okay JJ."

He fidgeted with the strap on his messenger bag and began to wish that he'd taken the stairs when JJ said. "I'm sorry, Spence."

He dared to look at her, and she stared at him like she wanted to talk but couldn't think of what to say. Well, he could relate to that, because it happened a lot when she was in his sphere of existence. Except for one time – no, he wouldn't think of that night. He decided to put the ball back in her court, as he'd heard the guys say when talking of sports. "Why?" He said, cleverly.

"I didn't mean to snap at you – it's just that, never mind. I'm sorry."

The elevator opened on the first floor and he followed her like a puppy out to the parking lot. The early spring weather was cold, but he didn't feel it despite his short sleeves. A breeze played with his hair as they walked through the dark. He was about to split off from her and hurry away to the train station when a hand on his arm stopped him.

He looked back at JJ who had fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. "Um, look I'm sorry, but I need to talk. Would you like to go get a drink with me?"

_Yes!_

"Ah, I don't think that's a good idea, JJ. I sort of overheard you on the phone and you're upset so –"

"That's why I want to talk to you. You're my friend, right?"

"Yeah, sure."

_I wish we were more._

Reid managed not to give voice to his hopes. Instead, he said. "All right, I'll have _one_ drink with you."

"Thanks, Spence."

"You're welcome."

Reid followed her to her car, a black sedan with a comfortable leather interior. It was as different as night and day from his old Volvo. Still, he liked his car. This vehicle seemed too new and complicated with its electronic everything. "Nice car," he commented.

"Yeah, I bought it a year ago. It's three years old."

JJ started the engine and drove them to their favorite after-work hangout, or it was the team's favorite. He tolerated it because they liked it and he valued his friends. Luckily, it was a Wednesday night, and they found a booth in the back.

JJ ordered a drink as soon as they sat. "Keep em coming," she told the waiter.

Reid fluttered his fingers nervously when asked what he wanted. "Ah, club soda."

"Yes, sir."

JJ sat back and waited as rock music played in the background. Spencer looked around at the other patrons who sat in dim light and talked, laughed, or drank alone. JJ didn't speak, which made the blood pump fast in his veins.

Finally, he couldn't stand it. "So, um, what did you want to talk about?"

JJ shook her head, and her long, golden hair swished over her shoulders. Insanely, Reid wanted to touch it, to feel its texture on his fingers.

"It's nothing. Let's just enjoy the night."

He gulped and tried to smile. The last time they'd decided to "enjoy," time together had been a disaster. He shuddered and hoped she didn't see it. Their previous case had brought home reminders he wished he could forget.

"Okay," he squeaked

The waiter brought their drinks, and the interruption gave him a chance to regain his composure.

_What composure. You lose it every time JJ is near you. Get over it!_

He wished he could get over her. He wished their first date hadn't been to a football game.

"Spence?"

He blinked and realized JJ was trying to get his attention. "Sorry."

She shrugged and gulped down her drink. "It's fine; guys don't seem to listen to me anymore."

"JJ, I _am_ sorry. I was just thinking – "

"Spence," she interrupted. "_I'm_ sorry. I didn't mean to pull you into my problems."

"It's okay," he said as he stared at the bubbles in his club soda.

"No, it's not," she argued. "I think I'm losing it and taking it out on you."

The waiter brought her another drink and ignored Reid as if he weren't there.

"It's fine, JJ."

"No! I'm acting like a bitch, and it's all because of – " JJ broke off and picked up her drink. "You ever make a mistake, Spence. A huge mistake that you can't take back."

Oh, if you only knew, he thought, then felt his face flame because if she knew, she'd consider him weak and she'd despise him for it.

"Everybody makes mistakes, JJ." He managed to get out without squeaking.

"Yeah," she stated angrily. "Spence?"

"Yes."

"Can I tell you a secret?"

He swallowed a mouthful of club soda. "Sure."

"I'm dating someone."

"Ah, well that's great."

His breath hitched, and his chest felt like something squeezed it like a vice, even though he'd already figured out that she had someone, before he'd overheard her last phone call.

JJ smiled at him, but it dripped with sarcasm. "It was great, for a while, but not now."

She took another swallow from her drink and sighed.

"JJ, I don't know very much about relationships."

"It doesn't matter. I've decided to break up."

Her words galvanized him. His heart began to race as hope bloomed in his blood. "I'm sorry," he successfully lied, while maintaining eye contact.

"Don't be," she snapped, then tears filled her eyes. "I'm sorry, Spence."

"It's okay."

"No! It's not. Why do you do that?"

"What?" He responded, confused.

"You never get angry, even when you have the right."

"I get angry just like everyone," he countered and sipped at his drink.

Emily popped into his head and how he'd jumped down her throat when he'd still been shooting up Dilaudid.

"I've never seen it."

"Ask Morgan. He heard me tell off an LEO during our last case. I hated what happened to Owen, and I took it out on him."

"No one should be tortured like that," JJ agreed.

Reid swallowed hard and looked at his half-empty glass. "No," he said. "They shouldn't."

JJ's eyes fixed on his, and he wondered if he'd ever been able to extricate himself from their influence. Did he want to?

"Spence… I shouldn't have dragged you here. I'm feeling sorry for myself."

"It truly is okay, JJ. We're friends, and friends stand by each other."

"Yeah," she sighed. "They do. You're sweet, Spence."

He studied the floor, unable to meet her eyes and his face flamed again.

_Say something!_

"Thanks," he squeaked. "So are you."

_Oh God, he wanted to get up and run out the door!_

"Thanks, but I'm not feeling very sweet right now."

She downed the rest of the drink and signaled the waiter for another.

"JJ, are you sure you want another drink?"

She giggled. "Yeah, I can handle it."

An hour later, Reid drove her home, in her car. He barely noticed how smoothly the vehicle drove because she leaned over and had her head on his shoulder.

"JJ," he gently pushed her upright. "We're home."

"Good." She jumped at him and tried to kiss him.

"JJ, don't," he squeaked when her hand fell on his inner thigh.

"Don't push me away, Spence. I like you."

"I like you too, but you've had a lot to drink. You're not thinking clearly."

"It's okay," she slurred. "You're cute, and I'm horny."

"JJ, please…"

She tried to kiss him, but her lips met his hair instead of his mouth. "No, JJ, I won't take advantage of you."

He slipped away from her and out the door. He tried desperately to regain his emotional control as he rounded the car to the passenger side.

JJ attempted to get out of the car before he could open the door. She nearly fell, but in a rare show of skill and reflexes, Reid caught her in his arms.

"My hero," she sighed and tightened her grip on him. "Kiss me."

"No!"

God, he wanted to give in. His body wanted to overrule his head for once.

He hauled her up into his arms and carried her to the front door. By the time he got to the door open and walked inside he was sweating and trembling, from exertion. He found her bedroom and lay her on the bed.

"Don't go," JJ breathed when he straightened.

"I can't stay, JJ."

"Yes, you can." She giggled. "Don't you like girls."

"Yeah," he swallowed. "I like girls very much."

"Then what's the problem? Don't you like me."

"JJ, I _do_ like you. That's why I have to leave."

She crooked her finger at him in a come on. "Make love to me, Spence. I need you."

She pushed up to a sitting position and reached for his trembling hands. "I know you want to," she teased with a smirk. "It's okay. I want you too."

Spencer leaned down and kissed her. Her mouth tasted like wine, and he realized for the first time since getting her home, that she reeked of alcohol. He jerked back, appalled, and pushed her away.

"Spence." She whined loudly. "What's the matter?"

"I need to go."

"Then go," she cried petulantly. "You're a _lousy_ kisser."

He fought back the urge to respond, then flinched when she tumbled over on the bed, passed out cold.

He stood, looking at her for what seemed an eternity before his brain engaged and he realized he should leave.

Instead, he pulled off her shoes and tucked a colorful throw blanket around her. He took a chance and leaned over to kiss her forehead. "I love you, JJ." He whispered.

He looked around the room, then at JJ, then left the room. He hurried to the door, opened it, and shut it behind him. He wished he could lock the door, but her keys were inside. He'd have to trust she'd be okay because he couldn't stay. She'd hate him if he were still there when she woke, that much he knew for a fact.

_Good thinking for once. Call a cab and get out of here!_

He listened to his inner voice because for once it made sense and he wanted to go home and forget this night.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n hello all, it's time for chapter 2. I want to thank again everyone that has been kind enough to comment, like, or favorite this story. Please enjoy the next chapter._**

Reid peered up from under his eyelids at the seat across the aisle and to his left. JJ sat there, reading a file. He noticed that she bit her lower lip, something she rarely did, except when extremely disturbed. As he watched her, she looked up. He cut his eyes away to his window while his heart galloped in his chest like a stampeding horse.

_Good plan, get caught staring at her!_

He shut his eyes and tried to sleep, but his thoughts wouldn't stop chasing each other around in his brain. Especially the sight of JJ in an intense conversation with Det. LaMontagne. Even he could see how it must have bothered her to see the detective during a case.

In the week that had passed since he'd left her passed out on her bed, they'd had conversations. She treated him politely, but never spoke to him outside of what they needed for work. He used every profiling skill he'd ever learned, but couldn't figure out why she wouldn't talk to him. Maybe he should ask Morgan for advice. No, talking to Derek was too humiliating.

Reid suppressed a sigh and thought about talking to Garcia. Again, not a good idea because he'd have to admit to his friend that he'd almost given in to a drunken JJ. He rejected talking to Emily, Rossi, and Hotch for reasons he thought best and sighed.

"What's on your mind, pretty boy?"

Reid opened his eyes to see Morgan take a seat across from him. _Wonderful!_

"Just tired," Reid calmly responded and fervently hoped that Morgan would leave it at that.

"You sure, you look a little off."

"I'm fine, just thinking about our case. I'm having trouble disassociating this time."

"You _always_ have trouble with that," Morgan pointed out with a grin.

Reid rolled his eyes. "Not funny."

"You want to play poker?"

Reid didn't but decided that saying no would only make his friend suspicious. He concluded that concentrating on counting cards might keep his mind off JJ. "I'm happy to play if you don't mind losing."

"You hear that," Morgan announced. "I think someone needs to take Dr. Reid _down_."

"I'll play," Emily responded.

"Not me," Rossi and Hotch declined at the same time.

"What about you, blondie? Want to try your hand at beating Dr. Reid?"

Reid forced himself not to look at JJ as his heart began to accelerate to a hard thump. He prayed his friends couldn't hear it. Happily, his face stayed cool.

JJ appeared to think about it for a minute. "Sure, anything's better than work."

Reid managed to keep control of the cards he shuffled, but only because he didn't look at JJ. Morgan cut the deck and Reid dealt out the first hand.

"Ante up." As usual, they bet with their favorite snack foods.

Reid looked at his cards and realized that he had a winning hand. He let out a breath and began to feel more normal.

"Spence…"

He forced his eyes to meet her stare. "What?"

"I said, I need two cards."

"Right, sorry."

Morgan shook his head. "Stop daydreaming, kid."

Reid chose to ignore Morgan. Instead, he dealt out two cards to JJ and waited as the others made bets.

JJ kept her eyes on the cards and for the first time, he felt he could play against her without surrendering to the pull of her gaze.

Morgan brought him back to the present again with the word. "Fold."

"Too rich for your blood," Emily teased.

"No, I'm waiting for a _better_ opportunity."

Emily eyed Reid speculatively. "I think you're right, Morgan. There's something about Reid that makes me think bluffing is out of the question tonight."

"It's _always_ out of the question." Morgan put in, but he also studied Reid with curious eyes.

"Why are you staring at me?" Reid asked calmly.

"Yeah, you guys lose your _nerve_?" JJ piped up. "While we're young, Emily?"

"Okay, fine. I'll see you ten and raise you five." She added unshelled peanuts to the pot.

"Call," JJ said, and she looked Reid straight in the eyes. "Full house queens and fives."

"Four of a kind," Emily smirked and showed four jacks.

Reid laid down his straight in clubs and smiled. "That's it," Emily huffed. "I _refuse_ to play with Reid ever, again."

He grinned at JJ because he'd managed to keep his hands steady as he'd taken the pot of peanuts, pretzels, and Cheetos.

"I'm going to sleep," Morgan said.

"I want the chance to win back my Cheetos," JJ demanded.

Reid won the next two games. He decided to ignore JJ glaring at him as if he'd committed an offense because the pilot announced their descent and there was no time for a third game.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

An hour after they landed, Reid closed his file and looked at the clock. It was closing in on midnight. He groaned and lay his head on his desk.

"Spence."

Adrenaline flashed into his blood, and he jumped to his feet in alarm.

"Hey," JJ soothed. "Calm down."

He realized she stood to his right with her go bag on her arm.

"What're you still doing here," he demanded, as his heart rate began to return to normal.

"Working," she snapped back. "What's _your_ excuse?"

Reid jerked back in surprise, then nodded stiffly. "Sorry, I asked. See you later."

He grabbed his bag and nearly reached the elevator when JJ called to him. "Spence. Hey, Spence. Wait. Please."

He spun around and opened his mouth to say something he'd regret. JJ stood with her shoulders slumped and tears in her blue eyes. Her misery pierced him like an arrow. He took a step forward and began to raise his arms, then stopped and shoved his hands into his pockets.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"So am I."

"Look, can we talk? Please."

"About what?"

"Don't," she begged. "Let me explain."

He wanted to walk away to turn his back on her friendship because it hurt too much. "As you wish," he agreed.

_What's wrong with you!_

Reid ignored the voice of good sense in his head instead of walking away.

"I promise we'll go someplace with people and I will _not_ get drunk."

"No," he shook his head. "This time_ I_ get to pick the location."

"All right," she agreed and reached for the elevator call button.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Their neutral territory turned out to be a coffee shop. JJ looked around the small, quiet room that held only three other people. "How did you find this place?"

Reid shrugged. "A friend."

JJ took in the wood beams of the ceiling, the dark colors on the booths and the traditional semi-circular bar in the middle of the room. The smell of coffee mixed with caramel, chocolate, and other flavors teased at her nose. She decided to order, even if it meant no sleep that night.

"It's nice," JJ commented. "You going to order."

Reid smiled and some of the pressure surrounding the conversation, lifted. "What do you think?"

JJ rolled her eyes. "Sorry. I forgot who I was talking to."

Reid shrugged. "Doesn't matter."

JJ studied the window looking out on the street as the night pressed in on the glass and showed only her reflection in the smooth, cold surface.

"Spence," she began.

"JJ," Reid interrupted. "Before you speak, you should know that we saw your conversation with Will."

JJ nodded. "I figured. I should've stayed in DC this time. Will doesn't know how to accept that it's over for us."

"It looked to me like he accepted your decision."

"I hope you're right because I don't want to go through that again. I'm tired of men who think they have the right to tell me how to live my life. Do you know he wanted me to move to New Orleans? He said, "You're not a profiler, Jennifer. You can be a press liaison anywhere."

"I'm assuming you disabused him of that idea."

JJ smiled as their coffees appeared. "Yeah. I told him my joining the FBI wasn't a whim, and that I'd never expected him to give up his badge. What's the difference between his job and mine, Spence? Why does he think that because he's a police officer he can tell me what to do?"

Reid listened without speaking because he didn't know what to say to her. "What did you say?"

"I told him I couldn't continue with a long-distance relationship. He loves New Orleans and wants to stay there. I love the BAU and Virginia. I want to stay here."

"I'd say that's reasonable," Reid expostulated.

"I don't know. Maybe I'm using the bureau as an excuse because I don't want to get serious with _anyone._ I love my job. I don't want to get married and have kids right now."

Reid nodded automatically. His heart dropped into his shoes. She'd never noticed that he loved her so much it hurt. She'd never be the one to see that he wanted to take care of her. He breathed out a sigh and thought about more lonely nights.

"You get it, right?" JJ asked him. "You love your job. Remember that night in Lincoln, Nebraska. We couldn't leave because of the snow, and we sat in the hotel coffee shop. Talking. It reminds me of now."

"Yeah, I remember."

He'd never forget it. It was the only time he'd had a conversation with JJ that didn't include work. They'd just talked and talked for hours. One topic they'd touched on was his mother's illness and how he didn't want to have kids and pass it on to them. He remembered that JJ was surprisingly sympathetic to him.

"Do you think I'm selfish?"

"No, of course not."

"Will said I am. He said I expected him to pack up and leave his home."

"JJ, I don't think – "

"He's right," JJ interrupted as if she didn't hear him. "I am selfish."

"No, you're not," Reid argued. "You're the kindest and most unselfish person in the world."

JJ smiled at him, and her eyes crinkled a little at the edges. "You're sweet, Spence. Still, I know you're probably thinking about the odds of a long-distance relationship surviving."

"The odds aren't in your favor," he admitted.

"I figured," she said and sighed. "Look, the essential point is that it's over and, in a way, I'm glad."

"You are?"

"Yeah, I mean I'm sad because I like Will. He's funny, and I like the accent. He's good-looking, and he's in law enforcement, which I find attractive as well. Still, I don't think I ever really loved him, and even if one of us decided to move to be with the other, I don't think the relationship would've worked."

Hope rose again in Reid, but he kept his face calm and held onto his cup of coffee with both hands to still their trembling.

"You've always known what's best for you, JJ."

She smiled, then chuckled. "Yeah, I guess I have."

He swallowed hard and took another sip of his coffee. Something he couldn't identify suddenly made him nervous. He wanted to leave. "Um, it's getting late, and – "

"Don't go yet," JJ reached over and touched his hand. "I haven't apologized for the other night. I don't remember everything, but I remember that I tried – well, um, I vaguelly remember, trying to seduce you."

"It's ok, JJ."

"No, it's not. I want to thank you for saying no, Spence. I treasure you as a good friend. I don't want that to change."

He prayed she couldn't see the hurt that welled up in his chest. He forced a smiled unto his face. "Neither do I," he lied.

"Good, then I hope you'll stay here for a while and talk. I've missed you."

"Of course," he nodded. Against his better judgment, he stayed there. "I've missed talking to you too."


	3. Chapter 3

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n thank you all for your support and your comments. This chapter takes place after "The Crossing." We're coming up on a jump forward in time as my next chapter will take place during "Hi-Fi." _**

Spencer stretched out on the jet's comfortable bench and tried to go to sleep. It proved to be an impossible task. He flipped over to his right side, and his eyes found JJ, who sat slumped in her seat. She met his eyes and smiled, but he saw exhaustion and unhappiness in their blue depths. He smiled back and said quietly. "Keri's going to be okay."

"I know," she said. "I'm just tired and –" JJ cut her eyes to Morgan who lay sleeping in the seat next to her with his earbuds in and then to Emily who seemed to be sleeping as well. Rossi and Hotch were in the back of the plane, and both were absorbed in files.

"It's okay," Spencer said and sat up. "I understand."

"I didn't mean to disturb your attempts to sleep," JJ responded.

"Don't worry, and I was not succeeding."

"Emily said something about going for drinks, but I'm not up for it."

"You want to go somewhere quiet and talk," Reid suggested and inwardly cheered at his bold move.

JJ studied him for a moment, then nodded her head. "Yeah, I'd like it. Why don't you pick again? Someplace without alcohol."

Reid felt a huge smile cross his face and suddenly, he felt as though he might be able to get some sleep. "Sure."

JJ smirked at him. "Go to sleep, Spence."

He didn't stop to wonder how she knew that he could sleep. She'd always had the ability to read him without a problem, and lately, that fact didn't bother him. He lay down and fell asleep for the duration of the flight.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ woke when the pilot announced they were beginning their descent and would be home in thirty minutes. She stretched and nearly knocked Morgan on the head. "Hey," he complained. "Watch your elbow, Blondie."

"Stop calling me that and I will," JJ shot back with a grin.

"Nope, don't think I will."

"Then prepare for more elbow shots."

"Oh, I'm scared."

JJ shook her head, and some of her pain over breaking up with Will faded. Instead, she found her eyes drifting over to where Spence lay on the bench seat. He lay facing her, and for the first time, she noticed that he reminded her of a photo showing a sculpture she'd once seen in an art appreciation class she'd taken as a filler course in college and had truly enjoyed. The artist was Bernini and featured Sant Angelo. It wasn't that Spencer looked like the figure, but it was the attitude of quiet and repose on his face.

_And that he's gorgeous!_

JJ ripped her eyes away and decided to keep them firmly on the window that looked out into black darkness.

"Hey," Morgan tapped her on the shoulder. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she managed to say in a steady voice.

Morgan raised his eyebrows. "You sure."

"Yeah, just tired, okay."

Morgan held up his hands. "Sorry, just asking."

"I know, and I appreciate the concern. I'm going to head home instead of carousing with you guys."

"If you say so."

"I do," she assured him as Emily opened her eyes.

Five minutes later the plane touched down. Soon they were back at Quantico, and JJ begged off from drinks.

"Okay, how about you, Reid," Morgan asked.

"No, I'm still beat," Reid said without hesitation which impressed JJ who watched for a tell-tale blush, but it didn't rise in his face.

She forced herself to walk away and go to her office for about ten minutes of paperwork. She was still sitting and staring at her files when a tap came at her door. "Hey, you still want to go talk," Reid asked.

JJ sighed and pushed back in her chair. For a moment she couldn't speak or move because Reid standing there with his long wavy hair and his beautiful eyes in a face that still reminded her of an angel, sent a flash of heat into her gut. She swallowed hard, gathered her bags, and managed a smile. "Yes. Let's go."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid picked the same coffee shop they'd visited when she'd apologized to him. "Hope you don't mind," Reid said.

"No, I like it." She smirked at him.

"What?"

"I was just thinking this is becoming a regular hangout for us."

She noticed color wash into his cheeks, and something began to tickle at the back of her mind. "Is that good?" he asked and pulled her away from a revelation that tried to free itself from her subconscious.

"Ah, yeah, it's great." She replied and suddenly wondered why she felt nervous. "Coffee, no alcohol," she reminded him with some desperation in her tone.

"Probably for the best," Reid pointed out with a grin.

JJ shook her head and chuckled. She forced herself to meet his eyes and to remind herself that she'd just broken up with Will. Reid was a good friend, and that was what she needed for now.

Reid watched as her beautiful blond hair slid across her shoulders, and the image of that same hair spread out on one of his pillows flashed into his mind. He swallowed, coughed nervously into his hand and made his eyes look at the counter where a barista made more delicious and fragrant coffee drinks.

"Spence?"

Reid yanked his attention back to JJ who studied him with eyes that could drown a man and oh god, he wanted to drown in their depths and never resurface to the world.

"Hm," he managed not to squeak.

"I said, are you all right?"

"Um, yeah. I'm fine. Sorry, I like the quiet of this place."

"Me too."

They'd found the same corner table and sat facing each other, she with her back to the counter and Reid with his back to the street outside where cars occasionally buzzed by and people hurried with their personal lives.

"So, um, you wanted to talk," Reid said. "Is everything okay?"

JJ sighed. "No, I'm still feeling sad and irritated with Will. This last case – Keri did nothing but have a computer problem, and she nearly loses everything. What is the matter with men that they think they can take over our lives?"

Reid decided not to mention that ten percent of stalkers were women. JJ would likely respond by rightly pointing out that ninety percent of stalkers were men and men were more violent. Reid wasn't sure that was true because many women in history were ruthless.

"Are you rethinking your decision?"

"What? No! Why would I?"

Reid held up a held. "I only meant that you seemed happy with Will. I like seeing you happy."

"I was happy for a while, but – I don't know, something was nagging at the back of my head that I was making a mistake. I think that's why I was so angry, not at Will but myself for ignoring my gut for so long. I still don't know why I felt off, but I want the chance to figure it out for myself."

"Well, you told me once that I should follow my gut more instead of relying on statistics and facts. I'm still not sure about that, but if it works for you –"

"It does, because I do miss Will, but I know I made the right decision. If he wanted to dictate my career, what else did he want to control?"

"I think you did the right thing."

JJ was silent for a long time, and she wouldn't meet his eyes. His heart began to sink into his throat that he'd made a mistake with his last comment. After all, he didn't know the parameters of their relationship and considering he'd only begun to seek help for his addiction, well, it was better to keep his opinions and feelings to himself.

"You're right," JJ said, and she smiled for him.

Reid loved her smile. It shined like a beacon of light in his life, and he couldn't imagine his life without seeing that smile regularly. "I'm glad you think so because I thought I said too much."

"No! I want to hear what you think. Spence, you're the one person in my life that always tells me the truth. I can count on you."

Reid blew out a breath. He'd lied to her for months about his addiction. Should he bring it up now or wait. Her eyes once again held him captive in their light, and he nearly spoke of it but made the decision not to press the issue. JJ still had exhaustion clouding her face, and she didn't need his shortcomings on top of everything.

"I'm glad," he said and smiled when she reached over and squeezed his hand.

He'd feel the warmth of her skin on his fingers for the rest of the evening, he thought, as they sat in a more comfortable silence and sipped their coffee.

"Well, I better go," JJ finally said after fifteen minutes. "I so tired that not even the caffeine fix in this will keep me awake."

Reid looked at his watch and saw that it was after ten pm, and the café would close in another hour. "You're right. I'm tired, too."

"Thanks for letting me talk, Spence. I _do_ feel better."

"I'm glad, and you're welcome."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid stood at the end of his latest meeting and was about to leave when a voice hailed him. He turned to see the man that had given him the medallion in his pocket. "Um, hello sir, I mean, John," he corrected when John gave him a look. "That's hard to get used to."

"I know, but you'll make the transition. How are you?"

"I'm fine."

John studied the younger man for a moment. "You sure? I know your case in Texas was particularly bad."

Reid felt his face begin to heat. "Um, yeah. I'm sure you read the report from Hotch about my actions, and I wanted to say that –"

"Remember what I said when we first met. I'm John, not your boss. What I think about what you did in West Bune has no place here, even if I think it was reckless."

"I couldn't watch him get shot down in the street after everything he'd been through."

"I understand, but do you understand that you're not him?"

"Yes, and I know that had my life been different, I might have chosen his path, but I was lucky. I found good people."

"Yes, you did, and they do accept you regardless of what you tell yourself, Spencer."

Reid didn't bother to ask how John knew his inner doubts. "I'm trying every day, but it's – difficult."

"Yes, it is, but the fact that you're here speaks volumes to me. You're on the right path."

Reid ducked his head, debated for a long time and looked up to see John watching him with eyes that saw more than Hotch on his best day. "John, can I ask you something?"

"You know you can ask me anything."

Reid nodded, swallowed hard, fidgeted with his sleeve, and blew out a breath. "I'm in love with someone," he blurted out, then looked around to see if any of his fellow addicts heard what he couldn't bring himself to share with them.

"That's wonderful," John said. "Is it SSA Jareau?"

Reid stared at John in complete surprise. "How did you know?" He asked, too astonished to come up with a lie.

"Because I'm the boss and it's my job to know."

"But –"

"Spencer, I'm not going to tell Hotch or Strauss. What we talk about here stays between us, you know that."

"Yes, but –"

"I am happy for you but be cautious. I've heard that Agent Jareau's recently ended a relationship."

"You _do_ know everything."

John just smiled, and Reid felt his nerves flutter a bit. "As I said, it's my job, and I'm especially interested because I know you've had feelings for her for quite a while."

"Since the first day, we met," Reid blurted out and felt his face flame.

_Stop saying everything that comes to mind!_

Reid wished he could control his tongue, but John could make him talk about his most inner secrets.

"She is a beautiful and accomplished woman, but also a woman who deserves to be happy."

"You don't think I can make her happy," Reid squeaked and blushed again when one of the last of the stragglers turned to look at him as she left the room with two other cops.

"Don't put words in my mouth, Spencer. I'm only saying that you're early in your recovery. I don't want you to take on more emotional baggage than you can handle."

Reid nodded as the anger in his chest melted away. "All right, John. I promise I _will_ be careful, and I'll contact you if I need it."

"That's all I ask."

"I guess we should go," Reid said and looked around the empty room.

"You need a ride?"

"No, the train station is right down the block. I like riding the train. It gives me a chance to think after a meeting, and I have a couple of books to read."

John smiled, and it lit him up, in a way that took years off his face. "I wish I had your talents, Spencer Reid."

Reid shrugged. "Sometimes, I wish I were normal."

"What is normal?" John asked as they left the building. "Everyone is normal in their way. Embrace your abilities and let life show its beauty and its ugliness and you'll start to see that balance is everything."

"I hope you're right."

"I am," John slapped him on the back. "See you here and perhaps at the office."

"Yes sir," Reid quipped with a grin.

John shook his head. "You're going to challenge me, aren't you?"

Reid gave him a "Who me," face and John laughed. "Go home, SSA Dr. Reid."

Reid nodded and turned to hurry down the sidewalk to the train station. He felt better about JJ but also worse at the same time. He had no idea where to go from their conversation in the coffee shop and not knowing made him very nervous.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: see my profile

A/n thank you for your kind remarks, everyone. Here is the next chapter set at the of Hi-Fi.

JJ attempted to keep her mind off gunshots, exploding vehicles, and terrorist suicides, by packing her bags. In a couple of hours, they'd be on the jet back to Quantico, and back to normalcy.

_What does normal mean?_

For JJ, her normal of the past several weeks getting to know Spence in a new way. They hung out together at their favorite coffee shop, and sometimes they took walks together and talked of everything. They played poker on the jet. Still, there were things she didn't understand, like why she was upset if he didn't answer the phone in the evening, or times when he was distant and had the look of someone fighting a vast inner battle.

JJ shook her head and picked up her toiletries bag and zipped into her go bag. She looked around and realized that she was ready to leave, but she still had over an hour to wait. She stood in the middle of her hotel room and tried to decide what to do. New feelings careened around in her head, and she wanted to scream with frustration over nearly losing Hotch and Morgan. And what about Spence, she thought as she began to pace the room. She'd seen the unhappiness and the fear in his eyes after he'd witnessed the suicide of a fanatic. Now, one of their own was dead, and Hotch was nearly deafened.

_Talk to him!_

"Now's not the time," JJ said to an empty room. "We're expected to fly home in an hour."

Still, her feet took her to the door because when she'd seen the surveillance video of Hotch's SUV blowing up, and she'd realized it could've been any of them, but most importantly it could've been Spence, she couldn't stop the realization that he was the reason she'd broken things off with Will. She loved him the way she'd never loved another man, and it threatened to overwhelm her like the incoming ocean tide.

JJ grabbed her bags and keys and hurried from the room. It was time to confront the one thing she wanted more than breath or water or even life. She rushed to the elevator and prayed he'd say the words she longed to hear.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid entered his hotel room and shut the door hard. He tried to get his breathing and his shaking hands under control. He stared at his living area and wanted to remind himself that once again, the team had prevailed, but oh the cost. The loss of a fellow agent and Hotch nearly deafened, not to mention, Morgan almost blowing up in an ambulance full of explosives. Reid held up his hands and thought about holding his gun on a terrorist and watching him cut his own throat.

"_Kill him, Daddy! Please!"_

"_Jack, when does it end?" _

"_Tomorrow." _

The roar of the gunshot and the smell of gunpowder layered over the coppery stench of blood and the sight of brain matter splattered over the bathroom walls and floor, bloomed in his brain as he stared at his shaking fingers.

_Why?_

Hotch and Rossi would tell him that saving the terrorist from committing suicide and thus ensuring his status as a martyr was impossible. If only that were what bothered him the most. Rage, at the death of four Secret Service Agents, and innocent people gunned down to bring in the FBI and spring the trap for their target, poured acid into his stomach.

_Why did so many people have to die? When does it end? _

Reid blew out another long breath and realized that his hands had stopped shaking and his heart no longer acted as though it wanted to leap out of his chest. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the hotel door and was startled out of his thoughts when someone knocked on the door. He jolted, then turned and opened it to find JJ standing there with her bags.

"Can I talk to you?"

Reid stared at her, and she saw that his hands trembled. He took in her gaze and shoved both them into his pockets. His lovely eyes shifted again, and he sighed. "After you."

She preceded him into the room and stood just inside the entrance to the tiny living area that held a love seat and a table in one corner with two chairs and a lamp. A window, covered with blue curtain panels and a television on a wooden stand completed the room. A door lay to her left and right. She assumed they were a bedroom and bathroom. Another door just inside the entrance was a closet, she presumed. Everything in the room, matched and decorated in blue and gold tones, including the carpet and the upholstery. It was the same layout as her room, but a different color scheme.

"So, um, what did you want to ask?"

JJ gestured to the small sofa. Reid hesitated, then sat as she took one of the chairs at the table and turned it to face him. JJ sat and studied him with eyes that saw too much, then she said. "Spence, um, God, this is _so_ difficult to say."

Reid wanted to touch her hair and feel it's texture while he said the right words to encourage her. "JJ, it's okay. We said we're friends, remember."

"I know that we said we'd be friends – but I want more."

Reid sat stock still as a marble statue tucked away in an obscure corner of a vast city museum. His brain raced with confusion, sadness, hope, and love. He couldn't force his mouth to move and ask for clarification from her.

"I realized something that I should've seen months ago. I can't believe it took this case and possibly losing you to make me realize it. Now I do see, and I wanted to say it before I lost my nerve. I'm falling in love with you."

Reid continued to resemble a statue. He had to be dreaming! Soon, his alarm would ring, and he'd wake up with the same despair that had plagued the aftermath of his dreams about JJ since the day he'd met her nearly four years ago.

"Spence?"

Her voice finally penetrated the cloud around his vision and his hearing. He focused on her face and saw what he'd always hoped to see in her eyes – love.

"I, ah, I'm not good at expressing how I feel JJ, but if you mean it –"

"I do, Spence. I thought I broke up with Will because he wanted too much from me, but now I realize that I love you. I want to be with you, Spence and I couldn't hurt you by pretending to love another man to fill a void."

"JJ…"

"No," she rose from her seat and joined him on the tiny sofa. She was so close he could feel her body heat reaching out to him, and the scent of her perfume, like vanilla and roses, overwhelmed him. Her blue eyes stayed glued to his face, and one of her hands gripped his fingers. "Call me Jennifer, Spence."

"Jennifer," he savored the words like fine chocolate. "I like calling you Jennifer."

"I like hearing it."

She leaned in, and her hair slid forward to caress his cheek. It was as soft as silk, and he wanted to tangle his hands in it and tug her forward for a kiss. "I love you." He breathed and gasped when her lips met his.

They kissed each other like two people who'd never touched, or felt, or loved until that moment. Her warm tongue touched his lips, and he parted them to allow her entrance to his mouth and tongue. She tasted like the coffee they'd consumed and like something he couldn't identify but was pleasant and arousing.

"Jennifer," He groaned, then let her go and sat up straight. "I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking."

"You weren't, and that's a good thing. You need to get out of your head once in a while."

Reid blew out a breath. "I guess you're right. I should thank you because all I can think about is what might've happened –"

"Hey, we're all fine. No one is going anywhere, Spence."

"I guess I don't have to ask how you know what I was feeling. You _always_ know."

"I understand because I feel the same way. I finally realized that I love you because I was so afraid of losing one of us. I don't want to continue to live in denial."

"I'm glad. I don't know how much longer I could've played the understanding friend."

"I'm sorry I made you feel like I don't care."

"I get it, Jen. Let's go from here, okay."

"I'd say that's a great idea."

Reid kissed her forehead and stroked her hair. "Thank you. Now, how are you?"

JJ sighed. "I'm tired, upset and ready to go home. I want to forget about New York City for a while. You want to go out on a proper date?"

Reid nodded his head. "Yeah, I think that sounds wonderful."

"Good, because I have an idea that'll make you smile."

"Tickets to Comic-Con," Reid asked with a smirk. JJ smacked his arm. "Ow."

"Then stop with the sarcasm, Spence. Even if I wanted to go, it's not the right time of year for Comic-Con."

Reid eyed her then he grinned like a kid who'd just received the greatest gift of his life. "How do you know that? I thought you _hated _the idea of Comic-Con."

JJ narrowed her eyes, then she shook her head and laughed. "I walked right into that one."

"Yes, you did," replied a happy Reid.

"I read up on it, okay. That doesn't mean I want to go with you."

Reid quietly chuckled at her annoyed expression. "I thought you said you loved me."

JJ tried to look irritated, but Reid's eyes made her sigh and shook her head. "I do love you, Spence, but that love doesn't include standing in a line that wraps around two city blocks and subjecting myself to CosPlay."

"You'd make a gorgeous Doctor's companion. Polly comes to mind."

"Stop it," JJ pushed him away. "We're going to be late. Do you want Emily, Garcia, and Rossi wondering why we're the last to arrive at the jet?"

"No," Reid said. "I'm not ready to tell anyone, yet."

JJ nodded in agreement. "You're right; I like having a secret. Anyway, I haven't had a chance to explain to them about Will. You think that will distract them from realizing that we're together."

Reid shrugged his shoulders and went to grab his bag from his bedroom. "I don't know," he called back over his shoulder. "We'll find out in a few minutes."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid fidgeted in front of his bathroom mirror. His hands went to where his tie usually hung at his neck, but it wasn't there. JJ had said for him to dress casually for their date. He'd put on a light purple dress shirt, and some blue slacks with his usual sneakers and mismatched sock. He hoped he'd dressed appropriately, then decided that it was too late to change. He ran one of his hands through his new haircut and wondered if JJ would like it. He concluded that he looked ridiculous and was just about to go back to his closet when a knock sounded at his door.

_Maybe if you don't answer, she'll go away, and you won't have to make a fool of yourself. _

The knock sounded again, and Reid realized that if he didn't answer, JJ would find some way to make him suffer. He sighed again, pushed a lock of hair behind his ear and hurried to the front door. He hesitated and jumped when JJ said. "I know you're in there, Spence. Open the door."

Reid decided that he didn't want the neighbors to hear her, so he opened the door. JJ began to speak, then her eyebrows went into her hair, "Well, hello," she greeted and slipped past him into the room. JJ shut the door and tugged him into her arms. She kissed him until he couldn't breathe, then pulled away and began to circle him as he blushed bright red. "Jennifer."

"Shh, I want to take it all in," JJ said as she looked him up and down. "I was right," she smirked.

"Right about what," Reid asked as he tried to stop blushing.

"I knew if you got a haircut, you'd rock the look. You are smoking, Dr. Reid."

"Smoking," Reid asked in confusion.

"Hot," JJ explained, "As in handsome, good looking, aesthetically pleasing to the eye, a total babe."

"You're exaggerating. It's a haircut that I decided to get this morning because I was tired of the length and I wanted a change."

"Babe, there is a reason Morgan calls you Pretty Boy."

"Really."

JJ walked up to him and kissed him again. "Yes. Why do you think I greeted you so enthusiastically?"

"You hated my hair?"

"Spence, I love your unique sense of style, especially your purple scarf. I love everything about you, including your hair, but you have to admit that it did need a bit of a trim."

Spencer sighed loudly. "You're right; it was getting out of control. I just wanted to see if you'd say anything if I cut it."

JJ began to laugh. "Oh, you."

"Come on, I'm looking forward to what you have planned," Reid said with enthusiasm.

"All right," JJ agreed. "Let's go."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"That was awesome," Reid said two hours later as they strolled down K street. "How did you know I hadn't taken the Haunted DC tour yet."

"Perhaps your profiling skills are rubbing off on me."

Spencer stopped her as people passed around them like water around stones in a stream bed. He took in the brown leather jacket she wore over a royal blue tee shirt and a pair of jeans. She'd pulled her golden hair into a high ponytail and for some reason, baring her face emphasized her incredible eyes. He'd once heard the girls talk about colors of clothing and how it could change eye color. Her shirt made her eyes darken to the shade of polished sapphires. She was so beautiful it hurt his heart. Still, all her beauty paled in comparison to her brilliant mind, and her gentle, but tough nature, and what aroused him the most about her had to be how she did her job. He loved watching her handle the press like an orchestra conductor with a beautiful piece of old, classical music.

"Jennifer," he whispered as his thoughts raced in and out of his head in an instant. "You're a terrific profiler, because you're the one that chooses what we do. Don't you know we understand that, and I love you for it? You're amazing."

He had the satisfaction of watching her blush. "Thank you, Spence. Come on; the day's not over yet."

Reid took her hand, and they resumed their walk until JJ indicated a small café. "Let's get something to eat, and then I think we should go to a movie and make out in the back."

Reid smirked at her. "That's something I've never done."

"Good," JJ leaned up to kiss him. "I hope we enjoy many first times together."


	5. Chapter 5

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n thanks again to everyone that supports this story and takes the time to comment. _**

JJ's mouth curved into a wide smile when Reid entered the conference room. Despite their agreement to keep their relationship a secret, it was difficult not to grin when she saw Spencer with his new haircut and dressed in what she liked to think of as "geek chic." "Hey, Spence."

"Hi JJ," Reid greeted as he joined Emily, Rossi, and Morgan. "Where's Hotch?"

"He was in the middle of talking to his doctor for reinstatement when I called him about the case," JJ replied.

"I'm surprised to hear he's reinstated," Reid said. "He needs to stay out of loud places and not fly until his ears are healed."

"You're right, but don't let's talk about it," Rossi advised as he noticed Hotch coming down the hallway toward their gathering.

"Good morning," Hotch said, his usual impassive expression firmly in place despite the healing scrapes on his face.

The team greeted him, then turned their attention to JJ, who went through a new case involving a copycat of the "Angel Maker" in Lower Canaan, Ohio.

Reid commented on staging the body, and Morgan said. "It's ritual, nice hair by the way," and flipped a hank into Reid's eyes.

JJ managed not to snap at Morgan to leave Spencer alone, and instead attempted to meet Reid's eyes with a sympathetic look. Spencer didn't meet her eyes, after the briefing and the realization of the team that the copycat was more than the usual fan.

"I'll kick his ass for you later," JJ murmured as they left the conference room to prepare for their flight to Ohio.

Reid waited until he was sure the team was out of earshot. "Thanks, but I'm fine. Your opinion is the only one that matters to me."

JJ winked at him and left him on the walkway over the bullpen.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCM

After they'd found Chole and she'd committed suicide by cop, it was time to go home. JJ asked Morgan, Emily, and Reid if anyone had directions back to the airstrip.

"There's only one road outta here," Morgan said. "We'll find it."

"Morgan doesn't ask for directions, JJ. You didn't know that."

"He thinks it's better to vibe it," Reid put in and got a glare from Morgan for his pains.

"All right, smart ass, you drive," Morgan said and tossed the keys to Reid.

"Oh great," Emily said as she moved away toward Hotch.

"Come on," JJ encouraged Reid.

They took their places in the vehicle and listened as Hotch told Emily he was driving back to Quantico because he shouldn't be flying.

JJ stared at the back of Reid's head and thought about what Rossi told Hotch about stretching it out for a couple of days, that a trip like that might be fun for Spencer and herself, one day.

_You should ask him._

JJ wiped the smirk from her face when Spencer glanced in the rearview and found her eyes. He didn't smile, but as always, his love spoke to her from his beautiful face, and then he shut down his emotions when Morgan said. "Let's go, pretty boy. The jet is _waiting_."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid yawned over his first cup of coffee for the morning. It was a beautiful fall day, and a Sunday made going to the park appealing, but then his eyes fell on his chess set, and he shook his head. If he went back to the place where he played chess with Eric, he'd think about Gideon and – his phone rang, and he grabbed it from his coffee table. It was JJ.

"Hey, Jennifer."

"Hi, Spence. How are you?"

"I'm great now that I've heard your voice."

"You're sweet."

"It's true."

"So, did you want to go to breakfast and maybe take a drive up to Colonial Williamsburg? I want to do some shopping."

Reid frowned. "I'm not sure I want to go shopping with a woman. Garcia talks about it _all_ the time and makes it sound like an ordeal for men."

JJ laughed, and the hair on the back of his neck stood up at the sound. "I promise I won't drag you all over town. I want to find a birthday gift for my mom."

Reid decided that asking JJ why she couldn't find something in McLean wasn't worth the trouble. He looked forward to a Colonial Williamsburg excursion. He'd never been there, and he'd heard great things about the food.

"All right, I'll pick you up in thirty minutes."

"No way, Spence. It's a long drive. We'll take my car."

"My vehicle is in perfect working order," Reid protested.

"I'm sure it is, but we can't afford to break down, and my car's only three years old."

"Fine," Reid said and secretly was pleased as he hated driving long distances.

"Don't pretend you're not happy."

_How does she do that? _

Reid decided not to obsess over why JJ seemed to know what he was thinking at any given moment. He said goodbye and went to change his clothes for pieces in his newly acquired casual wardrobe.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ knocked on Reid's door twenty- nine minutes later and stared in delight when he opened it and stepped out. He wore a long sleeve, dark brown cashmere sweater with a one-quarter zip in the front that showed the white tee shirt underneath. He'd paired it with blue jeans and his favorite sneakers. The jersey emphasized the brown in his hazel eyes so that they looked like melted milk chocolate.

"You look gorgeous," JJ breathed and leaned up for a kiss. "I'm not complaining, but why did you decide to add this to your wardrobe."

"I thought it might be time to broaden my experiences with clothing. I know that Morgan likes polo shirts, but I thought that for the season, I'd find some jerseys to wear. I was surprised how comfortable they are."

"Well, I approve," JJ said and squeezed his hand. "You look great no matter what, but this is taking it to _another_ level, babe."

"Thank you. You look beautiful." Reid said as he took in her jeans, and the thin white sweater she wore with white running shoes and her hair down around her shoulders.

"Thank you."

"Ready to go," Reid inquired.

"Yep, let's go."

Reid enjoyed the scenery around them as they drove from D.C to Williamsburg. It was a long drive, but they made it in time for an early lunch at a small café on the edge of the town. It featured all the comfort foods he liked to eat.

"That was _delicious_," JJ said after pushing away her plate, now empty of pot roast, mashed potatoes, and green beans.

"I agree," Spencer sat back in his seat and thought about ordering dessert. "What do you want to do next?"

"It's time to go shopping."

"I think I overate. Why don't I wait here with a slice of apple pie and some coffee?"

"No," JJ waggled her finger at him. "The walk will do you good."

He pretended that he was irritated, but once they stepped out into the crisp fall air, he smiled at her. "It's beautiful," he said and studied the trees which were beginning to change colors and the grass which remained emerald green. All of the homes and shops still retained their eighteenth-century look for the benefit of tourists and for some reason; it made him feel as if he belonged there.

"I agree," JJ said as they linked hands and began to stroll down the sidewalk next to the quaint cobblestone streets.

Ten minutes later, The Williamsburg Craft House came into view on a small rise at the end of the block. It was two stories high, with columns supporting the porches on each floor. The back of the house was red brick and the front painted white. They entered the front door after climbing three steps up to the porch and found several other people milling around looking at jewelry, folk art, and other items laid out in a huge front room.

"Hey Spence, look at this scarf."

He wandered over to see JJ hold up a colorful scarf in a floral pattern. "For your mom," he asked uncertainly. Reid had never met JJ's mother, but the scarf seemed more suited to Garcia.

JJ took another look at the scarf and said. "You're right. It's too busy for mom, but it would be perfect for –"

"Garcia," Reid finished, and they laughed.

"Hm, you're finishing my sentences already, Spence."

His eyebrows went up. "Why is that important?"

JJ shook her head and went to a rack of vintage dresses from the early twentieth century. "I'm sure you've heard about couples who know each other so well; they can finish each other's sentences."

"Yes, I do. I was teasing you."

"Oh you," JJ rolled her eyes and then hurried to a wall featuring folk artwork. She roamed up and down, then shook her head. "I like most of these paintings, but it doesn't seem right for a gift. Mom doesn't like art you hang on walls. She'd rather have a book of prints on the coffee table.

Reid understood. He didn't have art on his walls. Why stare at something that took up space, but didn't have a function, especially when you could frame pictures and put them on a desk or in a scrapbook, as his mother favored?

"Does she like jewelry?"

JJ joined him at a table that featured vintage pieces from an estate sale. It was all half price, but JJ frowned over the selection. "Mom doesn't like rings, but she does like cameos. I don't see one, though. It all looks custom made."

Reid studied an eighteenth-century gimmel ring he spied in the selection. He knew they'd been popular as wedding rings and opened to reveal a heart.

"Spence?"

"Sorry," he turned to see JJ looking at a tavern style lamp that came with a hook. "Look at this. The last time I talked to mom, she mentioned wanting a lamp like this for her garden.

"What do you think?" Reid asked as he hefted the lamp. "It's not too heavy, and it appears to be authenticate to the eighteenth century."

"How do you know?"

Reid smirked at her, and she shook her head. "Right, you read a lot."

"Yes, I do."

"Let's pay for it, and then we'll head back to the car."

When they'd made it back to the car and locked the lantern inside, Reid looked at his watch. "It's only three. We can stay and look around a bit more if you want."

JJ shrugged. "Are you sure? You're the one that hates shopping."

"I don't _hate_ it," Reid said. "I thought it'd be more of an ordeal. I'm pleasantly surprised."

JJ narrowed her eyes at him. "Hm, I think I should drag you into the nearest shoe shop and make you wait while I try on at least ten pairs."

"Jennifer!"

JJ grinned at him. "I'm kidding. Let's walk around a bit more and then we'll head back out to DC. There's something else I want to do."

"What?"

"You'll see."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ took Reid back to her place, but he balked at going inside. "I thought we decided to take it slow."

JJ looked him up and down. "Spence. I'm starved. I want to order a pizza and watch a movie. I'm tired from all the walking around we did. I'm not in the mood for more."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I misunderstood and –"

JJ clapped a hand over his mouth. "It's okay. We'll watch a movie, have junk food and if you like I can take you home, or you can camp out on the couch."

Reid went scarlet. "I think taking me to the nearest VRE station is fine, Jennifer."

"If that's the way you want it, then I'll take you to the train after we watch the movie.

Three hours later, Spencer sat with his arm around JJ, who slept soundly with her head on his shoulder and didn't hear him snore as he leaned back against the cushions of her sofa. The television showed a blue screen and the remains of pizza, beer and popcorn lay scattered over the coffee table. It was a night Reid would often think of in the days to follow.


	6. Chapter 6

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n thank you for patiently waiting for this new update. RL has taken over for several days. Once again I want to thank all who support this story by their comments, following or adding to their favorites. You're all awesome readerse. Please enjoy this new chapter. _**

JJ shifted restlessly from one side of her bed to the other. She yanked on her yellow tank as it rode up her torso and then punched at her pillow. She sat up in the dark and pulled her legs to her chest. The urge to cry wouldn't go away, and so she gave into it with gusto. She sobbed into her hands for several minutes before getting out of bed and grabbing her favorite blue robe.

After going to the kitchen for some chamomile tea, she huddled on her chocolate brown leather couch and pulled a knitted throw around her shoulders. She felt – cold! She couldn't stop shivering despite the tea and the blanket. The entire apartment felt artic, and she wondered if the heat had gone off in the middle of the night, then she remembered that the low temperature had been forecast as fifty-five and she didn't need the heat yet.

God, if she could stop thinking about three days in hell. She never wanted to go back to Colorado and indeed, not back to Liberty Ranch. She hoped with all her soul that Benjamin Cyrus burned in hell if there was such a place.

_I can take it!_

JJ sat up and put her hands over her ears as if she could drown out the memory of Emily's assurances that she could survive a brutal beating at the hands of Cyrus and his followers.

_Sons of bitches that hid behind the Bible! _

JJ tried to sip her tea now that it cooled, but instead of calming her nerves, the liquid tasted like death and betrayal. She rocked back and forth in her seat and tried not to think of Emily's bruises. If Emily hadn't stepped up – no, she wouldn't think of it because she'd never sleep.

The explosion from the compound bloomed in her mind and replayed over again as if it happened for the first time. She thought she could smell the acrid scent of burning wood and see the flames lashing the air like the tail of a huge serpent sent to devour the wicked. If Morgan and Reid hadn't emerged from the wreckage – again, JJ shook her head in denial. They were okay. _He_ was okay!

JJ went back to her room and climbed into her bed after straightening her comforter. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep, but all she saw behind her eyelids was Spencer's face and the pain in his eyes. He'd seen a medic at the ranch, and the bruises to his abdomen made Cyrus's weapon, would heal, but he wouldn't be the same, just as he wasn't the same after Tobias Hankel.

She tossed and turned until four in the morning before giving up and going back to her living room. She turned on a mindless infomercial on television and finally fell into a restless sleep that lasted for three hours before nightmares of Hotch telling them that Spence hadn't survived propelled her out of her rest.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ waited until nine am before calling Reid's number, and when he didn't answer, she thought he might be sleeping. She paced her living room then decided to try and clear her head with a run down to the park. She changed into her workout attire, slipped her cell into a pocket and grabbed a bottle of ice-cold water.

She ran out of her door and down the steps to the city streets. People hurried along the sidewalk and cars whizzed past, but she barely saw them. She moved around them without effort as though guided by some instinct that lived on from a time when humans ran from predators every day. Soon, she found the rhythm of her feet slapping the concrete and the inhale and exhales of her breath pushed everything out of her mind. She pushed on, faster and faster until she flew like the wind past the park and half a mile down the street. Spence insisted on pushing into her mind, and when she saw his lovely eyes full of pain and guilt over Emily, she stopped, bent over and put her hands on her knees as she tried to get her breath back.

Damn it! It wasn't his fault that Emily took a beating. It was Benjamin Cyrus's fault, and she was going to _make_ him see it. She looked around and noticed that several people were staring at her as they went by, but she decided not to make eye contact. Instead, she gulped down half her water, then walked back to the park to find a bench.

Spence's phone didn't pick up when she called him, and she looked at her watch. It was ten minutes to ten am, and still, he didn't answer the phone. Hotch had said that the team had three days off. Emily and Reid were to stay out until cleared by a doctor and an FBI psychologist. JJ nearly smiled because Spence and Emily both had the intelligence to fool the shrinks. JJ sighed and decided to run back to her apartment and take a long shower. Maybe Spence had gone to the doctor as their medic had suggested and he couldn't answer the phone.

_Stop obsessing!_

JJ stood and began the run back to her place. If only she'd had the chance to talk to him without the team around to overhear and judge. If she knew he was okay!

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid stood in front of the BCC and said "Hi, my name is Spencer. I'm an addict. I've been sober for eighteen months and three days. We just returned case in Colorado. It was all over the news, I'm told. I was held in a polygamist compound for three days with my teammate Emily, and –"

Reid stopped and swallowed hard as he surveyed the group in front of him. They watched him with solemn and understanding faces, and for some reason, their lack of judgment nearly forced tears from his eyes.

"I was injured, but others were hurt worse, and some were killed. We lost a teenage girl whom the leader had brainwashed and subjected to child rape in the name of religion and telling all that polygamy was God's way. I don't know if there is a God," Reid continued, and his memory of what he'd seen when briefly dead in Georgia played on the edges of his conscious mind. "I want to think that if there is, he gives us the right to choose our destinies, but it's impossible to understand when those choices harm a child.

Spencer spoke for a long time, and when he finished, he sat at the back of the group. Many of his fellow addicts watched him as he walked to his seat and said with their eyes that they didn't sit in judgment on him. The act of talking about what happened took a weight from his shoulders, but he wished that JJ was there. He wanted her to see this and understand how these good people stood in strength around him when he needed it most.

John approached him after the meeting, "Spencer, I'm so sorry."

"I know, John. Thank you."

"How are you?"

"I'm better. Last night, after I arrived back at my apartment, I wanted oblivion so badly, I nearly went out searching for a needle."

"You didn't, though," John said softly as the group milled around them with coffee and cookies.

"No, but I was tempted, more than any other time since I killed Tobias Hankel. I couldn't sleep, and I wanted to call JJ."

"Why didn't you?"

Spencer blew out a breath. "Hotch knows, and I think Morgan does, but I haven't told the others. I can't bring myself to talk about it, yet."

"You think they'll judge you or you'll lose their respect."

"Yes, and I know what you're going to say," Reid held up a hand. "You're going to say that telling them can only help and you're right, but – oh, god. I don't know how to begin."

"Why don't you begin with JJ?"

"I don't know if our relationship is strong enough."

"Spencer, it's my job to know my people and their abilities. I know Jennifer Jareau, better now that you have intense feelings for her. She's a strong woman whose kind, compassionate and giving. She's intelligent, and she loves you."

Spencer gaped at John, then laughed. "If you can see it, then I'm surprised Hotch hasn't picked up on it and confronted us."

"I think he's waited for you to come clean."

"I don't want to be separated from JJ."

"You won't because there are no fraternization rules, as you know, and you have me on your side. I want your team intact because you are the _best_, period."

"How do I begin?" Reid asked.

"You talk to her. Tell her what you've told this group. She _will_ understand."

"I wish I had your confidence."

John laid a hand on Reid's shoulder. "You do. Now go and talk to her."

"I will."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid stood outside JJ's apartment door and tried to make his hand raise and knock. He shifted from one foot to the other. He hadn't felt this nervous around JJ in months. What if she hated him for his weakness?

_She won't hate you._

Reid knocked and waited, then knocked again, and finally, JJ's door opened. He gaped at her appearance. Her eyes were red and swollen; her hair hung limp and without its usual shine. She wore a ripped pair of grey sweatpants and a faded pink tee shirt.

"What do you want?"

Reid jerked at the snap in her voice. "I'm sorry, I didn't call but –"

"Yeah, I _noticed_. I've been trying to call you all day, but you didn't pick up. I was terrified –"

He watched her dissolve into tears, and he hurried forward, closed the door and led her into her living room. JJ sat on the edge of her sofa and swiped at her face. "I don't want to talk to you, now, Spence. I'm furious."

Reid sat despite her anger and held out a hand. "I'm sorry, Jennifer. I had a lot of trouble sleeping; then I had a doctor's appointment and several errands. It wasn't my intention to frighten you."

"You think that now we're dating you don't have to pick up the phone. Must've been something mighty important to ignore your girlfriend especially after what happened last night."

Reid felt something stir in his heart that was anger, understanding and some self-recrimination. "I didn't ignore you on purpose, and I _won't_ let you make me feel guilty. I had something significant to handle tonight."

"I can understand having trouble sleeping. I didn't get any sleep until early this morning. I can understand the doctor, but what else was so important that you ignored my calls."

Reid blew out a breath and sat back. "Jen, there's something I need to tell you, and I don't know if you're going to like it."

JJ finally made eye contact with him, and her face changed. Fear filled her blue eyes, and he kicked himself for making her more afraid. "You want out," JJ said.

"What? No. I said I love you and I _mean_ it. You're the only one for me, Jennifer Jareau. You're the missing piece to my soul."

"Then what –"

"I was at a Beltway Clean Cops meeting."

JJ stared at him. "What?"

"It's a support group for addicts. I'm an addict, or rather a recovering addict. I have been since after Georgia. I guess you could say that Tobias in his bid to spare me the pain inflicted by Rafael and Charles, forcibly addicted me to Dilaudid. I wasn't strong enough to fight it. I stole drugs from his dead body after you found me in that cemetery."

Reid got to his feet and took two steps to the door. "No," JJ grabbed him. "You're_ not_ going anywhere, Spencer Reid. You don't drop that on me and assume that I'll hate you for it. What kind of woman do you think I am?"

Reid swallowed hard as tears filled his eyes. "I'm sorry. We've been together for months now, and I didn't have the strength to –"

JJ put a finger to his lips, and a tear slid down his cheek. "I'm sorry that I made you feel that you had to hide from me. Will you forgive me?"

Reid gathered her into his arms. "There's no need to forgive you. I'm sorry I ignored your calls. I should've made the time to call you and let you know I'm okay."

JJ hugged him tight, and he groaned. "Damn it," JJ said and pulled back. "I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing."

"Let me get you something for the pain."

"No, you're the only thing I need."

Reid tugged her close and kissed her mouth. He revealed in the feel of her skin, and the touch of her fingers on his face. "Jen. I love you."

"Spence, are you sure this is what you want, now. You're hurt."

"I'm sure we can work around it, but you'll have to cut me a bit of metaphorical slack. I've never done this before," he admitted.

"Hm," JJ said as his mouth went to her neck. "You're doing great so far."

She took his hand and led him into her room. He shut the door and found the light he'd searched for so long to complete him.

CMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ woke the next morning and smiled as she turned to snuggle into the warm, male body next to her. She slid her arms around his waist and let her hands stroke gently over the bruises on his skin. "Hm," he said and jerked a little. "That hurts."

"Sorry, babe." JJ kissed his bare shoulder, then shifted as he turned with a groan and faced her.

"I think it's worse this morning than yesterday."

"I'm not surprised considering our rather vigorous activities last night."

Reid smiled down at her, and his eyes had lost some of their haunted light. She slid a hand through his hair and kissed his nose. "I'm sorry I didn't play the role of the voice of reason, but I needed you."

"I needed you, too. As much as I wanted to wait for the right time, and place, I suddenly realized that –"

"We work for the BAU, and there'd never be a time when we weren't recovering from a case, or some other trauma or injury."

"Well, that's putting a sad spin on our lives, but you're right."

JJ lightly smacked his arm. "You know what I mean."

"Yes, I do."

He went quiet as he studied her face. JJ narrowed her eyes and said. "What are you thinking?"

"I was wondering – "

She lifted her eyebrows. "Yes."

"You're going to make me say it,"

"Yes."

He sighed and put his face into her hair. "It was my first time and –"

"Baby, look at me."

He looked into her eyes which were full of love. "I'm sorry to tease you. I know how much all of this meant to you. You don't have to ask if everything was okay. It was amazing because I was with you."

She watched as relief lightened his expression and he grinned with happiness. "I'm glad because I was afraid."

"You don't have to be afraid, baby. It's only going to get better."

He frowned, and JJ put a hand to his face. "What?"

"Well, I don't know if I can accept this as a true first experience because even though you insisted that we take it slow and that we use a rather creative position, it was painful, and I don't want to associate pain with sexual pleasure."

JJ laughed as his face went pink. "Can I assume that to mean you're _not_ going to turn into a BDSM fanatic?"

He pushed her over to her back. "I think I'll make you pay for that, Jennifer."

"So that's a no," she groaned as his talented hands began their new favorite job.

"Yes, I'm going to work through the pain," and he sank into her with a groan and a sigh.


	7. Chapter 7

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

The golden glow of the rising sun teased the edge of the blinds covering the south-facing window in JJ's bedroom. She opened her eyes, blinked, turned over to greet her bedmate and found the other side of the bed empty.

"Spence," She called out in a rough morning voice.

When he didn't reply, she grabbed her robe and hurried to the living area. "Hey, what are you doing out here?" she asked when she found him lying on her couch. He wore slacks, his dress shirt, no socks or shoes, and unhappy expression.

"Couldn't sleep, and I didn't want to disturb you."

"Want to talk about it," she asked when he slid his legs out of the way for her to sit.

She ran her fingertips through his mussed hair as Reid sighed. He linked fingers with her free hand. "I'm not sure what's bothering me. I had a – strange dream last night, and it took me off my guard."

She squeezed his hand tight. She loved the texture of his skin and the steely strength of his fingers. She'd always thought that he had the hands of a concert pianist or a sculptor, but recently, she'd come to know their gentleness, too. Reid's fingers tightened in response to her touch, and his eyes searched her face.

"I was a child again, about three and we were visiting my Uncle Daniel. He died when I was four, and my mother took it very hard. They were extremely close, and he was the only one in the family that liked my dad. Anyway, he was a teacher and very bright. He loved to play word games with me, and we'd sit together for hours with flashcards and toy letters. He never lost patience with my questions. He was kind and gentle, and I loved him very much."

"I'm so sorry, Spence. You've lost too much in your life; it's not fair."

Reid slid his fingers through her hair when she laid her head on his shoulder. "I wish I could say its okay, but it's not. He was only thirty when he died. He never got to experience love or having kids, or seeing his students progress to adulthood and beyond. It's _not_ fair," Reid repeated her words in a choked voice.

JJ lifted her hands and wiped away tears from his face with her thumbs. She gently cupped his chin and said softly, "I think you're trying to cope with Colorado, babe."

"I don't want to drag Uncle Daniel into my traumas," he cried out. "He deserves better than to enter my dreams because my subconscious is trying to tell me I'm afraid of loss?"

She stroked a hand down his back and rubbed in circles over his ribs and up to his shoulders. "You know you're can't control your subconscious."

He tugged her into his arms, and she bit her lips to keep back tears as his body shook. "I'm sorry," he pulled back, and she saw more tears in his eyes. "I didn't mean to start our Saturday with an emotional rant."

"Babe, I'm here for you no matter what you need. I love you."

Finally, he smiled, and it lit up his face like the sun on a smooth mountain lake. He blew out a heavy breath and nodded. "Thank you, Jennifer. I love you more than you realize."

"I think I know," she said with a wink and jerked away when he began to tickle under her armpit.

"Stop it," she gasped out. "I have a gun."

"As do I," he reminded her and pushed her back on the couch.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ drew on a pair of leggings, a long tee-shirt she always wore for yoga, and wandered out to the living area. "Come on," She smacked Reid's leg where he reclined on the couch after their morning encounter and after a light breakfast. "You agreed to stretch with me."

"I don't know how to do yoga," he reminded her. "I'm not properly dressed."

"We'll worry about proper attire next time. Today we're going to do a few simple stretches."

"I'd rather watch you," he complained.

"Right, so you can get worked up again and interrupt my workout with that gleam you get in your eyes when you want to throw me down on the nearest convenient piece of furniture."

"I already did that," he reminded her.

"Cute. Now stand up and follow me."

She had just enough time to gently force him to imitate her warrior pose when his phone beeped. "Damn it!"

His eyes lit up, and she huffed out an irritated breath. "That better not be work."

It was work, and it was urgent. It was a child abduction in Nevada, or more specifically, Las Vegas.

"What?" Reid asked, and his happy smile fell away when he saw JJ's expression. "It's a child abduction in Las Vegas."

"Oh," he shrugged his shoulders. "Let's get dressed."

"Babe, wait. You were dreaming of your Uncle Daniel and now we're going to your hometown for work. You okay?"

"Yes," he insisted. "I'm fine. Let's go."

She stood still after he hurried out of the room and stared at his retreating back. Two weeks after Colorado and he had to go home for a case. How could he be okay? She sighed and followed him to her bedroom. Somehow, she'd find the time to talk to him about it.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCM

The desert wind whipped Reid hair as he stood watching Michael's reunion with his parents. He thought about what Morgan had just said about Riley Jenkins and made a quick decision. Morgan had a point with his photographic memory, but he remembered that time in his life and how upset his mother had been. It wasn't her disease, Reid realized. Now that he was an adult and knew all there was to know about her condition, he knew it wasn't just her unstable and paranoid mind.

"Hey," JJ joined him. "You okay?"

He quickly outlined his concerns over Riley, but not his fears over his father or what he intended to do now that Hotch had agreed for them to wait to go back to DC.

"Spence, Morgan makes sense, but I trust your instincts. You know your mom better than anyone and if she believed you to be in danger, then as much as I hate to think of it, maybe you were. I know you won't feel easy about it until you figure it out."

"I guess. Look, I want to see my mom again and stay with her. I know there are shows we could go to without the team, or maybe gamble a little, but I need to see her."

"Go," she said as the team began to gather around an SUV and look their way as they talked. "We'll talk later."

"I want to take you with me, but –"

"It's okay. We'll go together, another time. I like your mom. She's amazing."

"Yeah, she is."

JJ wanted to touch him, to caress his face, or feather her fingers through his hair, or kiss him, but the team was watching.

"Hey," Morgan called. "You two going to stand over there all day long. It's Vegas, man."

JJ rolled her eyes and hurried to them with Reid following behind. "Go find your own party, Morgan."

"I intend to, Blondie." He wiggled his eyebrows and JJ shook her head. "See, Reid, I win our bet."

Reid stared at her for a minute, and her eyes silently begged him to understand. "Oh, right, well I'm a bit light on cash right now."

"That's okay; you can owe me."

"Oh, Pretty Boy, lose a bet. That's pathetic considering where we are!"

"Morgan, it's hot, and I want a cold drink," Emily interrupted their banter.

"Yeah, while we're young," Rossi deadpanned.

They piled into their vehicle and Reid watched out the window as the familiar desert landscapes of his hometown began to flash by. He looked over at JJ, but she was in conversation with Emily. He decided to lean back and nap for a few minutes.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

As always, Reid's mother astonished him with her insight into his life. She knew he'd solved the case with a positive outcome. He nearly laughed aloud when his mother calmly, but firmly announced her intention of scratching out the eyes of anyone that tried to keep him there longer than one night. He wished that JJ had been there to hear because she would've enjoyed the sentiment. He'd tell her about it one day.

He'd watched his mother finish her dinner and had accepted a plate of food from one of the aides. It wasn't five-star restaurant quality, but it wasn't the kind of fare you'd expect from a horrible state-run institution. He enjoyed it because he knew the team was eating Chinese and Reid thanked whatever power ran the universe that he didn't have to make a fool of himself with JJ watching, again. After their meal, they played more scrabble, and his mother won two games to his one victory. She began to tire, so he walked her to her room, and she listened as he read from one of her favorite books.

While his mother readied for bed, including the administration of meds she took at night, he removed a file from his bag and began to study the case of Riley Jenkins. He knew it the case by heart, now, but couldn't stop staring at the photo attached to it.

"Baby," Dianna said after she got comfortable in bed and she'd turned out her light. "Are you sure you're alright? You look tired and distracted.

"I'm fine, mom," Reid said and was glad for the cover of darkness. "I didn't sleep well the other night and –"

"I hope Jennifer is taking care of you."

"Mom?"

"Spencer, you talk about her all the time in your letters. I know you love her and that she cares for you. When are you going to bring her to see me?"

"I wanted to bring her this time, but I didn't want to make you uncomfortable."

"Darling, I want to see her and talk to the woman that makes you so happy."

"All right, we'll plan a trip out soon. I promise."

"Good. Now go to sleep."

"Yes, mom."

He didn't expect to sleep, but as soon as his mother fell silent, he closed his eyes and dropped into a dream so real, he thought he might be able to reach out and touch the objects around him. He stood at the bottom of a flight of stairs. The basement surrounding him looked like any other basement, but in this room, a man crouched over something behind the washer and dryer. The man's back was to Reid, and he couldn't see his face.

"FBI," Reid ordered and pointed his gun at the man. "Put your hands in the air."

The man rose slowly and turned with his hands up, and Reid saw the legs of a child stuffed behind the appliances, but more than that as the man turned, he recognized a face he'd never thought to see again.

"Dad?"

Reid's eyes flew open, and he sat up, breathing like a man running for his life. Something tumbled off him and hit the floor. The file folder, he realized. He'd dreamed of the Jenkins case, and now his father had a central place in the tale. Why?

He tried to get his breathing under control and thanked the Gods he hadn't cried out and woken his mother. He scrubbed his hands through his hair and lay back on the couch.

"I have to know," he said quietly. "No matter the outcome."

Eventually, he fell back into sleep and dreams he didn't remember, and when the morning light returned, he smiled for his mother, talked to her and said goodbye after declining breakfast and promising her he'd eat something and that he'd visit again. He kissed her goodbye and hurried out into the Nevada heat.

"Time to see how well I can bluff."


	8. Chapter 8

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

JJ paced the confines of her small office while she ran her hand through her hair and tried to decide what to do.

_You should've known! You're supposed to read him better than anyone and he lied to your face. _

She sat behind her desk and reached for her cell phone. She'd call him and then she'd do what she could to help him despite his deception. Her hands shook as she dialed his number and anger shot through her gut like acid. Damn! Why didn't he confide in her? JJ thought they were past the days of secrets when he'd come clean about his addiction.

_You have secrets, too._

She tossed down her phone without speaking when she got his voicemail instead of his sweet, gentle voice over the line. If that's the way he wanted it – she leapt to her feet and made it three steps from her desk when her phone rang. She felt elation slam into her belly so hard, she almost tripped over a desk leg on the way back to grab her phone.

"Spence?" She answered, breathlessly, and without checking the caller id.

"Is this Jennifer Jareau," said an unfamiliar voice.

"May I ask who's calling?"

"This is Shalise. I'm a nurse at East Allegheny Community Hospital."

"Mom," JJ whispered as her stomach dropped and her heart began to gallop in her chest. "Is it my mom, Jackie Jareau?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so. She's been involved in a car accident and you're listed as next of kin."

"What happened? How is she?"

Hotch entered her office, but she held up a hand when he spoke. He took in her face and his perpetual stony expression softened in concern.

"Your mother has two broken ribs, a compound fracture of her right femur and several burns and bruises from airbag injuries. Right now, she's stable, but we wanted you to know."

"Thank you. Will you tell her I love her, and I'll be there soon?"

"Yes ma'am, I am sorry."

"Thank you, you're very kind."

She dropped her phone, sat and put her hands over her face. "JJ, what's happened to your mom?"

She looked up at him with tears forming in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Hotch, I know this is a bad time and I want to help Spence, but my mom was in a serious car accident. I need to go to her."

"Of course, go. I'll inform the team and Garcia. She'll set up your flight. Do you need a hotel or –"

"I know where mom hides the spare key to the house. Thanks, Hotch."

"You're welcome. Go!"

JJ grabbed her go bag and her purse. She hurried down the hallway with Hotch following on her heels. She reached the doors to the bullpen when Emily entered. "Hey, JJ, where's the fire?"

"Not now," Hotch snapped. "Meet me in the conference room with Garcia."

"Yes sir," Emily said.

"I'll call you later," JJ said and ran to the elevators.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"Emily," Hotch said the minute she and Garcia entered the conference room. "JJ's mother was hurt in a car accident. I need you to take point on Reid's case from here. Garcia –"

"Ticket for the first available flight to the Keystone State, on it, boss."

"I'm going to contact HR and see who we can get to fill in as a media specialist."

"Um, Hotch, what about Agent Jordan? I hear she's just returned to Anti-Crime from a task force in New York."

"Good thinking, Emily." Hotch nodded. "I'll run it by Strauss right now. Get to work."

Emily and Garcia scattered as Hotch hurried to Strauss's office without calling first, which he knew would irritate her, but he didn't care as time was of the essence.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

_Why is she crying," little Spencer wondered as he stood half-hiding behind the doorway to their living room? He didn't like to see mommy crying, it was scary. His little legs began to shake as she turned from the window and left with her head bowed and tears running down her face. Mommy was sick, Daddy said and sometimes she might be sad, or angry, or sleepy, but she was his mommy. _

_Little Spencer hurried to the window and peered between the curtains into the sun-filled back yard. Daddy? What was daddy doing? There was a fire in their barbecue pit and daddy threw something with blood on it. Little Spencer knew what blood was, it came out of your body when something hurt you. Was Daddy hurt? No, he didn't look hurt. Clothes, Daddy was burning clothes. Why? Why are the clothes bloody? Daddy?_

Adult Spencer burst out of his hypnotic trance like a competitive diver breaching water from a deep dive. His lungs burned and his heart raced so hard, he felt like he might pass out. He couldn't breathe, and he barely heard Rossi say, "_Easy_ Spencer, take it easy. You're _okay_."

No, he wasn't okay, Spencer thought. Nothing would ever be the same again and he didn't know how to go on from this moment. Forcing his mother to relive her memories cut him like a razor blade skimmed over the throat of an innocent child, but he had to know.

"You mother isn't stable," Morgan told him later.

God, how he hated hearing that from people who thought they knew his mother simply because of her disease. Reid _knew_ his mom, and how she coped with stress and he didn't need Morgan telling him otherwise.

"I don't know how my father is involved," Reid spat out angrily. "I _know_ he is involved."

They noticed Riley's father leaving the station at the same time Lou Jenkins turned and saw them standing on the sidewalk. There was something in his eyes, Reid saw and said. "What's he doing here?"

CMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid couldn't believe it when his mother entered the police station after they'd brought in Lou Jenkins for murdering Gary Michaels. The whole story came out and the agent in him cringed at the thought that his father covered up a murder, but the son in him silently thanked his dad for sparing his mother the ordeal of implication in the crime. Sometimes it's not black and white despite what he wanted to believe.

"You could've come back," Reid said, once he realized what his father had done.

"I didn't know how to take care of you anymore. When I lost that confidence, there was no going back."

"What's done is _done_," Dianna said, and Reid heard the forgiveness he couldn't give in her voice and he wondered how she could say the words.

As if Dianna knew what he was thinking, she said. "At least you know the truth."

He forced himself to say. "I was wrong about everything. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too, son," William said.

It didn't make up for anything, Reid wanted to say, but he kept quiet for the sake of his mother. Leaving her was the hardest thing he'd ever done, but he had to go and find a way to live with the new knowledge in his brain, that joined every other memory, and fact stored within his synapses.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid pulled his phone from his pocket as soon as he found the safety and privacy of his hotel room. They had a flight out on a commercial jet in three hours and he needed to pack, but first, he needed to hear Jennifer's voice. He needed it like a man dying of thirst, needs water to live. He saw that she'd tried to call him twice but hadn't left a message.

"Hey," Reid said when her voicemail picked up. "I'm sorry I missed you. I really need to talk to you. Call me when you get this message. We wrapped up the case and we have a flight out in three hours. I'll see you later."

His phone rang ten minutes later as he was hefting his go bag. "Reid."

"Reid," Hotch said and surprised him with his tone. "Yes, sir."

"_Morgan filled me in on the results of your investigation. Are you all right?"_

"Yes, sir."

"_Good, because when you get back, we're going to talk about going off on your own like that." _

"I'm sorry, Hotch. I needed to know and – "

"It's okay," Hotch overrode him. "We'll talk later. For now, there is something you need to know. JJ's gone home to Pennsylvania. Her mother was in a serious car accident and she's in the hospital."

Reid's heart crashed into his shoes and his hands began to shake. "H-how is – um, I mean, how is her mother?"

"I don't know, and I was hoping you'd go be with her as her support."

"Me sir?" He cursed the squeak in his voice and its tremor.

"Reid, do I have to say out loud that I know what's been going on with you and JJ for the last few months, or do you want me to pretend that because you're close friends, and as she needs a friend, that I'm sending you as a favor to her?"

"Um, thanks' Hotch. I'll get on the phone and change my ticket."

"No, need. It's already done."

"Garcia knows," Reid jumped to the wrong conclusion.

"Only that I'm sending you to JJ for support. She didn't question me."

He felt so much relief, he had to sit on the edge of his bed. "Right, thank you, sir."

"There's no rule about fraternization, but you're on the same team and after what happened with Strauss, you need to continue your discretion."

"Yes, sir. We will."

"It's up to you when or what you tell the rest of the team."

"I'll talk to JJ about it, Hotch."

"Good, now go. Your flight leaves in less than two hours."

"I will."

Reid shut his phone and began to gather all his belongings as fast as he could, then he called a cab to the airport without telling Morgan and Rossi. Reid considered it payback to them for breaking into his room and inserting themselves into his investigation.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ sat in a chair by her mother's bed. It was after visiting hours, but the nurse said she could stay if she wanted. Her mother slept peacefully, and the doctor said that she'd be all right after a few days in the hospital and then she'd need help at home for a few weeks. She tried again to call her aunt but couldn't reach her. She and her family had moved away from East Allegheny to Ohio and they didn't know about the car accident. She left another message and looked at her phone.

She should try to call Spence again. Had Hotch told him about her mother? Was he finished with the case and if so, had the killer been his father? She left her chair and went to stand by the window that overlooked the parking lot and lay cloaked in darkness and light from the lamps placed around for safety. The shadows from the lights crept over cars and over sidewalks like creatures that lived for darkness and silence. Maybe they'd come to life and devour her mother. She shook her head at her dark thoughts and turned back to look at her mother lying asleep under a light dialed down to the glow of one candle.

She jumped and her heart began to thump when a tap sounded at the door. She knew the source of that tap from her office and apartment door. Spence?

Reid poked his head in and found her eyes as if he knew her exact position in the room without seeing her. "Jennifer," he whispered and hurried in when she nodded silently.

"I'm sorry," he began.

JJ threw herself into his arms and began to cry with ragged sobs that broke his heart.

"Hey, it's going to be okay, right. Hotch said she was stable," he continued in a whisper.

"Yes. I was so afraid, Spence. Thank you for coming. I need you so much."

"I'm glad I came, Jen."

JJ tugged on his hand. "I need to talk to you."

"You sure you want to leave."

"Yeah, she's sleeping, and I don't want to wake her. I'll come back in the morning."

"Let's go," Reid said and led her out of the room.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

Reid opened his eyes to a pearl grey day beyond the windows of his hotel room. He stretched, yawned and raked a hand through his hair as he pulled up to a sitting position. JJ sat in a chair in one corner of the room wrapped in a pink robe. "Hey, Jennifer. What are you doing over there?"

"I just called the hospital. Mom had a good night. She's awake and having breakfast."

"I'm glad. You want to go see her?"

"I do, but I want to talk to you first, as we didn't do much talking last night."

"No, we didn't," Reid agreed. "Jennifer, I –"

"Spencer, we –"

They laughed together as JJ pulled off her robe, rejoined him in bed, and curled up in his arms when he pulled her close. "You go first," she ordered with a smart-ass smile.

"Jennifer. I wanted to apologize for lying to you about Las Vegas. I didn't want you to see me like that."

"Like what, Spence. Vulnerable and sad because you had good reason to think that your dad might be a pedophile or worse."

"Yes. I didn't want you to look at me differently or wonder if –"

"Wonder if your father had abused you and if that made you damaged in my eyes."

"Yes."

"Spencer Reid," JJ sat up and her blue eyes flashed in a manner reminiscent of when she had to deal with an unruly press pack. Her blond hair was tangled, and she still had a red mark on her neck from his mouth. She was so incredibly beautiful, he nearly forgot that she terrified him in this mood. "I don't think you're damaged goods. He didn't hurt you, right."

"No, I never seriously believed that he did and that I'd suppressed it, but I _did_ believe that he redirected his urges from me to a surrogate. What does that make me Jennifer? I was hateful, angry and an all-around jackass with Morgan and Rossi to witness it."

"Your father walked out on you as a young child and left you with a mentally unstable mother. There's no excuse for that, Spence."

"He left because he helped cover up my mother's involvement in a murder."

"Your mom?"

"Right, I forgot I didn't tell you. My mother and father were friends with Lou Jenkins and his family," Reid began and recounted the story for her.

"I'm glad your father isn't a pedophile, and that your mother listened to her instincts about Gary Michaels. If you'd –"

"I _wasn't_," Reid said. "I escaped it, thanks to my mother, and I escaped all the possible horrors of the system because I had the brains to take care of myself and mom. When I think about all the adults, I fooled for ten years, it staggers me."

"While I'm glad you didn't grow up in the system, I'm furious that no one stopped the bullying you went through in school or that they didn't notice your problems at home. I wonder what is wrong with people that they are _so_ blind."

"People only see what they want to see. Are we so different, Jennifer?"

She laughed, ruefully and rumpled up his hair. "I didn't want to see that you're the best thing that ever happened to me."

"That's not what I meant," he said. "I wanted to –"

"I understand," she interrupted. "I'm glad that we didn't take years to get to this place, and that Will showed his true colors. I shudder to think if I'd let him seduce me into marriage without ever knowing what it feels like to love someone so completely."

"I'm extremely glad for that, as well," He said and kissed her.

"Do you think you'll mend things with your dad, Spence?"

He shook his head. "No. At this moment, I want nothing to do with him. His lame excuse for leaving doesn't make it all better. Yes, he covered up a crime and I'm grateful that he did for mom's sake, but the agent in me wishes he'd come clean and that they'd dealt with it honestly. He destroyed evidence, Jen. If he called the cops, and not burned her clothes, the blood evidence would've cleared her. Then," he choked back tears. "Then maybe he might've stayed."

"Oh baby," She hugged him until he stopped shaking. "I'm so sorry."

"I know and I appreciate it. Thank you. Now, I want you to talk to me. I'm here to support you, not to lean on your shoulder when you need me."

"Spence, this isn't a competition. I love that you came here and that I have you to lean on, but I want to do the same for you. We strengthen each other, okay."

"Agreed," Reid said and made her smile. "Now, talk to me."

JJ bowed her head and drew in a long, deep breath, then let it go with an explosive exhalation. "I want to share a secret with you."

"Jen, I didn't apologize with the intention that you spill your secrets."

"I know, but I want to tell you for a couple of reasons, least of which is that my mom might mention her, the most important is that I love you and if we're going to move forward together, you deserve to know."

"Okay."

"First, I need to show you something."

He watched her slip out of bed and hurry to her carryon bag. He loved watching her move through the early morning light, without a stitch of clothing. She reminded him of a wood nymph he'd seen in a book of art his mother once owned. Instead of inspiring him to fevered arousal, this morning her small, nude body made him want to protect and hide her from the pain of the world.

She slid back into bed and cuddled up to him. She carried a small, maroon jewelry box, which she opened and turned toward him. It was a pendant with a solid gold heart. He assumed it was costume, not real and something a young teenage girl might prize. "I had an older sister. Her name was Rosaline. She was five years older than me and I drove her crazy sneaking into her room to admire this necklace."

He stroked her hair and his heart shattered when tears filled her beautiful blue eyes and made them shine like pools of pure water. He kissed her forehead and hugged her tight. "You don't have to tell me?" He said quietly.

"Yes. I do. I was eleven and she was sixteen the last time she caught me in her room. She was furious, but then her whole attitude changed when she saw me with the necklace. She knew I liked it and even though it was her favorite, she gave it to me and told me she loved me. The next day –"

She closed her eyes and tears dropped onto his bare chest. He didn't try to wipe them away because the wet sensation on his skin gave him the strength to say what she couldn't verbalize. "Suicide," he whispered into her hair. "I'm so sorry, Jen."

"She cut her wrists in the bathtub. I found her. Oh, god, Spence. It was horrible and all I could do was stand there and stare and –"

"Don't, sweetheart, don't," he soothed, and tears of sympathy stung his eyes.

"Why didn't we see it?" JJ demanded as she sat up and wiped at her eyes with angry fists. "We should've seen it."

"Didn't we just say that people see what they want to see because the truth is too painful, or inconvenient."

"The worst part is that we don't know why. She didn't leave a note. Mom thinks it's because dad didn't like her boyfriend, but now that time has passed and my job, I wonder."

"I won't tell you that you have to let go of wondering why, Jen. I won't try to say the right things and tell you it's okay because it isn't."

"You don't have to," she reached up and gently brushed her fingers through his hair. "Being here for me and listening is all I need. It does get better," she said, and he saw that she wasn't just saying it for his sake. "Every day I think of her and every day it's easier."

"I'm glad for you, but I wish I could've met her."

JJ laughed through her tears. "You would've loved her. She was amazing."

"Of course, she was," Reid said with a small grin. "She was your sister."

"God, I love you," she stretched up to kiss him.

"I love you too, Jennifer."

"Now, tell me about your mom. I want to hear everything."

She sighed and then smiled. "I used every skill I've learned as a media specialist and as an agent to get everything I wanted from the first responders and the doctors. It's amazing what you can get with a badge."

"Jennifer Jareau," Reid exclaimed. "You minx." He laughed when she threw him a look that promised violence.

"What can I say. I learned it from that jerk in the bar I told you about."

"Great, you're taking a lesson from a "Playa," as Morgan would say."

JJ shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Don't quote him to me. Anyway," she went on. "Mom was running errands and a car drifted into her lane from the opposite direction. The driver hit another car then bounced off and hit my mother. Luckily everyone involved survived, but the woman that hit my mom doesn't have insurance."

"Why doesn't that surprise me," Reid said.

"Right. Anyway, mom will heal, but with her broken leg and the fact that I can't reach my Aunt, I'm thinking of staying here in Pennsylvania until her cast comes off."

"I understand you want to help. Do you want me to talk to Hotch and see if I can stay?"

"Won't he be suspicious," she asked as she played with his hair.

Reid went pink in the cheeks. "Ah, Jen, he knows about us."

She sat up and pulled away from him. "Did you tell him."

"No," Reid squeaked. "He already knew. He called me in Vegas and suggested I come out here."

She looked up into his beautiful eyes and saw that he watched her like she might explode, so she pursed her lips. "Babe, if you want to stay, I'd like it, but the team needs you."

"How about for a few days and then we see how it goes?"

She nodded and curled up to him. "Thank you. I do need you."

They were silent for a long time and content to be in each other's arms and taking comfort from each other, then JJ sat up again and nearly banged her head on Reid's chin. "Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about you meeting mom for the first time."

He turned white and she laughed. "Sorry babe, couldn't resist."

"Well," he decided. "I can't be here to support you and hide from your family, so I'll be fine."

"Good."

"What about your dad?"

"As you know, they're divorced." JJ's hand came up to her chest and fingered her sister's pendant.

"Yes."

"I don't know where dad is, Spence. I haven't talked to him in years. I don't have a number for him, and I don't want to ask mom. I'll keep trying my aunt because she might have a contact number for him. In any case, I don't think my mom would like him at the hospital. They parted badly."

Reid didn't ask for clarification because he understood complicated feelings for one's father. "So, do you think the rest of the team knows about us."

"No, but I think if you stay here, they will put it together. We need to tell them."

"You're right. Actually," Reid's eyes lit up and JJ chuckled at his enthusiasm. "Being here for a while means that Morgan can't tease me."

"Leave it to you to see the distance from the team and Morgan as a bright side."

"What can I say, I'm a genius."

She smacked his arm. "Stop it."

"Seriously. Are you okay?"

"I am and I will be now that you're here. Thank you for coming. I love you."

"I love you too, Jennifer Jareau."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

The comfort and strength Reid had taken with JJ began to fade into the background as he sat on a reasonably comfortable chair in the hospital waiting room. He tried to push his intense dislike of hospitals to the background and concentrate on JJ and her mother. He blew out a breath and thought about trying to read, but although his brain would incorporate the words on the page into his gray matter, he wouldn't enjoy the pleasure he always took from a book.

Reid shifted in his seat and looked at the coffee maker in one corner of the room. His fingers itched to reach out for a cup, but he forced himself not to get up and pour one. He didn't need the twitchy feeling he sometimes experienced from too much caffeine in the morning. He looked at his watch and saw that only ten minutes had passed since he'd separated from JJ.

They had decided that Reid would wait while JJ talked to her mother and determined if she were up for a visit and introduction of him. A part of him hoped that she was because he wanted to get it out of the way, and part of him thought that if she waited for a couple of years, that was okay, too.

What if Sandy Jareau didn't like him? What if she thought his hair was too long, or that he was too annoyingly smart? What if she thought he only wanted JJ for sex or worse what if she thought he wanted to get married, now! Okay, so he thought that at some point he wanted to marry JJ, but not at that precise moment.

"Hey," JJ appeared in the doorway. "You ready?"

"Um, yeah, I guess so," Reid blurted out then felt his face grow warm.

She chuckled at his pink cheeks. "Don't worry, Spence. I've told her all about you. I used to talk more about you than Will. I guess that should've been my first clue, right?"

"Right, well I guess we better go."

Sandy sat up in her bed and Reid winced at the bruises on her face and the cast on her leg. She smiled when he walked toward her and held out her hand. "Mom, Spence doesn't like –"

"It's okay," Reid interrupted and took her hand. "I'm Dr. Spencer Reid, Mrs. Jareau. It's nice to meet you."

"I'm very glad to meet you, Spencer, and please, call me Sandy. I see what you mean, Jennifer, he's cute."

JJ pursed lips against a laugh when Spencer turned and gave her a look. "Sorry, babe, but she's right. He doesn't believe he's attractive, mom."

Sandy grinned and released his hand. "I'm sorry we met under these circumstances. I'm sure you would've wanted more time to prepare, but I'm glad you're here for my girl. She likes to think she's tough, but underneath she's a true softie."

"I know," Reid said as JJ tried to protest. He considered it payback for the "he doesn't believe he's attractive," remark.

"All right," JJ began as Reid and her mom chuckled. "I thought that meeting the parents was supposed to be awkward, you two are entirely too comfortable with each other."

Sandy winked at Reid. "Oh, I'm sure we'll have plenty of awkward moments."

Reid nodded and then went pink again. "I mean, I hope you're wrong."

"See, there's your awkwardness, Jennifer."

They were all quiet for a moment, and then Sandy said. "In all seriousness, I am happy that you're here, Spencer. I hope you don't mind, but Jennifer told me a little of what you just went through and I'm sorry you had to deal with family, then come here."

"It's okay," Reid assured her and gave JJ a warm smile. "Sometimes we don't get the happy ending we want with family."

"You're a wise man, Spencer." After another pause, Sandy said. "Now, tell me what your intentions are with my daughter?"

"Mom!"


	10. Chapter 10

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n we're jumping forward in time. As this is a story about an alternate future for JJ and Reid, I decided not to deal with the episodes that aired during her maternity leave. This picks up just before Cold Comfort. _**

_**A/n there is dialog lifted directly from the episode and I give credit to the writers of CM for it. **_

Reid straightened his new tie and smoothed the sleeves of the suit jacket he'd bought. He'd polished his seldom worn dress shoes, and the store had pressed the pants for him before he'd taken home his purchase. He studied his reflection in the mirror and wondered for the fifth time if he'd gone too far. A knock sounded on his door and he realized that it was too late now.

"Hello, Spence, I –"

JJ stopped her forward motion into the apartment and whistled. "_Damn_, you look hot. When did you go shopping?"

"Yesterday, and you really think so."

"Yes," JJ pushed the door shut with her foot and studied his look. He wore a white shirt with a charcoal gray suit and light gray pinstripes. His tie was blood red with a gold and silver pattern that entwined like snakes and was tucked under a matching vest. His black shoes looked like mirrors and she wondered what pair of mismatched socks he wore. "I like it."

JJ grabbed him and kissed him until he was forced to pull away due to serious breathing issues. "Wow, I've missed you," he said, huskily.

"I've missed you, too. All these weeks without you have been torture."

Reid backed away from her as she began to unbutton her black coat. He reached for something on the entryway table and held out his hand as she revealed her dress. It was a single blood red rose that perfectly matched the scarlet halter dress she wore. "Happy Valentine's Day."

"Oh, Spence, it's gorgeous."

"Not as beautiful as you, Jennifer. Words fail me."

He took in her dress which stopped two inches above her knees. She'd paired it with matching red heels that lifted her five inches off the ground and were composed mostly of straps of fabric, which exposed her toes, painted red to match. Her lips were scarlet, and she wore her golden hair down. He saw that she'd cut it and it framed her face, gorgeously. She wore gold studs in her ears and her eye makeup was smoky and dark. He realized that she didn't wear pantyhose and he began to feel distinctly light-headed at what might be under her clothing.

"God, I want you," He breathed and reached for her.

Her hands cupped his backside as he trailed soft kisses from her mouth to her neck and down to her exposed cleavage. "Spence," she breathed and reached up to tangle her hands in his wavy hair.

She tugged hard and he groaned. "Can't wait."

"Me either," she whispered in his ear then licked his lobe.

"Jennifer!"

He picked her up and her skirt shifted to reveal her red lace panties and he thought he might lose control for the first time in months.

"I'm going to take your panties off with my teeth," he informed her as he carried her to his bedroom.

"God, I hope so. You're wearing too many clothes. Let's see what we can do about that."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"You hungry," Reid asked about an hour later as JJ curled into his left side.

"Starved, actually."

"Good because I took Garcia's advice and learned to use a food service delivery app she loaded on my phone. Accounting for the possibility that we'd make it to bed first, and for normal traffic patterns, weather, and speed, I told them to deliver it in, five, four, three, two, one."

Someone knocked on the door and JJ's mouth fell open as Reid slid from the bed, pulled on his robe and said. "Hold that thought."

She lay back and laughed with delight at his ability to surprise her, and at the brief sight of his amazing body before he tugged on the robe. After a few minutes, she heard him returning and with him the wonderful scents of her favorite gnocchi from Fellini's Restaurant.

"Oh my God, thank you."

"You're welcome. I thought you might like this after your flight."

She reached for the robe she always kept at his place and pulled it on. They ate in bed and talked. She enjoyed the browned butter, broccoli and nuts with her dish, and she stole bites of his cheese and sausage ravioli in fettuccine sauce. He'd got salads, cheese bread and cheesecake with strawberries.

"I'm going to sleep _so_ well after the carbohydrate load and fantastic sex. Thank you, babe."

"You're welcome. I love you and I don't like to see you exhausted and stressed."

She smiled for him. "I'm a little tired, but mom is finally healed. Her cast is off, and she's down to the last two weeks of physical therapy, but she'll be fine. Aunt Becky's there and will take over until her therapy is done."

"Why do you look unhappy," He inquired as he watched her lovely eyes.

She swallowed a bite of cheese bread. "Because Aunt Becky is trying to talk her into bringing a lawsuit against the girl that hit her. Mom doesn't want to, she says we're a litigious society and she doesn't want to contribute to clogging up the courts."

"It's up to her," Reid shrugged. "No one can force her into something she doesn't want to do. I learned that much from staying with _you _for a week."

She grinned at him. "Yeah, mom is independent. She likes you, Spence. She told me after you left that she was glad I'd finally figured out that Will wasn't for me and to take a chance with you. She said that she knew from the way I talked about you that I was in love with you for a long time before I consciously realized it. I'm glad she was right and that we're here."

"Me, too."

They finished their meal, made love again, and held each other until sleep took them to the realm of dreams that might come true.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ woke two days later, to find it snowing. She sighed and pulled on her favorite jeans and a white sweater. She padded out to the kitchen and began to make a cup of tea. As she pulled out her box of oolong, she noticed the ring on her right hand. Spencer had given it to her for Valentine's Day. He'd gone back to Williamsburg and bought what he called a gimmel ring. It was sterling silver with two bands coming together to form clasped hands that opened to reveal a hidden third band with a heart. Spence had said it was traditionally an Irish wedding ring, but that women wore them for many different reasons.

"_Oh, Spence, it's beautiful."_

_He smiled as he removed it from its box. "I know that we're not ready for marriage, but I thought you could wear it as a symbol of love and that I think of you as my best friend. You'll always have my heart no matter where we go." _

She smiled over the memory and the kiss shared with him. She'd wear it every day. Then she sighed and realized that the team would notice the addition, and it was probably time to tell them about her relationship with him.

"Hey," JJ greeted when her man answered the phone.

"Hi, Jennifer. Please don't say we have a case."

"No, but I was thinking about you and looking at the ring you gave me. I don't want to hide it, but if I wear it every day –"

"The others will ask about it," He finished for her. "Yeah, I thought about that when I bought it. I think it's time, Jennifer."

"I agree. Let's tell them tomorrow."

"Okay," He said with a sigh. "It'll give me twenty-four hours to prepare for Morgan's teasing and Garcia's enthusiasm."

She laughed delightedly. "Don't worry, I'll be right there with you."

"True," he said, and she could hear the smile in his voice.

"Okay, well I have tons of errands to do, not to mention laundry. I'll talk to you later."

"You're right, it's time to act like responsible adults and do our chores."

She rolled her eyes and laughed when he said. "I saw that."

"I'm not going to ask," she said.

"Better not. Goodbye, Jennifer."

He hung up on her and she shook her head. His new-found confidence since they'd begun to date filled her with happiness and some annoyance when he turned into a smart-ass every now and then. Morgan better watch his back, she thought and grinned. He might be surprised how Reid reacts to his teasing.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid walked calmly into the break room with his first cup of coffee and his purple scarf over the shoulders of his favorite brown corduroy jacket. "Hey Reid," Garcia greeted. "We need a DOB on Prentiss."

"Ah 7:12 am, October 12th 19-"

"Hey," Emily cut him off.

"Libra, I should've known."

Reid watched as Emily listened to Garcia read her horoscope and from the look on her face, he thought the words hit a bit of a chord. He nearly laughed when Emily gave Garcia the finger. JJ strode in and gave him a look. He nodded and she greeted the occupants of the break room.

"Hey, you guys, ready to gather,"

"Well look at you, Miss Thing, the first day back and you're all business."

"Its either dive right in or, confront my separation anxiety. I know mom is fine, but it was tough to leave her alone after the accident."

Garcia reached out and took JJ's hand. "Oh hey, look at that. It's new right."

"Yes, um, Spence gave it to me."

Reid nodded and stepped forward. He took JJ's hand and squeezed. "I gave it to her three nights ago."

"Wait," Garcia squealed. "You two are engaged."

"Slow down, Pen," JJ said over a laugh and Morgan's congratulations.

"We're not engaged," Reid said. "We are dating."

"But, that is an Irish wedding ring," Emily commented. "It's beautiful."

"It is," JJ said, "And it has a meaning that's between Spence and me."

"Wait," Morgan said held up a hand. "How long?"

"Since New York."

They all fell silent, then Emily picked up the newspaper and left the room. Reid, JJ, and Morgan followed, leaving Garcia with Kevin. "It's about time," Kevin said, and Garcia smirked at him. "Yep. Come on, let's get to work."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid found JJ sitting at a table near one of the huge windows in Quantico's cafeteria. She stared at a green salad and a chunk of cornbread she'd bought but hadn't touched.

"Hey," he said and sat with his coffee cup and a ham and cheese sandwich. "I was looking for you. Everything all right."

She met his soulful and concerned eyes. She never saw judgment in his hazel orbs when he looked at her and she wondered how he could be so gentle and so free of guile.

"I'm okay, just a little irritated with myself."

"Why?"

"Because I let our last case get to me. I don't believe in psychics, but you can't argue with what we saw. We found our victim near a rocky shore, just as he said. He knew about this," JJ held up her hand. "He touched it and said congratulations. Before you say that so-called psychics are hyper-observant and can glean facts from almost nothing, I'll remind you what profilers do."

"Jennifer, that's different –"

"I know," and she shook her head when he smiled at her and he saw a bit of teasing light in her eyes. "The point is that he knew from the letter, where we'd find her. How, Spence?"

"I don't know, Jennifer. There are some scientists that think we all have a sixth sense or psychic abilities that are a throwback to when we needed to be completely aware of our environment and any dangers, an early warning system if you like. We don't need the sense anymore so most of us never develop it."

"What do you think?"

"I believe in profiling, and I believe that there are rare individuals that can see beyond what our eyes show us."

"Rossi let me have it earlier. He told me a story about a psychic on a case that led them in the wrong direction and a boy died."

Reid sighed. "Want me to talk to him."

She gaped at him then she interpreted the expression on his face and laughed. "Funny."

"I get how he feels, but Jennifer, just because he's a skeptic doesn't mean you should be. What you believe is only _your_ business, not Dave's or mine or anyone."

"He said to keep it out of work."

"Well, he may be right only because we have to rely on evidence –"

"And profiling," JJ said with a bit of irritation.

"Gideon said the one weapon we have is a thorough and accurate profile."

"I agree, Spence. All right, I will return to sanity and eat my lunch before Hotch comes looking for us."

Reid let her move on from the topic because calm had returned to her blue eyes and she smiled at him.

"Speaking of Hotch, he's the second reason I came looking for you. He and Rossi had a sit down with Strauss. We can stay on the team if we maintain our professional demeanor."

"She agreed without a fight."

"I wasn't in the room, but reading between the lines, I'd say it didn't take much to convince her. She knows how good we are together."

JJ snorted laughter and Reid rolled his eyes. "You _know_ what I mean."

"Yes, I do," JJ said and touched the ring on her hand.

"Eat your salad. You need your strength."

"Yes, sir."


	11. Chapter 11

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n hey all, we are up to "Pleasure is my Business." Please enjoy and thank you all for your support._ **

Reid tried not to let JJ's eyes distract him as he dealt the second poker hand of the evening. They'd gathered in the conference room at Quantico to blow off a little steam and so far, it was going well for Reid. He ignored Morgan's grin and Emily's cool, dark eyes. Hotch had declined and claimed he had too much paperwork to play poker. Rossi simply sat back and watched Reid deal out the next hand with an amused expression.

"Ante up," Reid said without squeaking which always pleased him.

His teammates made their bets with their agreed upon currency of choice, a huge bag of M and M candies, from Garcia's stash in her office. Garcia didn't play but said she'd join them to cheer for Morgan.

"Take him down, Chocolate Thunder," Garcia encouraged her best friend and secret crush.

"No problem, baby girl." Morgan rumbled in response.

"You think so," Reid argued and glared at Garcia who smirked at him.

"Your head is not in the game, pretty boy."

"Less chatter, more playing," Rossi demanded.

Everyone but Morgan discarded cards and took replacements for their hand. "Cocky," JJ observed.

"Confident," Morgan argued.

"Annoying, both of you," Rossi put in. "Let's bet."

They bet and soon, only JJ, Morgan and Reid were in the game. "Show me," Morgan said to JJ. "I know you're bluffing.

"Full house, twos and Queens." JJ showed her cards, "What did you say about bluffing?"

"Oh," Emily said. "Very nice, JJ."

"Doesn't beat my boat," Morgan presented his eights and aces, the dead man's hand.

Reid pursed his lips, an expression of confusion and irritation on his face, then he smiled and laid down a Royal Flush in hearts. "Sorry," he said and clearly didn't mean it. "Once again, it's nice doing business with you."

Morgan narrowed his eyes. "That's two in a row. Why do I try?"

"More," Reid asked innocently.

"Nope, that's enough for me," Rossi said. "I'm going home to double and a cigar."

"Come on, baby girl," Morgan tugged Garcia to her feet. "Let me buy you a slice of pie at Captain Jack's."

"I think I'll go home and crash," Emily said. "See you later."

Reid had collected the cards and was making them fly through his hands. "How about another game, JJ?"

"I don't think so. I'm in the mood for a nice long soak in the tub and bed."

Reid's eyebrows went up. "Want company?"

"Nope, you should've thought about that before you used your talents to win and don't bother denying it. I know you too, well, Spencer Reid."

She left him sitting alone and after a few minutes of thought, he got to his feet and decided that one night alone wouldn't kill him.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Two weeks had passed since JJ's return to the team and the revelation of their relationship. Reid loved that she had returned to work, but there was something missing, and he couldn't decide what it was. On this morning, a gray and dull March day, he looked out the window at the rainy skies and sipped from a mug of fresh coffee while thinking about their last case and a privileged debutante turned high priced call-girl. She'd affected Hotch in a way that Reid had never seen. Reid sighed and went to his chess board. He was three moves into a new game when his phone beeped.

"Hey," he said happily when JJ's number showed on the caller ID. "Business or pleasure."

"Hm, well it is raining, it's a boring Sunday afternoon and we don't have plans. How did that happen?"

"I'm not sure," Reid said. "I guess we've been trying too hard to play normal after letting the big secret out of the bag, so to speak."

"I hope that doesn't mean we're turning into those people that always work and never spend any time on their relationship."

"I don't think that's possible because we see each other almost every day." Reid pointed out as he made another move in his game.

"You sound distracted. Am I not interesting?"

He grimaced and mentally kicked himself for trying to play and talk at the same time. "Sorry, I'm sitting at my chessboard."

"Would you prefer I leave you two alone," she asked, and he heard the irritation in her voice.

"No! You have my full attention."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Hm, let's test that theory," she purred as his traitor eyes moved back to the board. "Emily told me about your interview with the real-estate madam."

Reid's hand jerked away from the board and he knocked three pieces to the floor. He nearly swore, then he said, as calmly as possible. "Oh."

"Yes. Emily said you had the madam's _complete_ attention, especially when the conversation turned to the possibility that the unsub had been forced to perform certain sex acts against her will. I believe she asked you, "What do you have in _mind_, honey?"

He swallowed hard and remembered that question and the smirk on the madam's face. "It was a necessary inquiry."

"Her question or your question?"

"Mine!" Damn it, he'd squeaked, and JJ would take full advantage.

"Suppose I asked you the same question, babe. What _do _you have in mind?"

He bit his lip and his mind began to spin out of control because he realized that they weren't talking about the case anymore. "Um, why don't you come over here and I'll show you."

"No," JJ said and laughed in a way that made Reid's palms sweat. "I'm entirely comfortable right where I am."

"Jennifer!"

"You sound stressed, babe. What can I do to help you relax?"

"If you won't come to me then I'll go to you," Reid suggested in vain.

"I don't think so, babe. Think of it as retaliation for beating me twice at poker last week and for lying to me about your case in Las Vegas."

"I said I was sorry and the case was months ago."

"No good enough, Spence. Not nearly good enough. I believe in revenge served cold."

"I'll give you a foot massage," He suggested desperately because his control slipped greasily through his gut.

"Hm, that's a start," she said. "Why don't you explain to me in detail how you'll complete that task."

Reid swallowed again and began to talk.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ hurried out into the rain. Despite her assertion that she would _not _see Spence that day, he'd played her game better than she realized and had made her so hot, she couldn't concentrate on simple chores. She'd run to his favorite Indian restaurant and pick up the take out she ordered and then they'd continue the game in person.

Reid, on the other hand, reclined on his sofa, trying to remember how to move. The immense satisfaction of turning the phone sex tables on JJ while achieving his own base pleasure made him smile like a cat after a can of tuna. He decided to take a long nap and then go back to his rudely interrupted game of chess.

Thirty minutes later, someone knocked impatiently at his door and woke him from a very pleasant dream of JJ and more exploits having to do with chocolate sauce and handcuffs. He recognized the knock and smirked. He'd succeeded in getting JJ to his place and now he'd see what she brought as a peace offering.

"Can I help you?" Reid said pleasantly as he opened the door. "Oh, it's you, Jennifer. I thought you were too busy for a visit."

JJ's eyes darkened with irritation and normally, Reid would back away, instead, he leaned against the doorjamb and smirked at her. "Sorry, babe, but I was taking a nap."

"You want to have this conversation in the hallway," she said through her gritted teeth.

He finally noticed that she carried a bag from "Indian Sunset," and his stomach overrode his desire to tease her. "Come in."

"Thank you," she said with exaggerated politeness.

"Should I beware blond FBI agents bearing gifts?" He asked, flippantly.

"Yes!"

He helped her set up the food and the fragrant odors of his favorite dishes made him inhale deeply. "You know what I like. Thank you." He tried to kiss her, but she ducked away. "Later," she said and made him grin.

"You are not funny, Spence."

"You're the one that tried to torture me needlessly, Jen. What did you expect me to do?"

She stopped in the act of plating up his favorite chicken curry. "Honestly, I'm not sure what I expected. You've become so confident and I forgot you're not the same person you were a year ago."

"Is that a problem?"

"No," she reached out and tugged him back as he turned away from her. "I love that you have more confidence. I love you and I want you to be happy in your skin."

"I want that for you too," he said and kissed her.

"Good, because you're stuck with me."

"I'm glad," he said and reached for food.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Later, after dinner and some after meal fun on the couch and then in Reid's bed, he stroked her face as she curled into him. "Jennifer."

"Oh, I know that tone. What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure. I was looking out at the rain before you called and feeling like I missed something extremely important. Now that you're here, I think I know what it is?"

She sat up and her eyes watched him carefully. "You're scaring me."

"I'm sorry, but I wanted to ask you a huge favor."

"What," she asked as she played with her gimmel ring.

"I want us to move in together. I don't want to sleep alone anymore."

She studied him quietly as he watched her with what she labeled his puppy dog look. He never failed to extract anything from her when looking at her with such an expression. "It's not fair when you look at me like that?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

JJ sighed and curled up to his chest so she didn't have to look him in the eyes. "Babe, are you sure you want to take such a big step?"

"Yes."

"I admit that I thought about it. I missed you when I was in Pennsylvania. I think I drove my mother crazy talking about you and how wonderful you are."

"Jennifer!"

She sat up again and put her hands to his face. "You are wonderful, Spencer Reid. I love you because you're always there for me. You support me in whatever I need or want for my life. You let me be me. You don't try to change me or demand that I'm something I'm not. I'll love you forever because you let me be Jennifer Jareau, FBI agent, friend, daughter, lover, and imperfect human being."

Reid's eyes began to shine with emotion. "Well said, Jennifer. You are all of that and more to me. That's why I want to take the next step with you. I know you said you don't want to marry and have kids, and if all you want is me, then I'm fine with that."

JJ blew out a breath. "It's true that I'm not ready to get married but being with you makes me feel that anything is possible, even a baby genius someday."

"Jennifer, statistics show that genii have the same chance of producing gifted offspring as any so-called normal human. However, I believe that environment plays a part as well. If a child has gifted parents they more likely to supplement the education of a child at home. I had some of that before my dad left, but mostly I was an autodidact and spent the majority of my time begging the teachers for extra work or in the library."

She nodded and lay her head on his shoulder. "Do you hope that your child won't inherit your mind?"

"Yes," he said without hesitation. "If he or she were born with my level of intelligence, I would do everything to ensure that child doesn't grow up as I did."

"Agreed," JJ said. "I'd never let that happen, babe."

"I know you wouldn't," Reid said. "So, what do you think about my suggestion that we cohabitate?"

JJ giggled and reached for his right hand. "Yes, Spencer Reid, I will cohabitate with you."

Reid kissed her and for a while didn't think about their new dynamic. It was enough just to be together."


	12. Chapter 12

**_Disclaimer: please see my profile_**

**_A/n we're skipping through time again to "Conflicted," which is on my list of favorite CM episodes. Thank you all again for your kind support of this story. Also, a huge thanks to my faithful beta, REIDFANATIC, for helping me to present the best product I can for your consideration. Please enjoy. _**

JJ decided that she loved living in the same space with Spence. They'd found a small rental home in McLean, or rather, Garcia had found it for them. The house contained two bedrooms and two bathrooms with a large living area and a kitchen with a tiny breakfast nook. It was located between two other homes and had a small backyard and a carport. So far, their neighbors seemed normal and nice, but it was early days. On this day the sun shone brightly after a week of rain, and flowers were beginning to raise their heads from the soil and the grass was so green, it looked like someone had just planted brand new sod.

"Hey, Jennifer."

JJ turned from preparing a cup of tea to find Spencer in the doorway. He still wore a pair of windowpane blue, grey and white boxers, a white tee-shirt and bare feet. His hair was mussed, and his eyes were still at half-mast. "You making coffee?" he asked, hopefully.

"Nope, I'm making green tea. You want some."

Reid frowned and JJ forced her face into a neutral expression. "No, I need coffee."

"If you'd get more than five hours sleep, you'd function better without it."

"I couldn't sleep. I keep thinking about Hotch and the Reaper and that he has Morgan's creds. What's he going to do with them?"

JJ went to him and slipped her arms around his waist. "Babe, you can't let George Foyet dominate your every waking thought. If you do, then he wins."

Reid blew out a breath. "I know you're right. I just don't know how to close my eyes and see only pleasant thoughts.{"

JJ leaned up and whispered something in his ear that made his cheeks turn pink. "Um, that might work, actually."

JJ rolled her eyes and smacked his chest. "Come on, let's have breakfast and then we'll go for a run."

"Do we have to?" Reid complained.

"Yes, because it's good for you."

"I'll run with you if you –"

It was JJ's turn to go very pink in the cheeks when Reid whispered his request in her ear.

"Is that all you think about, Spence?"

Reid tugged both hands through his hair. "I'd challenge you to a game of chess, but you shoot me down every time I offer to teach you."

JJ shrugged. "I don't get the appeal. Why don't I help you arrange your books?" JJ gestured to the living area and the half-emptied boxes that were stacked in one corner despite the passage of three weeks since their move.

"Why do you insist on threatening me?" Reid asked.

"Funny," JJ responded. "Come on, the sooner we run the sooner you can spend the rest of the day in front of the chessboard."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"Don't look so happy," JJ said as they stepped off the elevator an hour later. "The case only delays our run, Spence."

Reid frowned and managed to look adorable in a gray sweater over a light blue shirt with tiny white dots, and a blue tie with slacks, shoes and his usual mismatched socks. "Again, why do you insist on threatening me."

"Hey," Morgan greeted them in the bullpen. "I was enjoying the game, JJ."

"Sorry, Hotch called me on this one."

They gathered in the conference room with Garcia, Hotch, Emily, and Rossi. JJ began her presentation regarding two men raped and killed in South Padre Island. They went through the case at a high-level and decided that they needed to get to Texas as soon as possible because Spring Break would end in a few days.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"Jennifer," Reid said as he sat with her on the small balcony outside her hotel room. "Did you go to Spring Break when you were in college?"

JJ nodded. "Yeah, I went to South Beach when I was a senior. My friends and I decided to go down before graduation and joining the real world, as we called it. I thought it'd be fun, and it was, but it was also a bit of a bore after the first day. I woke up after partying until about three in the morning to find myself with a hangover that nearly killed me, my best friend Megan's on the floor, passed out and my friend Toni was gone."

"Toni, you went to Spring Break with a man?" Reid squeaked.

"No. Toni's short for Antonia. Her parents thought the name was elegant. Toni hated it. We didn't find her for two days, and when we did, she was in the hospital because a guy she met, beat her up when she said no to sex."

"Did he rape her?" Reid asked. "Sorry, didn't mean to blurt it out like that, but with this case –"

"You wonder if I'm all right."

"Yes."

"No," JJ said. "I mean, no, he didn't rape her, but only because another man intervened and saved her. In fact, Toni eventually married him. Garth's amazing. He reminds me of you, a bit. He's kind, but strong when needed, gentle, cute and smart. He's an oncology specialist."

"So, are you all right?"

"Yes, I am," JJ said firmly. "I'd be lying if I said I don't hate guys that think they own women, but I'm okay and I'll do my job."

"I know," Reid said and reached over to clasp her hand. "You're a strong woman, Jennifer Jareau. You never cease to impress and amaze me."

"Thank you, Spence. Your opinion means the world to me."

They were quiet together for several minutes. JJ looked over the entryway to the hotel and saw several young people going in and out and making as much noise as possible. Fortunately, they'd got rooms on the highest level away from most of the noise, but she was happy she always packed a pair of earplugs.

"Spence."

"Hm…"

"Did you go away for Spring Break?"

"Ah, no I was thirteen that year."

"Oh right, of course. I can't believe I didn't think before I spoke. I'm sorry, babe."

"Don't edit your words around me, Jennifer. It's natural to think of college and Spring Break."

"This must seem so pedestrian to you," she observed.

"Not really. I've always thought that Spring Break is the modern-day equivalent of Roman Circuses. They consumed huge quantities of alcohol and had chariot races, athletic contests, religious ceremonies, plays, recitals, animal hunts, gladiator fights, and public feasts. The men spent most of their time cheering on the bloodier aspect of entertainment, attempting to attract as many sexual partners as possible."

"Sounds like this place," she said with a long sigh.

"Yes, it does, but to answer your original question, I didn't attend Spring Break festivities. I was attending Cal Tech at the time and staying with my Aunt Ethel and Uncle Kevin. They decided to take me to Disney Land under the assumption that I'd enjoy all the rides. I hated all the teenagers roaming the place. It reminded me of high school."

"You don't have to talk about it."

"Thanks, but it was part of my college experience, I suppose. When I was over twenty-one, I had multiple degrees and was trying to decide what to do with them. During Spring Break that year, I came up to DC and sat in on a seminar about criminal profiling. Guess who was the keynote speaker?"

"Gideon?"

"Yeah. I was fascinated and after class, I cornered him and questioned him until he invited me to Quantico to see more and here I am."

"Spence. You never talk about him anymore. I know this is a probably a dumb question, but do you miss him, still?"

"Yeah," he admitted. "I wish he'd contact me so I know he's okay, but I know he won't because the goodbye in his letter was his last."

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do and honestly I prefer it that way."

She didn't push the point and they sat in comfortable silenc until Reid said. "Hey, it's getting late. I know you're tired."

Let's go inside. I'm past the point of simple tiredness and moving toward exhaustion."

"If you promise to stay with me. I know we got separate rooms for the sake of keeping it professional, but I'd like you here with me, Spence."

Reid stood and held out his hand. JJ was trying to make him feel better and he appreciated it. This one time, he let her think that she fooled him. "No funny stuff," he lightly teased.

"I thought that was my line," JJ said with a grin.

"Why? I am nothing but a gentleman when it comes to sharing a bed with you."

"Ha," JJ laughed. "It's your goal in life to get me out of my pajamas."

Reid pursed his lips and held out a hand. "Come inside and I'll show you that I am perfectly capable of acting like an adult and spending a completely chaste night with you."

"Hm, that'll be nice for a change," JJ teased and yelped when he swatted her backside. "Behave, or I'll toss you out."

"I promise to be good," Reid said seriously and kissed her.

"I'll hold you to your word, Spence."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ turned over when Spencer entered their bedroom, six days later. "Hey," she yawned as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"Go back to sleep," he whispered. "I'm sorry I woke you."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine.

She didn't go back to sleep. Instead, she waited for him to slip into the bed beside her. She snuggled up to him and smiled when his arms held her close. "You sure you're okay."

"No, but I couldn't stay any longer. Amanda refuses to relinquish control over Adam. I argued, bribed and tried to trick her, but –"

"Amanda's not stronger or smarter than you, Spence. Sometimes we can't save everyone."

"Morgan said much the same thing to me after we arrested Amanda. He was right when he told me that there was no way I could've stopped Amanda before she won the battle, but I'm having a tough time accepting it."

"Babe, one of the things I love about you is your infinite compassion for victims and the ones that brutalize them. I wish that compassion didn't take such a toll on you."

"Adam asked me if I'd seen bad things. I told him that I had, and he asked how long before you close your eyes without it being there and I said I still don't know."

JJ kissed him and he hugged her so tightly, it hurt, but she didn't squirm and finally sleep relaxed his muscles and she repositioned her head on his chest. The sound of his steady heartbeat helped her sleep, for a while.


	13. Chapter 13

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n this episode is set during and just after "Amplification." I've used exact dialog from the episode and give the credit and ownership of this writing to CM and the show's writers_**.

JJ's phone rang a five am, startling her out of light sleep and dreams about a tea party with Spence, Emily and a spotted leopard that could talk. She shook her head to try and shake the weirdness of the dream from her brain and picked up her cell.

"Agent Jareau."

"JJ," said Hotch's voice. "We've got a situation. I need you here now!"

"Okay, but –"

She found herself talking to dead air and sighed. Hotch was only that abrupt when something big was going down, like child abduction. She flicked on her lamp and turned to look at Spencer, who slept peacefully. Should she wake him, or wait until she knew details? She decided to wait and hurried to their second bathroom down the hall for a shower. She rushed through her morning routine, made tea and left Spencer a note.

_Hey Babe,_

_I'm going into the office. We have something and Hotch is playing tightlipped. Don't worry until I call you. Love you._

_Jennifer. _

She hurried out into the early morning with her tea in one hand and her bag in the other. Perhaps they could spend some time at a B and B that weekend. Spence looked so tired these days and she was feeling the strain after the move and after several tough cases. She smiled as she pulled out of the driveway and decided she'd trust Garcia to find them the perfect location within driving distance.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid woke an hour later to find JJ gone. "Jen," he called out but knew in his heart that the small rental house was empty of her presence. He sighed and got up to take a shower and make coffee. When he entered the kitchen, he found her note and his travel mug filled with tea instead of coffee. He shook his head and decided to drink it. He looked in the fridge and found the remains of a coffee cake JJ had bought from his favorite café. He was about to enjoy it when his phone beeped. "Hey, Jen," he answered happily. "Missed you this morning."

"Me too. Um, Spence, we have a case. You should get here fast and don't worry about your go-bag."

"You sound – stressed. What's wrong?"

"Can't say on the phone. Just get here quick. Gotta call the others."

"All right, I'll see you in a while."

"Love you, bye."

"Love you too."

He stared at the phone because she never said, "I love you," when she could be overheard at work. The slight tremor in her voice put the hair up on the back of his neck.

"What's wrong," he asked the empty kitchen, then he hurried to grab his shoes and messenger bag.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"It must be local. JJ said not to bring my go bag." Reid said and nearly halted when he saw military personnel crawling all over the BAU.

"What the hell's going on," Emily said, and she followed behind Morgan.

Reid wondered the same until they gathered in the conference room and were introduced to Dr. Linda Kimura.

_Anthrax._

It was no wonder that JJ had sounded so off. He felt his heart rate jump at the thought of an incurable strain. The conversation turned to mass targets, and whether to alert the media, then again to working with the military at Fort Detrick and General Whitworth. The scientist in him cheered at his assignment to work with Dr. Kimura, but then it became all too real when they passed around doses of Cipro and water.

_It won't protect us!_

He decided not to voice this concern and took the dose. This strain didn't appear to spread with contact but was airborne, so he didn't have to worry. He tried to meet JJ's gaze. but she refused eye contact. He supposed that it was just as well. They'd managed to keep their relationship professional and the threat of Anthrax wouldn't change their resolve.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"Do you have those files I needed," Reid inquired as he rushed into JJ's office.

"Did you see this memo? Office emails and calls are being monitored."

"Yeah, they're trying to protect the media blackout. Files?"

"Oh yeah right here."

He reached for the files she indicated and began to peruse them. "Thanks. I want to see what kind of medical treatment the victims received before I head to the hospital."

"Spence, slow down."

She came around her desk and shut the door. "Babe. Please promise me you'll be careful."

"I will." He said and leaned down for a quick kiss despite the open blinds to JJ's office.

"I don't want to lose you." She said as tears filled her eyes.

"You won't. I'll be careful. I have to go, Jen, Dr. Kimura's waiting."

"I know, but Spence, I – "

"I'll call you from the hospital."

"Spence."

"What?"

"I love you."

"Love you too. Bye."

He opened her office door and he was gone. She went back to her chair and stared at the photograph she kept of them together at Williamsburg. They'd found a small home that gave tours and cooking demonstrations of seventeenth-century delicacies. They'd had a chance to try the scrambled eggs and tomatoes. They'd watched the costumed cook prepare the dish after peeling tomatoes, blanching them in hot water, then dice them. The cook had begun with onions and butter, then the tomatoes and two eggs which she scrambled together. After adding salt, it was delicious, and Spence had said that he was going to make it at home.

All of this flew through her mind as she thought about his working with infected patients, then her phone rang, and it was time to get back to business. General Whitworth was on his way in and she had to make sure he got through security.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCM

He'd promised her he'd stay safe, was Reid's first thought as he entered Dr. Nichols house, and found his body on the floor, and then he'd noticed the broken vial of white powder. He froze, then realized that it was already too late as the air conditioning was blasting out air cold enough to make in a shiver. He swallowed hard and noticed dead animals in cages and his heart began to slam in his chest.

"No," he said to himself, he'd walked right into the waiting arms of death. How could he be so incredibly blind and stupid?

"Reid," He heard Morgan calling to him, and his friend was much too close. "Reid."

He hurried to the door and closed it before Morgan could enter. "Morgan, Get – get back."

"Reid."

"Get out of here!" Reid held the door shut and began to work the lock.

"What's wrong."

"Believe me, _get_ back."

He finally made his shaking hands turn the lock and it shot home with a click that was like the clang of bells in a churchyard cemetery.

Morgan's face changed from irritation to disbelief as Reid said, "I'm sorry," and looked over his shoulder.

Morgan followed his gaze and Reid knew he saw the Anthrax on the floor. "I didn't pay attention," he said through the door.

"Doesn't matter. I'm calling Hotch."

Morgan backed away and flipped out his phone. He ignored Reid telling him that it was too late, that he was already infected as he put in the call to Hotch.

Reid was impressed by how quickly the General's team appeared. He watched them do their job and he talked to Hotch and Morgan. They all thought he should go to the hospital, but what good would it do him to put on a hazmat suit or go in for treatment? He knew that General Whitworth's suggestion that Dr. Brown created a cure and that Reid look for it, irritated Morgan and Hotch, but then Hotch told him to keep working. Reid decided at that moment that he never wanted to be the boss.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ hid in Garcia's office, but couldn't ignore that her friend was looking at samples of the disease on her monitors. JJ wanted to throw something at them, to shatter the glass and with it the pain in her heart that clogged in her throat and stung her eyes with tears.

"JJ, this thing killed the first three victims within two hours."

"Garcia, stop. Please, I – I can't think about it that way. He took Cipro. He's got help. He's going to be fine.

_Oh god, please let it be true. Please let him be fine because I can't live without him. _

"I don't know how to do this. Every time you guys go away and you're in all kinds of ginormous danger and all I can do is sit here in my bubble and I hope, and I pray, and I will my babies to come back to me. I try to stay positive, but I don't know how to do this."

"Neither do I," JJ said, and she broke down. Garcia sprang to her feet and engulfed her in a hug. "I'm sorry, Peaches. I didn't mean to scare you. I'm selfish."

JJ gently pushed her away. "You're the most unselfish person I know. I'm so frightened. What if he dies?"

"He won't die. You're going to find the cure. He'll be fine and someday soon, you'll have a blond baby genius running around."

JJ laughed through her tears. "Don't let him hear you say that?"

"Why you don't think – no, now is not the time. Come on, let's find this sick bastard and then we'll talk about it."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid looked around the room and decided that while he waited for Dr. Kimura to come into the house, he would call Garcia.

"Hey, Reid."

"Wow, no witty Garcia greeting for me."

"I can't be my sparkly self when you are where you are."

"Garcia, do you think you can do something for me."

"Anything."

"Listen, I can't call my mom without alerting everyone at Bennington."

"What do you need.

"I need you to record a message to her in case something happens to me."

"Nothing is going to happen to you. You're going to brilliantly find out who did this and we're going to treat this strain."

"I hope you're right, but if you're not, I really want to make sure that she hears my voice."

He waited for Garcia to tell him to go and then he said the only thing that he felt she needed to know for certain, something he thought she probably doubted because he committed her all those years ago. He told her he was proud to be her son.

"Reid?"

"Garcia, one more thing. Please be there for JJ. I love her. Tell her that. Tell her I've always loved her." He heard Dr. Kimura's voice. "I gotta go."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ strode into Walter Reed the next morning intent on kicking Morgan out of Reid's room. She'd had to keep it together until they'd finished with the aftermath of the case. She'd had to deal with the media backlash and with the paperwork. Now, she couldn't keep her cool any longer and had to see Spence after Hotch had told her that they'd found the cure and the man she loved was awake and on the mend.

Morgan was talking to Spence when she arrived, and they were arguing about Morgan stealing his Jello. JJ smiled for the first time in two days as she walked into the room. "Hey, you still faking, Spence?"

"Hi JJ."

"I'll leave you two lovebirds alone," Morgan said and winked at JJ. "The doc's been in to see him and he's doing great."

"Good," she said. "Then you can get out of that bed and get to the stack of files on your desk."

"I don't feel that well," Reid complained.

JJ sat down and looked at her love. He sported a few days growth of beard, his long wavy hair was mussed and he wore a hospital gown, but he was a sight for her eyes to feast on, nonetheless.

"You look like hell," JJ teased as she took his hand and clenched it so tight, he hissed.

"Do I?"

"Yes."

"I feel like I nearly died from a weaponized strain of Anthrax," Reid said without missing a beat.

"That's funny. Damn it," she said, and she began to cry. "You scared the hell out of me. What were you thinking?"

"I'm sorry, Jen. I didn't think."

"That's obvious. I love you. I can't imagine living the rest of my life without you. Do you understand me."

"Yes, but I'm an agent just like you. I need to do my job."

"I get that," she hissed. "You need to understand that you're not alone anymore, Spence. I'm here and I love you more than anyone in my life. I need you."

"I _am_ sorry, Jennifer. I love you, too."

She leaned in and kissed him. "I was so worried about you. I thought I'd never see you alive again."

"I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you require."

"You don't have to spend the rest of your life making it up to me, Spence. Please promise me that you'll take care. If anything ever happened to you, I couldn't live."

"I will be careful, Jennifer, I promise."

He noticed that JJ studied him with an expression he recognized and he blew out an anxious breath. "What are you planning," he asked, cautiously.

"I was thinking that when you're out of here, you could agree to a nice, long weekend at this cute little B and B Garcia found for us. It's an hour north of here and it looks very romantic."

"I thought you were furious with me and now you're asking me to go on a romantic weekend with you."

JJ lightly smacked his hand. "Don't make me regret asking."

Reid pursed his lips and decided it was time to speak his mind. He took her hand and squeezed it tight.

"What are you thinking?" JJ asked and her voice trembled a little.

"I was wondering if we might postpone the B an B for a little while."

"Why?"

"Because I had some time to think after I realized that I might not make it out of this, and I decided that I'm done living in fear and taking you for granted. "I love you, Jennifer. Will you marry me?"


	14. Chapter 14

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n thanks again to all my loyal readers and especially to those who review as a guest. All feedback is appreciated. Please enjoy the next chapter. _**

JJ watched white clouds grow ever closer to the underside of their aircraft as it descended into McCarran International Airport in Las Vegas. The sky was so blue, it almost hurt her eyes to look at it and she didn't know if she were ready to face what Morgan had once dubbed, "The grown folk's playground."

"Hey," she turned her head to see Spence smiling at her. He reached over and took her hand. "You okay?"

"Just thinking, that's all."

"I thought I was the one that lived in my head," Reid lightly teased.

"True," she agreed and squeezed his hand. "I was wondering if I'm ready to meet your mom again, now that we're engaged."

"Okay, I get that you're nervous, but it's going to be okay. Bennington is a great environment and –"

"Hey, I'm not afraid of going to a mental health institution, Spence. I've read everything I can on your mother's condition, and I'd like to think that the job has prepped me to handle most situations."

"What is it?" He inquired.

"What if your mom doesn't like me, or what if she remembers me from last time. I wasn't very friendly to her."

"Jen, you barely had time to meet her before the case ended and I had to bring her back here. Mom is going to love you."

"Don't you think we're springing too much on her," she asked. "She meets me and learns that we're engaged."

"She can handle it, Jennifer. Her condition is stable, and I've already written to her about you and our engagement."

"Of course, I don't know why I forget that you write to her every night."

"Don't worry about it. It's like part of your routine now, to see me write to her."

"Routine," she laughed, then smirked when a woman across the aisle looked over at them. "Guess that's what we're in now."

"There is nothing routine about us," he whispered.

"We better keep it down. I'm so used to the jet, and everyone talking and laughing."

"Yeah, it's not as comfortable as the jet," he complained. "I need more leg room."

She shook her head and giggled softly. "Well, if I had your long legs, I'd complain, too."

"Feel better," he asked after another minute in silence.

"Yes, as usual, you know how to pull me out self-doubt."

"Good, because we're about to land."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid clung to JJ's hand as they hurried out of the Vegas sunshine and into the cool world of Bennington Hospital. He felt his new fiancé squeeze his hand and he turned to see her smiling up at him and her lovely eyes gave him enough strength to smile back at her.

"Dr. Reid," greeted Diana's nurse Marcie. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, um, this is my fiancé, Jennifer Jareau. Is mom having a good day?"

"Yes, and it's nice to meet you, Jennifer. I'm Marcie."

"It's nice to meet you, Marcie." JJ shook hands with the nurse, who stood no more than five three but radiated an authority that made JJ think her patients must respect her position. The nurse wore pink scrubs, white running shoes and her dark hair in a ponytail. Her green eyes smiled at the couple as she led them down the hallway to the common room.

"She's writing in her journal, but she knows you're on your way to see her, Dr. Reid."

"Thank you."

The group entered the common room and he spotted his mother dressed in a simple blue dress with a white sweater sitting at a table with a small book open and writing furiously. JJ squeezed his hand again and they walked forward.

"Hi Mom," Reid said quietly.

"Oh, Spencer. There you are. I've been waiting for you."

He leaned done to hug and kiss his mother's cheek. "Mom, remember I said I was bringing someone to meet you."

Dianna Reid looked at JJ and something stirred in her eyes. "Yes, I remember you, Jennifer. How are you, my dear?"

"I'm fine, Mrs. Reid. It's good to see you again."

"Please, call me Dianna."

"Thank you, Dianna, I'd be honored."

"Why don't you sit down. I don't like to talk to people standing over me."

Reid and JJ took chairs at the table with Dianna. "How are you, Mom."

"I'm fine, son. I'm happy you're here."

"Me too."

Dianna faced JJ after a moment of silence. "Jennifer, I'd like to ask you a question and I want you to be honest with me."

"Of course, Dianna."

"I know everything about you that my son has shared in his letters, but there is one question that's nagged me for about three years, and Spencer won't elaborate."

"Mom!"

"Hush, Spencer. Jennifer can speak for herself. Why did you agree to go to a football game with my son, when he thought it was a date? You invited another person along without telling him until it was too late. I don't see that as the actions of a trustworthy young woman."

"Dianna, I invited Garcia because I thought all the youngest members of the team could go have a good time. It never crossed my mind that Spence thought it was a date until I'd asked Garcia to go with us."

"What did you think he'd assume, Jennifer. You knew he had a crush on you."

"Mom!"

"Yes, I did know," JJ answered honestly.

"I assume you knew that Spencer hates football because of what happened to him as a child."

"You knew about that," Reid asked in disbelief. "I never told you."

"You think I didn't know my son," Dianna said. "I heard you talking in your sleep and I put it together. I went to see your Principal, but he said there was nothing to be done. The kids on the team would back each other up, and unless there was proof or a witness – well, I got the impression he thought it was boys will be boys. I should've done more to protect you, son. I'm sorry."

"Dianna, Spence did tell me shortly after we began to date. I was – am, outraged by it. I'm glad Spencer chose to forgive me for what I did."

Dianna studied them as they held hands and then she smiled. "I know you've proven yourself to my son. He loves you and you make him happy. I can't ask for more than that in a future daughter-in-law."

"Thank you, Dianna. You'll never know what that means to me."

"I only wanted one child, but if I'd had a daughter, I'd want her to be like you. You're kind, strong, intelligent and unselfish with your time and caring for others. I'm happy Spencer found you."

"I'm glad I found him, Dianna. I love him more than my life. He's an amazing man, who's strong yet, gentle. I believe he gets it from you."

"Thank you, my dear, but I'm just a mentally unwell woman who loves her son."

"There are plenty of mentally well women who don't give a damn about their kids," JJ said.

"True," Dianna agreed. "I'm sure that's not the case for you. Spencer told me about what happened to your mother, Jennifer. I hope she's well."

"Yes, she's fine, thank you for asking."

"Good. Spencer had nothing but great things to say about her."

JJ glanced at Spencer and saw his face was a bit pink in the cheeks. She winked at him and he smiled. "Mom, we're going to be here for another two days. Is there anything I can bring you?"

"I'm almost finished with this journal. A new one would be nice."

"I'll take care of it."

"Now, the weather seems to be holding. Why don't we go outside for a bit?"

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ found Reid snoozing on the couch in their living room. She grinned at the peaceful expression on his dear face. He reminded her of a little boy when he slept, and it made her heart beat painfully in her chest because he hadn't had a so-called normal childhood.

_Neither did you!_

"Spence."

He jerked and opened his eyes. He blinked, rubbed his face and sat up. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, babe. I wanted to talk to you for a minute."

He looked expectantly up at her with eyes that saw everything. She sat and took one of his hands. "I have an idea I'd like to propose."

"Okay."

"When you asked me to marry you, I was surprised. We'd moved into a new place and I was happy with the status quo. You said that you didn't want to waste time and that we need to seize our days together because it could all end in an instant. I agree with you which is why I want us to get married, here, tomorrow."

He stared at her like a statue of some beautifully carved angel. After a minute he blinked and squeezed her hands. "Jennifer. I want to marry you, more than anything, but what about your mom and the team and – "

"Spence. The team is our family, but we can always have a big party when we get home. As for my mother, she'll understand. I want to do this so your mom can attend. She deserves it."

"No," His mouth firmed up in determination. "I'm going to call your mom. I never asked her permission to marry you and it's the least I can do to fly her in for the wedding."

"Are you sure you want to do that."

"Yes."

"Thank you, babe. I'm sure she'd love to talk to you."

He hurried out of the room and JJ picked up her phone. She dialed a number and said. "It's a go."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ nearly burst out laughing at the expression on Reid's face when she walked into the Chapel of Eternal Love, with their respective mothers. The décor was standard Las Vegas tacky with pastel colors and copies of famous paintings depicting old romantic vistas on the walls. The entryway held two large, urn style vases with pink roses and carnations. The carpet was gold with pink accents and had several chairs and two sofas covered in pink velvet situated at both sides of the room. Double doors face them, and JJ assumed they led to the chapel. Still, she doubted it was the décor that had Reid resembling a statue, again. The team stood together and had turned as one to see them enter.

"Sweetcheeks." Garcia hurried over and hugged him tightly. "Happy Wedding Day."

A couple occupying one of the sofas watched them in surprised amusement. Another couple stood as a man entered the room and motioned to them. They hurried away and Reid suddenly felt nerves tug at his gut. He was about to get married and it was happening so fast, he didn't have time to think.

"Only you would embrace the Las Vegas cliché," Rossi said, and then hugged him and kissed his cheeks.

"Guys, this was JJ's idea."

"Was it?" Emily said in surprise.

"Way to go, Blondie," Morgan put in as he went to Reid and gave him a backslapping hug.

"Congratulations," Hotch said. "You guys never fail to surprise."

"Yes, because we wanted Dianna to attend," JJ answered Emily's question. "Thank you, Hotch and watch it, Derek, I still have my gun."

They all seemed to notice the mothers at the same time. "Hello," Sandy Jareau greeted. "I'm so glad to meet you all. Jennifer talks about you all the time."

"Guys, this is my mom, Sandy Jareau. Mom, this is Derek Morgan, Emily Prentiss, David Rossi, Aaron Hotchner, and Penelope Garcia."

JJ then indicated Dianna Reid. "I think Morgan, Garcia, and Hotch have met Dianna. Dianna, this is Dave Rossi and Emily Prentiss."

"It's lovely to meet you. Spencer writes about you in all his letters. I remember you," Dianna said to Hotch. You're the technical analyst, yes," Dianna asked Garcia.

"I am," Garcia said. "Please call me Penelope."

"I will, thank you."

Dianna faced Morgan. "You're the one my son thinks of as a substitute older brother."

"Mom!"

"If he does, then I'm honored, ma'am."

"Folks, are we ready," said a tall man who'd come into the room behind them.

"Yes," they all said together.

JJ drew Rossi aside. "I didn't get a chance to ask, but would you step in for my dad and walk me down the aisle."

"I'd be honored, Jennifer."

"This is it," JJ said to Reid and they followed their family through the double doors.


	15. Chapter 15

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n thank you all once again for your kind support, and all those who've commented or add this to your favorites. Please enjoy. _**

Reid awoke to find that he slept in a pool of sunshine. He blinked, sighed and tightened his arms around his new wife. He took in the beautiful sight of her golden hair splayed over his chest. It felt like silk on his skin and she smelled like roses and vanilla. He closed his eyes again and replayed the scene of their wedding. His mother-in-law had brought her wedding dress for JJ to wear and it had been lovely on the bride. She'd reminded him of an old-time princess in a fairy tale with her hair up and her eyes only for him. They'd repeated their vows and promised each other to always love and care for one another and he meant to begin that day.

He slipped carefully away from his bride and pulled on pajama bottoms and an old white tee-shirt. He went to the living area and picked up the phone to order breakfast for them after noticing the time was eight am. He made a second phone call and then the third call to check in on his mother.

"Hey," JJ said as he finished his third call.

He turned to see her looking adorable in the shirt he'd worn for their wedding and nothing else. Her pretty legs were on display and her eyes were sleepy and seductive. "Hey," he said and tugged her forward for a kiss.

"Mmm," she sighed and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Come back to bed, husband."

"I'd love to, but I need to talk to you for a minute."

"Spence," she pouted. "Talk is _extremely_ overrated for us. We're newlyweds and I want to ravish my husband."

"Jennifer," he growled. "You're killing me."

"That's the idea."

He allowed her to lead him back to the bedroom and remove his tee-shirt before a knock sounded at the door, "Room Service," said a female voice.

"Damn it, I forgot," he cursed and reached for his shirt. "Be right back."

"Spence," JJ called, but he hurried to the door, while he tugged his shirt back over his head.

Unfortunately, trying to walk and dress at the same time resulted in him tripping over his feet and nearly taking a header into the hallway wall. He cursed under his breath and righted himself, then realized that he stood in the living area in bare feet with only pajama bottoms and a tee-shirt. He looked back at their room and a second knock sounded at the door with another. "Room Service."

He shrugged and hurried to the door. A young woman wearing black pants, a white shirt and a blue vest with the name of the hotel written in gold across the back smiled at him and pushed in a trolley with delicious smelling food. Reid noticed a silver bucket filled with ice and a bottle of what he supposed to be champagne. "I didn't order the alcohol," he informed the woman, then noticed her name tag said. "Denise."

"Yes sir, it's compliments of the management, along with strawberries and chocolate. Enjoy."

He thought about arguing but figured Denise only did her job. "Thank you," he said and tipped her.

"You're welcome, sir. Please enjoy and call us when you're ready for pickup."

He was about to lift the cover from the food when JJ entered, still wearing only his shirt. He sighed and began to wonder what would win out, his grumbling stomach or his hormones. She smirked at him and he decided he didn't like the knowing gleam in her eyes. "I'm hungry," he said, firmly.

She raised her eyebrows, then shrugged. "Well, it is hot, and it smells fantastic."

"The management sent up strawberries, chocolate, and champagne."

"Oh, then why don't we enjoy them in bed."

"After my eggs and bacon," he said and grinned at her.

"Fine, I guess I should allow you fuel if we're going to continue certain activities. I wouldn't want your stamina to falter."

He sighed and shook his head. "Actually, men in their twenties –"

"No," she sashayed up to him and put a finger to his lips. "Less odd statistics and more eating. Then you can demonstrate your – knowledge."

"Whatever you say."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid grabbed the last strawberry and dipped in more chocolate. "Hey," JJ pouted after a sip of champagne. "I wanted that."

"I know, which is why I'm willing to share if you're nice."

She narrowed her eyes at him, and he laughed. She watched him take a bite that devoured half the chocolate, then he said, "If you want it, come and get it," and lodged the last bite between his teeth.

"Don't think I won't," she warned him. "But we do this _my_ way."

She shoved him to his back and beginning at his navel poured a bit of champagne on his bare chest. He yelped, then sighed as her tongue lapped at his skin in a line to his Adam's apple. "Jennifer," he groaned awkwardly and somewhat incoherently.

She swirled her tongue over his Adam's apple and began placing small kisses up to his chin where she licked strawberry juice from around his lips. "Hm, I like the taste of you _and_ the strawberry," she whispered, then tugged the fruit free from his lips. "That's amazing."

He sat up when she casually left the bed and began to look through the closet. "What's the plan for today, babe. I need to know what to wear."

"Oh no," he leaped to his feet and grabbed her. "You don't get to tease me like that and then casually asked what to wear. We aren't done, wife."

"That's what you get for preferring food to me, husband," she said, but her blue eyes told him that she wanted him, badly.

"Come back to bed," he tugged on her hands. "We'll see if my stamina still holds."

"Well, in the interest of science," she proposed and made him laugh.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"Where are we going?" JJ asked as Reid led her to the elevator at 11 am.

"We're going to take a tour of Red Rock Canyon. The van picks us up at the hotel and includes the scenic loop and lunch. We'll get to see the petrographs at Calico Hills and Willow Springs. They're amazing."

"I'm glad I put on shorts and have plenty of water."

He took in her outfit, of blue shorts, a white tee shirt, and her hair in a ponytail, under a blue baseball cap. He'd allowed her to talk him into shorts, a light blue tee-shirt and a ball cap over his wavy hair. They both had sunglasses, sunscreen, and bottled water.

The guide for the tour was a tall man with a thin build, black hair, and dark eyes. His skin was so darkly tanned, JJ thought he must spend his entire life outdoors. He gave his name as Harold and advised them to enjoy the ride to their location.

She grinned over at Reid as they took two seats on the left side of the van and waited as three more couples and one family with kids joined them. "This is stupid," said a boy of about ten.

"Shut up or I'll add another day on your no electronics time," said the father.

The boy closed his mouth and pouted for the next thirty minutes. Reid smirked at JJ and whispered. "I'm glad that's not me."

"Me too," she agreed as the van pulled out into the sunshine of the September morning.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"Jennifer, take a picture of me next to this petrograph."

"Why don't you guys stand over there and I'll take the picture," said one of the men in the group.

"Thanks."

Reid wrapped an arm around his wife and they smiled as the man took their photo. "This carving is so amazing in the red rock," Reid enthused. "It looks like a hunting party."

"Yeah, It's pretty cool," JJ said and snapped a photo of the carving without a human being in the frame. "I think Garcia will love it."

"So will Morgan," Reid said.

"All right," Harold the guide clapped his hands. "Let's get back in the van. It's time for lunch."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid sat with his head leaning against the window of the van. The day was over, and he felt beat despite spending most of the tour in a vehicle. JJ laid her head on his shoulder and one of her hands rested on his chest. He watched the desert with all its harsh mystery and exotic beauty flash past. He'd never felt as content and happy since before Georgia and Tobias Hankel. Perhaps, he was finally beginning to heal in mind and soul.

"What are you thinking?" JJ asked quietly.

"That I'm happier than I've been in three years."

"Me too."

Fifteen minutes later, they'd returned to their hotel and their room. He flopped down on the couch and guzzled another bottle of water. "I'm exhausted."

"So am I."

"You want to go down to a show."

"Nope."

"What do you want to do?"

She tugged on his hand. "Come on, let's take a shower and then we'll change and go to dinner."

He let her pull him to his feet. "I'm too tired for anything but a shower."

"Are you?"

"Yes," he said with finality.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"Why do you manage to get your way every time," Reid said later as they dressed.

"Because you're a sex maniac, which works for me."

He pretended to throw a sock at her. "You've got a smart mouth."

"Speaking of mouths, you have a talented one, Dr. Reid."

He smirked at her and ducked away when she lunged at him. "Not funny."

"Are we going to argue or are we going to dinner."

"I suppose we go to dinner."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"I'm so glad to be home," JJ said, twenty-four hours later.

"I agree," Reid dropped his bag and turned back to his wife. "I'm glad to come home a married man, Jennifer. Thank you for making it happen."

"Don't thank me," she said as they strolled to their bedroom. "It was _all_ Garcia."

"Do you ever wonder what we'd do without her?" He wanted to know as he took off his shoes.

"No, and I don't want to find out," she said and tugged off her skirt.

They both crawled into bed ten minutes later, but only to sleep. He sighed as she curled up to him and put her head on his chest. "I love to listen to your heartbeat," she mumbled. "It gives me hope."

"Everything about _you_ gives me hope," he said and closed his eyes.

Six hours later, he was yanked out of sleep by the ringing of JJ's cellphone. He heard her answer it, talk to the person on the other end and then touch his arm. "We have a case, Spence."

"I figured from the change in your voice."

"Well, it's time to pay the piper for our three days off."

"I suppose. Do you know what it's about?"

"Yeah, a man drove his car into a border crossing building, deliberately."

"Why are we on it?"

"Don't know the details, just that Hotch said it was important."

"Then I guess we better get dressed."


	16. Chapter 16

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**A/n credit goes to the writers of CM for the dialog from "Nameless, Faceless. **_

JJ joined Reid on the jet and took his hand. "Hey," she greeted, quietly.

"Hey," he faced her and tried, but couldn't quite force a welcoming smile to his lips.

"You okay?"

"Was going to ask you the same question."

"I'm fine, but I'm worried about Penelope."

She glanced at her friend who stared at her laptop as if it were a foreign object. Her lack of interest made her wonder if Garcia would bounce back.

"I hope she'll be okay," Spencer whispered.

JJ squeezed his hand. "You're amazing, babe."

"Why?"

She scrutinized his sincere expression of confusion and once again, it hit her how lacking in ego was her new husband.

"Because you always put others above yourself."

"Not _always_," he argued.

"No one's perfect, not even you, Spence." she gently teased.

He attempted another smile but failed again. "I should've seen what William wanted to do."

"Babe, you're not all-knowing. None of us saw it coming."

"But –"

She touched his face. "You're _not _to blame."

He nodded and finally managed a small smile that didn't reach his eyes. "I'm going to take a nap."

He settled back in his seat and closed his eyes. When JJ was certain that her husband slept, she left her seat and went to sit across from Garcia.

"Hey, Pen."

"I must look out of sorts if you're calling me Pen."

"I wanted to make sure you're all right."

"Oh, I'm all right. Watching someone take a shotgun blast at close range put a serious kink in my day, but it'll make me tougher, right."

She winced at the uncharacteristic sarcasm and the hollowness of Garcia's voice. Even her bright red hair seemed to drop in defeat and her eyes were shining with unshed tears.

"No one wants you to be tougher, Garcia. We love you as you are."

"Thanks, Jayje, but –"

"No buts," she reached over and squeezed Garcia's forearm. "You _have_ to be the color in our lives, okay."

Garcia wiped away the tears sliding down her cheeks. "You're a good friend."

"So are you. We couldn't do this without you."

"Don't you ever forget it," she intoned, and JJ chuckled, softly.

"We won't - trust me," she assured her colorful friend.

"So," Garcia asked with a sly smile. "How are things with my sweet cheeks?"

JJ sat back and smirked. "Fine."

"Fine! That's _all _you have to say."

"Shh…" she put a finger to her lips like a teacher admonishing a student. "This is the workplace."

Garcia pulled her latest knitting project from her bag. "Okay, Peaches. I understand the meaning of discretion. The next time we go for drinks, you can tell me _all_ about him. It won't be difficult to drag it from you after a couple of tequila shots."

"Well see," JJ retorted. "As I recall Emily and I drank you under the table a few months ago."

"I was off my game," Garcia responded with the dignity of a duchess having lunch with the queen.

"If you say so," JJ responded. "You sure you're okay."

"No, but I will be. After all, I have my family right here.

"Which is why I expect you to talk to me if you need it, okay?"

"I will, I promise."

JJ went back to sit next to Spencer and soon she fell into a brief but resting sleep while the jet arrowed its way home

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ and Reid met the team at 751 North Harney Street after only four hours of sleep. Detective Walker took them through the scene as quickly and succinctly as he could.

"I don't understand why we're here," Morgan asked a bit testily as they were supposed to be on stand down.

"Two days ago, a Dr. Barton got a note telling him the sender was going to kill his son. If the doctor tried to keep the boy hidden, one person, per day, would die in his place."

"And you think this is connected," Emily postulated.

"The note is signed, "LC," Reid put in as he scanned the file folder in his hands.

"Yesterday there was another victim," Walker continued. "Multiple gunshots and the shooter wrote LC in white chalk, next to the body."

"Unless Dr. Barton puts his son in harm's way, we'll have a victim per day," Reid said.

Emily asked JJ about Hotch as they were leaving for Dr. Barton's home. "I've left him voice mails. He's probably sleeping."

"Try him again," Rossi instructed.

JJ tried but got his voicemail. She gave him Dr. Barton's address and decided not to worry because they were all tired.

Reid didn't blame Dr. Barton for his upset when hours later Emily left to check on their boss. Hotch's behavior had distracted all of them and he needed to regain his concentration and help Dr. Barton find the man trying to kill his son.

The flash of final understanding hit when Emily called to tell him about Hotch and the meaning of LC as living children. Dr. Barton was the target, not his son. He jumped to his feet and rushed after the doctor, who'd insisted on going to pick up his son as per usual on his day off. He sprinted to the front door but didn't see the man with the gun until it was nearly too late. He leaped and tackled Dr. Barton to the ground as the gun boomed. Something bit into his knee and then he slammed to the ground with a jolt that sent shock waves through his entire body.

"Whatever you do stay down," Reid warned the doctor as he used his body as a shield and held his gun ready.

"Don't protect him, he killed my son," said Mr. Meyers

"No, your son was killed in a car accident."

"Stand up," Meyers demanded.

"I'm not going to ask you again," Reid said firmly. "Don't make me shoot you. _Drop_ the gun."

"Stand up, you coward."

"Mr. Meyers listen to me. Your son was killed in a car accident and this is _not_ what he would want."

Meyers lowered the gun as he seemed to hear emergency sirens rushing closer. Their wail must've touched something in him because Reid saw the purpose surge back into his eyes, but this time they were the desperate eyes of a man that wanted to die.

"Don't do it," Reid commanded.

Meyers raised his gun and he squeezed the trigger of his revolver. The explosion of the shot rocked him to the core.

The next moments were a blur of wondering if the doctor could save Mr. Meyers and attempting to ignore the pain that began to seep through the temporary effects of adrenaline on his body. The pain bit into his knee like a living thing, making him crave a shot of Dilaudid.

Then, his beautiful JJ was there, crouching over him with suppressed fear in her blue eyes. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay, but you guys need to find Emily. Something's happened to Hotch."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

When Reid awoke several hours later, the first thing he saw was another hospital room, and the second was his Jennifer in an uncomfortable chair, asleep with her hair half covering her face. The agony in his knee was gone or buried so far under the effects of drugs, he couldn't feel it. He watched his wife sleep and after a minute began to wonder if Hotch was okay. He speculated how long it would take to feel like they were all safe again.

He wasn't sure when he fell back into sleep, but when he woke JJ was there and it was fully morning with bright sun behind the blinds over the windows. His beautiful wife smiled, and it warmed her eyes until they resembled the summer sky bereft of clouds.

"Hey," she said and bent over to kiss him.

"Hm… You smell wonderful."

"Isn't it amazing what a shower and sleep will do for a girl."

"How long did you sleep in that chair before they kicked you out?"

Her cheeks turned pink. "A couple of hours. When did you wake up and why didn't you say something?"

"Because we came off a brutal case, then immediately were called back for another. I get shot and Hotch is in this same hospital with nine stab wounds."

She tried a smile, but tears collected in her eyes. "You scared me, Spence."

"I'm sorry, Jennifer."

A young man with short blonde hair, green eyes, and dark blue scrubs entered the room. "Good morning, Dr. Reid. I'm your replacement nurse, Trent. I'll be here until eight tonight."

"Hi," he waved at Trent who smiled in return.

"Hello," JJ said. "I'm his wife, Jennifer Jareau Reid."

"Happy to know you. Dr. Reid, your vitals look great. I'm here to see if you need anything. They'll bring up your breakfast in about ten minutes."

"Um, I need a bathroom break and I'm thirsty."

"No problem. I'll get one of the aides in here to help. Mrs. Reid, would you like something to drink? We have juices, water, and coffee."

"Coffee would be great, just a little sugar, please."

"Coming right up."

JJ sipped on her coffee while waiting for Spencer and watched some of the activity around her. It always amazed her how hospitals all looked the same no matter where she traveled in the country. They all had identical beige walls and tile floors and had similar smells and doctors and nurses dress in scrubs or white coats with stethoscopes wound around their necks. God, she hated hospitals!

"You feel better," she asked after the aide brought in Spencer's food tray.

"Yeah," he said after a long pull on the straw fitted into a plastic mug. "I never thought I would say this, but water tastes better than coffee right now."

"Are you sure you didn't lose too much blood?" she gently teased.

"No major arteries were hit," he said seriously. "Trent said I'm lucky because they didn't have to replace my knee."

"I know," she said. "I'm glad your leg is still attached."

He studied her for a moment. "I'm sorry I frightened you."

"Babe, let's talk about it later. I need you to rest and get back on both feet, okay."

"Are you sure," he asked.

"Yes, I don't want to have a serious discussion while you're here. Let's talk about something else."

"Do you think the Redskins will go to the Super Bowl this year," he deadpanned.

JJ's eyebrows went into her hair. "Spence, it's barely the beginning of the season."

"I know," he said, and his eyes began to sparkle with mischief. "I assumed it's never too early to collect stats and data on the physical health of the players, the skill of the coach, and –"

"Spence!"

"Yes, my love."

"When your knee is healed, I'm going to break it," she threatened, pleasantly, but with promised violence in her eyes.

He shrugged, "Just trying to be more conversational."

"Oh you," she shook her head. "What am I going to do with you?"

"I can think of several possibilities."

"Are you certain you didn't lose _too_ much blood to your brain," she asked politely.

"I didn't lose enough blood to affect my cognitive abilities, Jennifer."

"Not yet."

"We should talk about your penchant for threatening violence against my person."

"Then perhaps you should consider behaving yourself for a change," she suggested.

He smirked at her and she sighed. "I need to tell you about Hotch and what happened while you were in surgery.

He listened as his wife laid it out, the Reaper and Haley's banishment into the witness protection program with Jack. "We have to find the Reaper, Jennifer. We have to get them back."

"We will," she assured him. "Right now, you need to relax and get better. Will you promise me that you'll put all of your energy, physical and mental into doing what it takes to walk again."

"Yes," he said, firmly. "I promise."

"Good. I have a feeling we're all going to need all our strength in the weeks to come, especially Hotch."

"You're right," he agreed.

She leaned in for another kiss. "I love you, Spencer Reid, more than my life."

"I love you, too, Jennifer Jareau Reid. Promise me you'll never go away."

"Never," she assured him and clasped his hand. "Now, why don't we see what you have for breakfast."


	17. Chapter 17

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n thanks again to all who review and support this story. Please enjoy. _**

"I hope you know what you're doing, Spence," JJ remarked when her husband slowly approached on his crutches. "You _know _Hotch will call you on it when he finds out."

"How do you know he'll find out?" Spencer asked as she sipped tea from her red and black travel mug.

"I'm surprised you have to ask that question. You know he's better than all of us at reading people."

He sighed and studied his crutches. "I'm sick of staying home, Jennifer. I've been stuck in this house for thirty days. I want to get back to work."

"You're still a few weeks away from giving up your crutches. Do you honestly think that Hotch will buy that you're okay to fly?"

"You're always telling me that you can sell anything as long as you're confidant."

She shook her head and blew out a long breath. "_Now_ you decide to listen to me. Hotch is going to wonder why I didn't try to talk you out of lying to him. He'll think I should have some influence over you."

"You do," he said and reached out to touch her cheek.

"I used to think so, but now, I'm not sure. You're not ready, babe."

"Jen," he began, and annoyance flickered in his eyes. "I can't sit here any longer. I _promise_ I'll stay out of harm's way."

"You won't have a choice because the first sign of trouble and I _will_ out you to Hotch."

"I promise."

She picked up her mug. "All right, let's get to the office. I have a feeling that we're not staying put for long."

"Why?"

Her phone beeped, she read the text, then sighed. "This is why," she said and picked up the remote for their flat screen. A news report popped onto the screen and they both watched in silence the details of the pharmacy attack in Louisville, Kentucky.

"We're on it."

"Yeah, let's go."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid stretched out his leg on the jet's bench seat and tried to close his eyes against the pain that never went away. He wished he could stop thinking about it, but the only thing that helped was a meeting. He caught JJ's eye and she joined him, sitting between his legs, with her back to his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and sighed. "Hm…" he whispered. "You feel so good."

"Place of employment," she whispered back, then turned to her right and looked up at his face as he stared down at her. "Remember that for later."

"I will," he assured her.

She closed her eyes and let the gentle rhythm of his breathing lull her into a deep sleep. Two hours later, she felt him shift and she jerked out of sleep. "Where are we?"

"On the jet, about to touch down."

She carefully stretched her arms over her head. "Wow, I didn't think I'd sleep so soundly. Sorry that I trapped you here."

"It's okay, but I could do with standing up for a minute."

"Oh, right," she got to her feet. "You in pain."

"Not really, but we'll see when I get to my feet. You better buckle in, Jennifer."

She took one of the seats across from the bench and soon, the jet landed with a gentle thump and the scream of engines reversed to a stop. As the team began to gather their belongings, she looked over at her husband, who winced and groaned as he awkwardly climbed to his feet with the help of one of his crutches. "I knew it," she said. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It had time to stiffen up a bit. I'll be fine in a minute."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Hey, you two, it's time to go home. Stop dithering about," Rossi called out to them from his position near the door.

"Yeah, let's go." Emily agreed as she tried to keep a close eye on Hotch without showing her concern over his handling of Darrin Call.

"You can forget the paperwork for now," Hotch said. "We're off for the next two days. Go home and get some rest."

Morgan's mouth tightened, but he didn't speak. He was the first off, the plane, and Reid wondered if he'd call Garcia or go straight home.

"Come on," JJ said. "Let's go home."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid groaned as he dropped down on the couch and took off the brace he wore. He massaged his healing knee and thought fondly of the day he could walk without help. He thought about taking one of the non-narcotic pain pills the doctor had provided him but decided he was too tired to get up.

"Hey," JJ entered the room with a glass of water and a white tablet in her hand.

"How did you know I needed one?"

"Because you're white as a sheet. Babe, you know that doctor said that you need your rest."

"I'll be okay. However, as we'll be home tomorrow night, I'm going to a meeting."

She watched him down the pain pill with two long swallows of water. She sat beside him and lay her head on his shoulder. "I wish I could take away the pain for you."

"You help make it bearable," he assured her. "You take my mind off it, and that's the best help you can provide."

"I'm glad," she said and hugged his arm.

He pulled out his one-year medallion and watched the light from the table lamp wink off the surface of the coin. He began to make it dance and then disappear. "Huh oh, hope I didn't lose it."

She sat up. "I hope you're playing around because I know how much that coin means to you, Spence."

He turned and began to scrutinize her face. "I think I know where it went."

"Where?"

He reached behind her ear and pulled out the coin. "You had it, gentle lady."

"I know it's all distraction and manipulation, but I _still_ don't know how you do that."

"Good," he smirked at her irritated expression. "A good magician is a master of distraction."

"_Why_ are you trying to distract me?"

"I'm not. I felt like doing magic."

She watched his face intently. "Are you sure? I'm here to listen."

"The same goes for you, Jennifer."

"Come on," she encouraged as she climbed to her feet. "It's late and you need to sleep."

"I won't argue with you."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"I told you he'd find out," JJ told Reid ten minutes before departing to the jet. "When are you going to listen to me?"

"I always listen to you," he retorted. "It was a calculated risk."

"Don't worry about him," Garcia said as she brought in a second chair to her office, then held it as Reid sat heavily.

"Apparently, I'm her bitch," he informed his wife and gestured to Garcia.

JJ laughed and gave Garcia an enthusiastic high-five. "Yes. Make sure he doesn't work too hard," JJ requested of her friend.

"I will."

"I'm in the room," he complained.

"I have to go," JJ leaned down and kissed her husband. "Be good."

"I'm not a child," he said, irritably.

"Then stop acting like one. You annoyed Hotch and now you have to pay the price."

JJ left and Reid turned to Garcia. "Let's get to work."

"I'm ready and willing, Dr. Reid."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ found Reid in her office when they returned from Long Island. He levered to his feet and nearly fell when she hurried to him and yanked him into an embrace. "Spence…"

"I was so afraid when Morgan told me about Judge Schuler's shooting. You were _right_ there."

She let him go and he could see the shock in her eyes, and the determination not to let the murder get to her.

"I'm okay, Spence."

"If he'd made a mistake and missed –"

"He didn't, I'm okay."

He sighed and dropped back into a chair. "I understand that you can take care of yourself. You have the same training as Morgan, or Rossi, or any of us, but you're _my_ wife, Jennifer. I can't bear the thought of losing you.

"Spencer."

"Hotch lost Haley, first to divorce and now he doesn't know where she is because of the Reaper. Rossi lost the love of his life because of the job, and she married a man who couldn't cope with her death and became a vigilante. I don't want to lose the love of my life, Jennifer."

"I don't know what you expect me to do," she shot back, and anger flashed into her eyes.

"I want you to be careful," he said, hoarsely.

"I am," she insisted. "I have _too_ much to live for."

He nodded his head and decided to leave it there for now. "My knee is killing me. Can we go home?"

"Yeah, I can deal with the paperwork in the morning."

He hoisted up on his crutches and took one halting step forward. "Jennifer, do you ever wonder if you're doing the right thing with your life."

She slowly nodded her head. "When you were shot, I wondered if this is what I wanted us to do."

"Why didn't you say something."

"Because I didn't want to upset you."

He sighed. "We need to talk, but I don't want to do it here."

"I agree. Let's go home."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ slipped into a pair of boxer shorts that belonged to Reid and one of her favorite tank tops. She trudged out to the living room and found him on the sofa with his tie on the floor, his shoes, and socks next to the coffee table and his crutches leaning against one arm of the couch. He'd stretched out and his eyes were closed. She saw pain and worry in the lines of his face and her heart broke a little.

"Hey," she said, softly.

His eyes blinked open and he pushed to a sitting position. "Hey," he greeted and watched her face as she sat. "Jennifer, I am sorry that I upset you. I don't know how to do this job now that we're married. I can't help it if I'm concerned about my wife. I don't want us to end up like Hotch and Hayley, or like Rossi with his three ex-wives and his loneliness. I'm proud that you and I have a stable relationship. It's rare in this job."

"I know," she sighed. "I thought when we started dating that it'd be easy because we're both in the same job. We spend all our time together and I love it, but now that we're together, I can't help wondering every time we go after an un-sub, is that person going to try and kill one of us. I can't live without you, Spence."

"I don't know what to say," he reached for her hand. "I wish I had an easy solution. We both love our jobs, so leaving isn't an answer."

"No, it isn't," JJ agreed. "What are we going to do, Spence?"

"Maybe we can start by remembering that we have someone to go home to and take extra care."

"I think that'll be easier said than done for you," she teased.

"Why?"

"You are the trouble magnet for the team."

"That's not true," he argued. "We've all had our share of life-threatening situations."

"Yes, but not as many as you have, husband of mine."

He frowned. "All right, let's say I acquiesce to your assessment of our brushes with danger, that doesn't mean I'm a trouble magnet."

"You should ask Morgan if you need a second opinion."

He narrowed his eyes at his wife. "I don't think so."

"Are we okay?" she asked.

"Yes," he pushed up to his feet and grabbed his crutches. "Let's go to bed."

She watched him expertly manipulate his crutches and she longed to take his hand. It seemed like forever since they'd been able to walk side by side with his arm around her shoulders. His doctor said he was healing as expected and would be done to a cane in a few weeks.

"Good idea, Spence. I'm going to read a little, though. I think you need to rest your gray matter more than I do."

"Why," he stopped and turned curious eyes to her.

"I heard about crater creator."

He rolled his eyes. "I let her give the answer. It was good for her ego."

"Right. You keep telling yourself that, Spence."

"I thought that as my wife, you'd be on my side."

She shook her head and chuckled. "You have a lot to learn about marriage, Dr. Reid."


	18. Chapter 18

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

JJ dropped her bag on the sofa as Reid swung in on his crutches behind her. She sighed and stretched. "I'm exhausted."

"You were quiet on the way home. Is everything alright?''

"Hm… Oh right, I forgot to tell you. Hotch and I were going over cases and I gave him a possible white supremacist group. He asked me for my to take on it. I was surprised."

"Why?" Reid asked as he stretched out his leg and groaned.

"Because I'm not a profiler, Spence."

"Don't try to kid me," said her husband as he reached out to touch her hair. She leaned into his touch for a moment and blew out a long breath. "You're amazing. You pick our cases, Jennifer. I've known since the beginning that it takes a bit of profiling. I know if the others stopped to think, they'd see it too."

"Thanks, Spence."

She took his hand and kissed it. He grinned then sobered. "What else is going on in your head."

"After we finished our cases, I needed to do the last distribution. You weren't at your desk when I went to the bullpen and I noticed that Strauss was in Hotch's office. It looked like a very intense conversation, the kind you have when your boss is pissed. and you know you're in trouble. I've never seen Hotch look like that after talking to her, and that's _saying_ something. I hope she didn't try to fire him or suspend him again."

"Why should she," Reid said. "He's the victim."

"That's why I'm afraid she'll try to get rid of him. She'll say he needs to concentrate on dealing with the fact that his family's in the witness protection program."

"I hope you're wrong, but she's always been threatened by him, so it wouldn't surprise me if she did try to get him out by accusing him of losing focus."

JJ shook her head and lightly slapped his good leg. "Let's get some sleep. I have a feeling that tomorrow might be a little tricky."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ left the bathroom in their hotel room and shut off the light. She kicked off her shoes and began to undress as Spencer watched her. "What?" She said as she slipped out of her bra and into one of her white tank tops. "Nothing, you're so beautiful."

She felt the heat of a blush tinged her cheeks. "Spence."

She watched him stand his crutches against the night table, then, standing with the majority of his weight on one foot, he drew off his tee-shirt and held out a hand. "Jennifer."

"No way, babe, your knee is – and we're on a case. Thin walls.

"I'm tired of waiting. We've spent nearly all our married life waiting for me to heal. I'm done. We'll find a way. I need you, Jen. I love you and I want you near me. I want you to touch me and make me forget the pain as _only_ you can, baby."

She swallowed hard because his weeks on crutches had done wonders for his arms, his chest and his back. He was beautiful and sexy, and she found herself moving to him and drawing off her tank so that she wore only panties and the color of raw desire in her cheeks.

"God, you are beautiful," he sighed and his breathing increased as they moved.

"I was thinking the same thing about you," she reached out and shoved down his pajamas. "Hm, someone is eager."

"Yes," he turned and dropped to the bed. "Don't make me wait."

"I wouldn't dream of it." she slid out of her panties and joined him on the bed. "Time for me to be on top, Dr. Reid.

"I'm ready," he said and closed his eyes.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"You okay," JJ asked sometime later when she could breathe again. She lay at his right side and tucked in his arms.

"Oh yeah. I wish I'd know what an effective pain killer sex can be, and I wouldn't have waited so long."

She snorted laughter. "Oh, Spence. You _are_ a wild man."

"If I am, it's because you bring it out in me."

"Do I?"

"Yes."

They were quiet for a long time as cars rushed past their motel and headlights cut regular swathes of light past the window. JJ slipped out of bed and drew the curtains over a set of blinds already pulled over the window. "That's better," she climbed back into bed and turned into his arms.

"Yes, it is better, everything feels – exceptional when you're close to me. I can't imagine going through life without you by my side."

"I agree," she said. "I love you more than you'll ever understand, babe."

"Hm… me too," he murmured.

She smiled in the dark and hoped that they get a few hours of rest before returning to their case. She smiled faded as she thought of those young girls, going through forced pregnancies and birth only to die after their children were ripped from them. She shuddered and held tight to the man she loved. She kissed his bare shoulder and closed her eyes.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid found JJ in her office. She stared out the window overlooking the hallway and didn't respond when he greeted her. "Jennifer," he said quietly and then, "Hey, JJ, you okay."

"What? Oh yeah, I'm fine, just thinking."

"I can _see_ that. What are you thinking about?"

She sighed and stretched her arms over her head. "The case. I was thinking about all those children and adoptions. How will the courts sort everything out, and wouldn't it be kinder for the biological parents to let them go, or – I don't know. It worked out for the Montero's but what about the rest."

Reid took a seat in front of her desk. "I don't know. Children their age would be traumatized by leaving all they know, but it'd be better than if they were teenagers."

"I can't imagine losing your child, then dying at the hands of a serial killer."

"No," he agreed. It would be terrible for them. My mother always says that moms are like animals, that they feel things. I think she means that a mother will always fight to the death for her child."

"Yeah, you're mom's right. Come one," she stood up. "We can worry about paperwork later."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid found JJ sitting on the sofa with a book in her hands and soft music playing from her iPod speakers. It was rare to see her sit down and read and he had to stop and watch her out of sheer fondness.

"I can feel you staring at me."

"I was thinking how rare it is to see you reading a book."

"I like to read, I just don't have time for it, usually."

"As much as I like to see you with a book in your hands, I wonder what you're trying to work up to."

She turned to look at him as he approached and sat next to her with a sigh and a groan. He was healing and moving more easily, but long days took it out of him, still. Unfortunately, he was too perceptive for his own good, even wounded.

"I'm not working up to anything."

"Let me rephrase," he said. "You're thinking about something important. You barely spoke on the way home and you weren't working in your office. What is it?"

"Can't a girl have privacy when she's married." she retorted.

"Jennifer."

"I'm sorry," She patted his injured leg gently. "I was thinking. Remember what Garcia said about babies and having a blond-haired blue-eyed child would bring her top dollar?"

"Yes."

"I don't know why, but it got me thinking. What would our child look like?"

She almost laughed as his face drained of color, and he began to cough into his hand. "Are you pregnant, Jennifer," he squeaked.

"What? No! I'm _not_ pregnant, Spence. I was just wondering, that's all."

"Do you want to be pregnant?" he asked as some color reappeared in his cheeks.

"No. Yes. I don't know. Do you want to have kids?"

"I'm not sure. I haven't thought about it. There is the risk of schizophrenia and high intelligence from my genetics, but there's also the possibility of a beautiful blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl that I'd love."

"Spence."

"She'd be athletic, strong, determined and intelligent like you. She wouldn't be shy and clumsy and –"

"Stop it," she clapped a hand over his mouth. "I will _not_ let you say that everything good would come from me and everything bad from you. That's not true. I want a little boy with brown hair and chocolate eyes, with hands that are gentle and strong, and who's intelligent, wise and kind."

"Jennifer."

"Babe, I'm not saying we go try this minute and it was probably something we should've talked about before the wedding, but yeah, I'm warming to the idea."

"I'll propose a compromise," he said. "We'll continue to discuss it, and if we agree, then after we find the Reaper and get Hotch's family back, we'll try."

"Agreed," she said and stuck out her hand. Spencer laughed and shook it. "I feel like I just agreed to a ceasefire," she joked.

"It wasn't that bad," he disagreed. "We barely had an argument."

"Still, it's a big decision."

"It is, but we'll handle the way we do with everything, head on and with gusto," she said.

"I like that, word, gusto," he said. "Did you know that gusto comes from gust which is derived from seventeenth-century Latin, gustus."

"I didn't, but thanks for the info, babe. Now, if you don't mind, can I read for a bit."

He smirked at her. "Okay, but I was going to ask you for a game of chess."

"Ha, smart ass," she said and returned to her book."

"I think I'll teach our kids to play," he announced.

"Kids, as in plural," she said, laying aside her book, again. "I thought we agreed to talk about one child," she reminded him and held up her index finger.

"We did, but I thought I'd suggest the possibility of more than one."

She sighed. "I think we need to discuss it and take things slowly, as in one at a time."

"What if you carry twins?"

She gaped at him then saw the humor in his beautiful eyes. "Not funny, Spence."

"It's always a possibility. In 2008 the percentage of multiple births in the US was 3 of every 100."

"Then I think we should pray to be one of the ninety-seven," she said firmly.

"The rate of identical twins is about 3-5 for every 1000 births around the world and that's held steady for decades."

"You're not helping, Spence."

"Jennifer there are many factors that determine your chance of conceiving multiples. Your age, because the longer you wait for the more eggs your ovaries release per menstrual cycle. Also, the rise in the use of fertility drug contributes to multiples if you chose artificial insemination. Now, you're barely thirty and I don't think we'll need help in conceiving, but if we do –"

"Spence, I get it. All right, we'll take it as it comes, twins, or one, or four."

"Four," he squeaked, and she smirked.

"That's what you get for spouting statistics about women and their ovaries."

He went pink and then began to laugh. "I read a lot."

"Yes, I know you do, but you have to admit that was a bit creepy, especially if overheard in polite company."

"Is it," he said. "I don't see the fear of being prepared."

"You're right, there's no reason not to be prepared for all eventualities."

He rubbed at his knee. "The most important thing to me is getting off these crutches."

"Babe, I know you hate them, but Dr. Morrison said two more weeks and you'll be down to one and then transition to a cane."

"I'm supposed to drop to once a week PT when I graduate to a cane."

"Oh, too bad, I like the way PT has changed your body, especially your ass, Spence."

"JJ!"

She grinned at her and he decided to kiss her. She hugged him close then slapped his shoulder. "Come on, I'm starved, and you promised we'd call out for Greek tonight."

"Okay, you decide what you want and I'll make the call."


	19. Chapter 19

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n all credit for any matching dialog to the writers of CM. We're up to "The Performer," and the chapter follows some of the episode and some has been changed, slightly to fit my vision._**

Reid picked up another file and began to read it, his finger running down one page and then flipping to the next and within seconds, he finished and moved on to another page. JJ entered the room with two cups of fresh coffee and a stack of files when he grabbed another file and gave it the same quick perusal, missing nothing with his speed-reading abilities. She picked up a photo of their latest victim, Tara and studied it.

"How's it going?"

"Fine, I've been through all the files and I'm getting a pretty grisly picture of the vampire subculture."

She eyed him and said. "You don't sound disgusted, in fact, you sound – excited about the subject matter, like on the plane."

"I like the supernatural, you know that."

"Yes, I do, but this is real life."

"It is and that's what fascinating because nearly all the old-time movie monsters can be traced to illness that people didn't understand or mental conditions like Lycanthropy, or Xeroderma Pigmentosa in the case of vampires. Or even the use of hallucinogens and poisons derived from blowfish to create zombies in the West Indies."

"Okay, I understand that, but do you have to look so thrilled by the thought of so-called real vampires."

He pushed a lock of hair behind his ear. "Yes," he said.

"I guess I have to accept the fact that I married a ghost story addict."

He grinned at her and she rolled her eyes.

"So, what's next.

"We need more information about the victims. Let's look at their lives."

"You said they probably crossed paths."

"Yes, that's so."

"So, we're looking for a connection between the witnesses," she asked him as she pinned up photos to what he called the murder board.

"When vampirists become obsessed, they aren't likely looking for a random victim. If we can find a cross-relationship, someone in all the victims' lives, it'll be incredibly helpful.

"Gina King knew Tara the longest. They apparently had so classes together."

"Let's get all the information we can on that relationship. As a matter of fact, get me all you can on all of Tara's friends."

"All right, in the morning I'll track them down and do some follow-up."

She looked at her watch as he continued to go through files. "Hey, you want to grab something to eat and get some rest. It's getting late."

"Another hour, then we'll go."

"Okay, I'll go talk to Garcia."

"See you later," he said absently, and she smiled. He had a talent for completely submerging into a case and ignoring all stimuli around him. She often wondered what it was like to be able to concentrate so completely on something.

Later, after they quit for the night, she sat with her chin on her knees as she tried to think of something other than the case. Sometimes, when they had to stay overnight on a case, she wished for anything to take her mind off the case and get to sleep. Now, she had something to distract her and he was sitting next to her and read a new book from his messenger bag.

"Spence."

"Hm…"

"Will you stop reading for a minute, please. I need to talk to you."

He shut the book and looked at her with expectant eyes. She met his eyes and as usual, fought to keep her train of thought. His eyes always hypnotized her into a trancelike state that was relaxing or infuriating depending on the situation. At work, she had to avoid prolonged eye contact, or she'd lose her concentration which was dangerous if Hotch picked up on her distraction. Now, it was relaxing, and she wanted him to hold her close so she could hear his heartbeat and sleep without thinking about blood and vampires.

"What is it?"

"I had a quick conversation with Emily before we decided to quit for the day. She wondered why Detective Kim is familiar with the team. I told her about Lila Archer's stalking case."

"Um, what exactly did you tell her?" He squeaked, guiltily.

"Everything."

"JJ!"

"Would you prefer she ask Morgan?"

He sighed and put aside his book. "No. What did she say?"

"She said you're a naughty boy, and that she's impressed that you broke the cardinal rule and kissed a victim."

"Jennifer," he groaned. "She's going to think that –"

"What, you're a normal man with hormones. I think she knows it because we're married, babe."

"Yes, we are because it didn't work out with Lila and I'm glad. She's beautiful but empty-headed and more trouble than she's worth."

"I'm glad you said that, because you're mine, Spencer Reid."

"And you're mine, Jennifer Jareau Reid."

"Well, I'm exhausted," she yawned. "Let's go to sleep."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"I always feel yucky looking into someone's private life," Garcia said the next morning as they tried to gather more information on Tara.

"You probably won't get far because everything is password protected – and you're in already, aren't you," JJ said in semi-disbelief.

"The password was Cullen."

"Colon," Reid said with clear confusion in his eyes.

"Cullen, like the vampire family in "Twilight."

"What's Twilight," Reid asked.

"We have to broaden your reading horizons from technical manuals. How's the profile coming?"

"I don't know, I never feel ready, you know."

"Babe you're going to be fine. You're an amazing profiler and you see patterns the rest of us couldn't see if we tripped and fell over them."

"I don't know. I think I need more time."

"Look, I'm going to go see Tara's BFF before the media requests come in and it gets too crazy."

"What's a BFF?"

"Best Friend Forever," she said with a shake of her head. "Broadening your reading horizons isn't the only thing we need to look at, you need a course in internet slang, too."

"If you say so. Should I go with you?"

"No, you have a profile to deliver."

"Jennifer, I appreciate your faith in me, but I should work on it a bit longer."

She sighed and grabbed his phone.

"What are you doing with my phone?"

She hit speed dial and said. "Hey Morgan, Reid's ready for the profile," she said and ignored him frantically motioning to her to stop. "Yeah, here he is," She handed him the phone, blew him a kiss and headed out the door.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"Are you sure you're okay," Reid asked as he hurried in their front door and reached awkwardly for the light switch?

"I told you on the plane that I'll be fine. You heard what the doctor said. I'll be sore for a few days and then okay."

He shook his head and then smiled a little. "I'm sorry I didn't go with you."

"Again, as I said on the plane, you couldn't have known. This isn't like Georgia, Spence."

"I know, I just don't want to lose you."

She sat heavily on the sofa. "Oh," she reached back and touched her head. "I have the headache to end all headaches."

Reid dropped his messenger bag, sat and rummaged through it. He pulled out a red, yellow and blue box and a bottle of pills from the pharmacy. "Here's your prescription strength ibuprofen and a cold pack."

"Spence."

"Sh…" He said as he opened the box. "Let me take care of you for once."

"All right," She leaned back against one of her throw pillows. "Thank you, babe."

He removed the cold pack from its plastic wrapping and squeezed it until she heard a popping noise, then he shook it vigorously. "There, I can feel it getting cold."

"Oh, babe, that feels great, thank you."

"Now, I'm going to get you some water."

She didn't try to argue with him about the limitations of crutches. He'd become quite good at finding ways to carry things with his hands occupied. In this case, he filled her travel mug with water and let it swing from one of his fingers by the rubber attachment that held the lid in place.

"Here," he held it out to her and watched while she took one of her pills. "Now, it's time for bed. Luckily, you don't have a concussion, so I won't have to wake you every two hours."

"Yeah, Emily already made a smart remark about my hard head."

"Dante's manager could've killed you."

"He didn't, Spence. Please let's get some sleep. I'm tired and I want to forget about the last two days."

He reluctantly agreed, but he wondered how much longer they could put off talking about what they'd do if something else happened to endanger one of them. Could he justify continuing to do a job that could kill him?

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ returned from her run with a screaming headache and ragged breath. She hadn't thought that running after getting hit in the head with a shovel could bring on a headache, but it had. She sighed and went to her phone. Luckily, no messages and as she'd been ordered to stay home for a couple of days, she decided to run some errands after a shower and stretching. Maybe if she modified a bit of yoga, her headache would go away.

Three hours later, she lay on the sofa with another cold pack on her head and her eyes closed. The doctor said it would be sore, but she'd assumed the doctor was overly concerned. She was about to fall asleep when she heard the door open. Her eyes snapped open to see Reid enter. His appointment with the orthopedic doctor had been a fruitful one because he walked in on one crutch.

"Hey," she said and attempted to stand.

"Stay there," he ordered and walked to her side.

"You're walking," she said, and happiness lit up her eyes.

"Yes, but I'm more concerned about you, Jennifer."

"I'll be okay. I took another pain pill and the cold pack is helping."

He sat next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. "I'm calling Morgan. I was supposed to go in this afternoon, but I've decided, to start my weekend early."

"Don't do that," she said. "I'm all right, Spence. Go to work."

"No," he insisted. "I'm staying here with you and we're going to have dinner. If you want, we can watch "A Clockwork Orange," because you piqued my curiosity about its connection to Beethoven."

She shook her head. "No thank you, once was enough for me. Let's watch something fun."

"If you're sure," he probed, his hazel eyes dark with concern.

"Yes, I'm very sure."

"Then I'll go call Morgan and see what's available to heat up for leftovers."

She lay back on the sofa and thought that she should've argued and made him go to work, but her head ached like an impacted tooth and she was so tired. His presence was enough to lull her into sleep, and when Reid returned, he found her asleep.

"I knew you hit the wall," he whispered and softly feathered back her hair with two fingers. He kissed her gently and walked slowly back to their bedroom.


	20. Chapter 20

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n we're up to 100. Nothing will change about the outcome of 100 and I'm not rehashing the entire episode. Thanks to all who continue to support this story and my vision of what might've been in this AU. _ **

He felt like a voyeur listening to Hotch and Hayley speak to each other, and he felt his blood boil to know that George Foyet heard every word they said to each other and got off on knowing that Hotch would be too late. For the first time in Reid's life, he questioned reality and wished with all his soul for a way to go back and find some method to stop Foyet and bring back Hayley. He couldn't imagine what Hotch felt because if anyone took JJ from him in such a way – he knew what he'd do.

By the time the team made it to Hayley's home, Foyet was dead, killed by Hotch's bare hands. All they could do was report on the aftermath and sit through Chief Strauss's review board. He wanted to tell her that family was more important than the rule of law, that it was more critical than FBI protocol that said you had to take the criminal alive.

Now, he limped next to Morgan as an honorary pallbearer and thanked whatever God or force that ruled the universe, that he didn't have to help carry Hayley's casket to the place where all of us go in the end. He didn't have to touch the metal of the handles bolted to the polished wood. Then, guilt washed through him for his thoughts, for shouldn't he want to be in Morgan's, or Kevin's, or Rossi's place? He should consider it an honor.

JJ stood next to him and took his hand as they listened to Hotch talk about Hayley. Reid could hear in his voice how much he still loved her and would always love her. He felt tears well up in his eyes and glanced at JJ as she squeezed his hand. Tears dripped from her beautiful blue eyes and fell onto the white rose she held. She looked up at him, and her lips trembled as she pressed them together. He saw the terrible sadness reflected in them that he felt. When Hotch finished his quotation from "The Pirates of Penzance," and he knew it was time to place the rose he carried, he could barely force his feet to move forward.

"Hey," JJ said softly. "It's time."

He took his turn to lay the rose and then it was time to turn away from the casket and go back to his life.

"Why?" Reid asked her. "I didn't know Hayley that well, and yet I feel this terrible sadness. Is it for her or is it for Hotch?"

"Does it matter?" she asked as they lingered behind the others.

"No, I don't suppose it does."

"I think that if there ever comes a time when we can't mourn for a stranger or someone we barely know and save our tears only for the ones we love, then humanity is doomed."

"You're right," he agreed, and they walked back to JJ's car.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ dropped her bag inside the door, several days later and after another difficult case. She turned to Reid as soon as he limped inside. His cane fell to the floor when she pulled him to a stop and dragged him down for a kiss that made breathing impossible, but she didn't care. "Spence…"

"Jennifer."

"I can't do this. I need time away from everything. Please take me somewhere safe with you."

"I already talked to Morgan. I told him we're not coming back for a least a week. He knows we have the time and he'll make sure that Strauss doesn't make an issue of it."

"Good," she breathed and tugged on his hand. "Let's get packed.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"How did you do this?" Reid wanted to know as they pulled into the parking lot behind, The Inn at Arcadia," a small hotel located off I-64 in the George Washington National Forest.

"It's something I've wanted to do for a long time, and Garcia helped me set it up."

"Tell her I said thank you," he said as he looked around at the hills and the trees that surrounded the property with a thousand shades of fall colors as far as the eye could see. A cold wind blew and reminded him that winter was closing in, but the sunset in the west painted the sky in tones of orange, gold, and pink and the sheer beauty of the view made him forget about the shorter days and the coming of snow.

"Come on, Spence. It's getting dark and cold. Let's go inside."

They went inside and checked-in for their three-day stay. JJ let her surprised eyes wander over the interior of the two-story, eighteenth-century farmhouse that the current owner had converted into a ten-bedroom hotel. She'd have to find some way to thank Garcia for making this happen on a minute's notice.

The lobby featured furniture from the period when the house was originally built. The chairs looked heavy enough to withstand hurricane winds, but also comfortable enough to sit in and watch the view for hours at a time. Colorful throw rugs littered the polished hardwood floors and surprisingly a German Sheppard sat in front of the huge, stone fireplace at her right. A fire crackled merrily away in the grate, its orange and red flames dancing as if it were performing for their amusement. Two huge windows flanked the oaken door and faced west toward the sunset. Blinds covered them and blocked out the blinding sunlight, but JJ could imagine the room in the morning and the view.

"Hey," Reid gently tugged on her hand. "Let's get checked in."

As they were taking care of the business of obtaining their room key, the dog rose from before the fire, stretched out its hind legs and slowly padded over to JJ. "Hi there," she greeted the beautiful black and tan canine. The dog whined and rubbed its head on her jeans-clad legs.

"Kant," chided the man behind the counter. "Wait to be asked, please."

Kant backed away, sat on his hunches and whined low in his throat. He looked up at JJ with black eyes that gleamed with intelligence.

"It's okay," JJ said. "He's beautiful."

"He knows better, but he loves to greet the guests.

"Kant, that's an unusual name," JJ remarked and held out her hand to the dog.

"Go ahead, Kant."

Kant walked to JJ and panted happily as she crouched down to pet his head and scratch behind his ears. "Good dog," she said.

"Kant means –"

"Beloved or brilliant in Sanskrit, it's also the name of an eighteenth-century German philosopher," Reid said.

The man behind the check-in counter raised his eyebrows. "Yes. You're the first person to understand the meaning."

"My husband loves to read," JJ said as she rose to her feet and accepted their key card.

Reid flinched when Kant approached and licked his hand. "Hi," he squeaked.

"Animals don't like Spence as a rule, but it appears Kant's okay with him," JJ observed with a smile.

Reid cautiously reached out a hand and stroked Kant's head. The dog leaned into his touch and panted.

"Come on, Spence. You can play with your new friend later." JJ said over laughter.

Reid looked back at the dog, and expression on his face made her smile. Her husband had the ability to surprise her at the oddest times. Kant went back to his place in front of the fire and they climbed the stairs to the second floor.

"Alone at last," she said when the door shut behind them.

"Yes," he said and they both surveyed their room.

"It's gorgeous," she breathed.

"I concur," he said and went to one of the west facing windows. The sun had set and the sky was the dark blue, nearly black of twilight. He could see the moon and the forest of pine and oaks around them.

"What's this?"

He turned to see that his wife had found his gift. In a carved crystal vase stood a dozen long-stemmed roses. They were so red, they almost appeared black and their perfume filled the room with their amazing scent.

"Why don't you read the card?" He suggested.

JJ went to the vase, breathed in more of the perfume of the flowers and pulled a small, white envelope from the blooms. She opened it and slid out a matching white card with three words printed on it.

_Yours forever, Spence_.

Tears filled her eyes and when she turned back to him, he stood leaning on his cane and his eyes showed her everything that he felt in his heart for her. She loved the way he looked at her as if she were the only one in the world.

"How?"

"Garcia."

"Of course."

"I wanted to tell you that I love you more than anything. These last few days have – well, they've sucked, as Garcia might say. I could never survive losing you like Hotch lost Hayley."

"I don't want to talk about Hotch or work, or losing each other. I want to spend the next three days talking about anything other than work, or loss, or blood and misery. I want to eat, make love and take long drives and short walks."

"I agree," he said.

"Good because that white lace canopy bed looks incredibly comfortable. Let's try it out."

He held out a hand. "Whatever you say."

CMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid tangled his hand in JJ's hair. "I love the texture of your hair," he whispered. "And the smell," he drew in a long breath and sighed in contentment.

"I think you have a hair fetish," she teased as she stretched and shifted her head to look up at his gorgeous face.

He laughed because the ends of her hair tickled the skin of his bare chest. "Is that a problem?"

"No, as long as you fetishize about _my_ hair."

"You don't have to worry," he assured her. "You're the only one for me. I knew if from the first moment I laid eyes on you. I was lost."

She smoothed back his hair. "I wish I'd been able to admit my feelings sooner. We've lost so much time."

"I wonder," he said as he played with her golden locks. "I don't think I was ready four years ago. As much as I hate my addiction, in a way, I'm grateful for it because it made me stronger."

She touched his bare shoulder and nodded her head. "I understand more than you know. I was terrified to tell you how I felt."

"Why?"

"You say that like you don't understand how intimidating you can be to a girl like me."

"Me, come on, Jennifer."

"I'm serious. You're a genius."

"Yes," he agreed, and confusion colored his voice and bled into the darkened room around them.

"I'm not a genius. I didn't know if you thought I another dumb blonde or –"

"Jen, I never thought such a thing as you're a stereotypical dumb blonde. I knew you wouldn't have gotten to your position without brains, determination and some guile. I was intimidated by you. You're so lovely and smart, and you frighten the press to death."

"Spence!"

"It's true. Do you know when I knew that I loved you? I mean love, not infatuation or lust."

"When," she asked, intrigued.

"During the Hollow Man case. When you got up at the press conference and told them the Hollow Man lacked a certain sophistication and he wasn't elegant, you had this expression of disdain on your face. I thought, 'I hope she never looks at me that way,' he said.

"I'm not sure how to respond to that."

"When the Hollow Man dragged in the guard and you were standing there with your gun on him, and he said. 'He told you to say those words.' My heart nearly stopped, and I was sure he would shoot you. I would lose you and never get to say how much I loved you."

"I was scared, too," she said. "But, I couldn't let it show."

"I was so glad there were a dozen other LEOs and the team as a backup."

"Me, too."

"So," she said after several quiet moments. "Dogs like you now?"

"Interesting segway from our previous topic," he squeaked.

"Thanks. Spill!"

"I don't know," he denied. "Kant is the first dog I've dealt with in months. The last time I had an encounter with a dog was at my apartment. I had a neighbor that lived down the hall and he had a Jack Russel Terrier that went crazy every time it saw me, barking and growling like I was trying to kill him. They moved away and it's been much quieter."

"Hm, maybe Kant is smart enough to know that you're a good man."

"Canines rely on scents to judge humans, Jennifer."

She lowered her head to his chest and drew in a long, considering breath. "Yeah, I get it. You smell delicious."

"Jennifer."

She slapped his shoulder. "Come on. Let's get dressed. I want to try the restaurant we passed on our way here."

He shifted, stretched and levered out of the bed. He grabbed his cane and look around for his boxers.

"How's your knee?"

"It's getting better. I can't wait to get rid of this cane."

"The doctor said two more weeks."

"I'm glad because I'm looking forward to returning to the status quo."

"Which is?" she asked as she pulled on her bra.

"I want to be on top, again."

She stopped, pinned him with a stare meant to terrify the fourth estate and threw her pillow at him. He grinned back and picked up a sock. "Just kidding, dear."

"Ha, let's get dressed, _dear_. I'm starved."


	21. Chapter 21

**_Disclaimer: please see my profile_**

**_A/n some holiday fun. Please enjoy. _**

JJ removed her phone from her bag and dropped down on their sofa. She began to peruse all the photographs she'd take of their three days in the mountains. She grinned and Reid said. "What's so funny?"

She glanced over to see him at his chessboard, but he wasn't concentrating on the game. "I found the picture I took of you and Kant."

"Oh, man, I hoped it wouldn't come out." He moaned.

"Why are you complaining? It's obvious you have a friend for life."

"Yes, but did he have to leap at me like that. He nearly knocked me over. I thought dogs could sense when a person is hurt."

"Perhaps he sensed that you're nearly healed and decided to take a chance," she suggested as she giggled.

"That is _not_ funny," he complained.

"Yes, it is," she said.

He limped over the join her on the sofa. "Let me see."

She handed over the phone. "What's it worth to you that Morgan never sees this," he asked.

Her eyebrows went up. "Oh, you do _not_ want to leave my options wide open, my gorgeous husband."

"Jennifer?"

"Fine, I have only one request."

"What is it?" he asked, and she saw in his eyes hope, fear and resignation.

"I want to start trying for a baby."

His eyebrows went up. "That's it?"

"You say it like it's a casual thing, Spence."

"No, I only meant that I expected you to – never mind. Yes." He said. "I want to start."

"Good. Let's look at the remaining photos."

He smiled and searched through them until he found his favorite. "That's the one I like."

It was a picture of JJ standing near a tree covered in scarlet leaves that remained in place despite the December cold. She had her hands in her coat pockets, and she smiled with such happiness, it lit up her entire being. The sun couldn't compete with the golden tints of her hair, and her blue eyes out did the winter sky.

"It's good," she agreed.

"What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that I'm the luckiest woman on the planet. I have the most amazing husband, a great job, a cozy little home and now we're going to have a baby. I can't ask for anything more."

"I have nothing to add," he agreed. "You summed up exactly how I feel every day I'm with you."

She kissed him and then she touched his face. "What do you want for Christmas, babe?"

"Nothing," he said. "I want to spend time with you."

"You want to go see your mom?"

"Yes, but I thought you'd want to see your mother."

"I've already spoken to her and she suggested that we see Dianna this year and go to her next year. I thought we could invite mom here for the New Year. We have an extra room."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am."

"Then let's do it."

"Now," JJ slapped his leg. "You want to help me decorate?"

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

As JJ entered Bennington with Reid, she noticed an immediate change in him. His shoulders hunched a bit and his forehead furrowed. She watched him take in the Christmas decorations around the lobby and in the hallways.

"It's going to be okay," she said.

"How do you know?"

"Because it's the holidays and I believe in good things at Christmas time."

"I hope you're right. Christmas can be difficult for her because of the idea of Santa watching your every move. I know in her head she knows he's not real, but with her condition – it can be touch and go."

"Let's not worry until we talk to Marcie."

"Okay," he breathed out and smiled at a woman passing them in the opposite direction with two children in tow.

They passed more visiting families and nurses, on their way to Dianna's room. When they stepped off the elevator, Marcie was at the desk. She talked to a doctor and didn't notice them for a minute, then she looked up and smiled. "Merry Christmas, Spencer."

"Merry Christmas, you remember my wife, Jennifer."

"Yes, but she wasn't your wife the last time we met. Congratulations."

"Thank you."

"Is she having a good day?"

"Yes, and she knows you're coming. Go ahead, she's in her room."

He blew out a breath and JJ took his hand. "I told you it would be okay."

"I'm glad you were right."

They turned into Dianna's room and Spencer tapped on her door. "Hey mom," he greeted.

Dianna looked up from one of her photo albums. "Oh, Spencer. It's _so_ good to see you."

She hugged him tightly and smiled at JJ over his shoulder. "Hello, Jennifer. How are you, my dear?"

JJ and Reid sat on the sofa after JJ took her turn at a hug with her mother-in-law. Dianna perched on a chair near a small table by her window. "I'm fine, Dianna. How are you feeling?"

"Surprisingly good for Christmas. I'm thrilled you were able to take off work."

"We're off rotation until after the New Year. Management owed us," JJ said and made Reid smile.

"Good, it's about time the FBI realized that you need to rest your brains and bodies once in a while."

"True," JJ agreed.

"How is my son treating you?" Dianna wondered.

"Mom!"

"He's the best husband anyone could ask for. He treats me like a queen."

"Good."

Reid shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Mom," he repeated, and Dianna laughed.

"Okay, I'll stop teasing you. Now, how is Jennifer treating _you._"

JJ smirked and held back a laugh while Reid looked between the two women that flanked him. "What's the right answer to the question," he finally asked JJ who burst out laughing.

"The right answer is that I cater to your every whim."

"Ha," Reid said then jerked away from JJ when she tried to smack him.

"Not funny."

"You two are so adorable," Dianna said.

"Can we talk about something else?" Reid asked.

"Why don't you give your mom her gift," JJ suggested.

He handed over the gift bag he carried into the room. "I wasn't sure what you wanted and then JJ went shopping and put these together for you."

Dianna opened the bag to find a new Scrabble game, stationary, a couple of books on Medieval Europe and some replacement shampoo, toothpaste, and other essentials.

"Thank you, I can use all of this."

"Good."

"I wish I had something in return for you, son."

"I don't need anything from you, mom. Spending time with you is all I want."

Dianna reached over and squeezed his hand. "You're the best son a mother could want."

"Thanks, mom," Reid glanced at JJ who nodded.

"Dianna, we have more news for you. Spence and I have talked and we're ready to start trying to get pregnant."

"Oh, that's wonderful." Dianna moved to hug them both. "I admit that I've been wondering if you were thinking of it. You have a look," she directed at JJ, who smiled and turned her eyes to her husband.

"A mother always knows," Reid said and made Dianna chuckle.

"Yes, that's true."

"I will call you when it happens," Reid promised.

"I'll be waiting," Dianna said. "Now, tell me what else is going on in your lives."

They talked together for about an hour before Dianna began to tire. The sun was low in the sky and it would soon be dinner time for the residents. They said their goodbyes and hurried out to the rental car they'd picked up at the airport.

"I told you she'd be fine," JJ said to her husband when they arrived at their hotel.

"I'm so glad you were right, Jennifer. I needed to see her happy today."

"I know." she tugged on his hand. "Let's go find something to eat and then we can settle in for a long winter's nap."

"We must be getting old if you want to go to bed early."

"Well, I figured that we could make out, then go to sleep."

"You did. What if I say I'm too tired, Mrs. Reid?"

"I'd say you're lying, Dr. Reid."

He laughed and slapped her butt. "I love you."

"Watch it," she warned, and then she kissed him. "Love you, too."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid awoke on the morning of New Year's Eve to find JJ's side of the bed empty. He sat up, drew in a breath and smiled. The delicious smells of fresh coffee, and eggs, onions, cheese, and bacon filled the air. JJ said that her mother always made them a huge breakfast casserole for New Year's Eve morning.

He climbed out of bed and smiled again because a week ago, he'd given up his cane. His knee still ached from time to time, but he'd finished PT and the doctor said he'd see him in six months. He hurried to shower and dress. When he made it into the kitchen, he found JJ and her mom, dressed in jeans and sweaters. They talked and laughed as Sandy pulled something wonderful smelling from the oven. "Oh," she said and gave him a happy smile. "You're just in time, Spencer."

"Smells delicious," he assessed as he poured out a mug of coffee.

"I told mom she didn't have to do this, but she insisted."

"Spencer's too thin. He needs the calories."

"Mom," JJ protested as Reid turned pink.

"I'm teasing you, honey."

"Sorry, Spence. Mom loves the holidays and it brings out the _wacky_ part of her personality."

"Don't worry about it," he said as he busied himself with adding three teaspoons of sugar to his coffee.

"I told you, mom. Spencer has the metabolism of a rabbit on speed. I hate him."

He grinned at them and sipped his coffee. Sandy chuckled and began to portion out her specialty. "Men can always lose weight whenever they want, Jenny, it's a fact of life."

"I don't have to like it."

"Happy New Year," Reid said and smirked at his wife.

"Bite me," she suggested, and her mother shook her head. "Jenny."

"It's okay, Jennifer talks a big game, but she's a softie at heart."

"Keep it up, and you won't get to partake of mom's special New Year's Day breakfast casserole," JJ threatened.

"Enough wisecracks, let's enjoy brunch."

"I agree," Reid said. "I'm starved."

After a long, leisurely breakfast, they carried mugs of hot spiced cider that JJ had made, to the living room.

"Mom," JJ brought Sandy a beautifully wrapped gift she'd collected from under their Christmas tree. "This is from both of us."

"Oh, thank you, my dears." Sandy tore off the paper and squealed delightedly. "Yes, just what I wanted."

The large, hard-bound book featured photographs of faces from around the world, in countless poses and candid shots.

"You said you wanted pictures of people in exotic places for your coffee table.

"Yes, this is amazing. Look at this little girl," Sandy pointed to a stark, black and white photo. The small child stood with her mother on a rutted dirt road with fields behind them and a lonely tree in the foreground. "I could never carry a basket on my head."

"Actually, carrying loads on one's head is a marvelous method of natural movement exercise. These women start as little girls, so their neck muscles are trained and become stronger over time. They walk with a smooth gait and have exemplary posture, balance and muscle control. Also, they normally place a cloth or some other padding on the top of their head to cushion the load."

Sandy raised her eyebrows and JJ chuckled. "That's my Spence, a man who knows a little about almost any subject."

"Hm…" Sandy said as she tried not to laugh. "I remember taking a modeling class and we had to balance a book on our heads."

"Do you remember the county fair and the year we saw that female contortionist. She got her body into positions I still can't believe." JJ reminisced.

"Yeah, Rosaline wanted to be a contortionist," Sandy said.

"I remember," JJ said with a wistful smile.

"You never wanted to be in the circus as some kids. I remember once you said that the lion tamer was dumb for getting into the cage with the lion."

"Did I?"

"Yep."

"I don't remember."

"You were six at the time."

"Hm, I guess I never thought joining the circus was something fun," JJ mused.

They were silent for a moment until Sandy said. "I have a gift for both of you." She left to fetch a gift bag from her room.

"What is it," JJ wondered.

"It helps to look," Sandy said.

"I suppose," JJ said and withdrew tissue paper from the bag. "Oh mom, where did you find this?"

"What is it?"

JJ held up a beautiful crocheted blanket made from snowy white yarn and lace. "This was Rosaline's when she was a baby."

"I had it in storage and when you told me that you and Spencer had decided to try for a baby, I got it out and had it cleaned."

"Mom, I don't – are you sure, after all, it was Rosaline's and -"

"It's okay, Jenny. I know you're trying at this point, but I hope you'll get to experience the joy of having a child can be. You are my greatest happiness, daughter."

"Oh, mom, I love you. Thank you."

"Yeah, thanks, it's beautiful."

"You're welcome."

"Now that I've made it clear what I expect from you - soon, I think we should go for a walk. The weather is good, and I need it after that brunch."

Reid groaned and the women chuckled. "It'll do you good," JJ sided with her mother as she carefully folded the blanket.

"Okay," Reid agreed because he knew he wouldn't win against two Jareau women. "Let's go."


	22. Chapter 22

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n we're jumping through time again to "Uncanny Valley," one of my all time favorite episodes. I love seeing Reid lose his temper. When season five originally aired there was a about six weeks between "Slave of Duty and Uncanny Valley," airing times, so I'm putting that same time jump in my story. _**

JJ stretched her arms over her head and groaned. She'd finished her ran and needed a shower, but first, she needed more water. She went to the fridge and opened it, only to find that they were down to two bottles. She sighed and decided it was a good excuse to go into town and restock the larder. She guzzled down some cold water, then headed for the shower.

"Hey," Reid said as they met in the hall. "Shower is _all _yours."

"Thank you, babe. What are you going to this afternoon?"

"I thought I'd read."

She smirked at her husband. "Hm, a new activity for you."

He tugged on the ends of her hair. "Not funny, Mrs. Reid."

"I need to go shopping after lunch; you want to join me."

When he made a face, she chuckled and shook her head. "All right, I'll take care of it, but the next time it's your turn, Dr. Reid."

"In that case, I think I might go to the park and read, or play chess."

She put a hand on his tie. "Are you sure you're ready to go back. I know how much Gideon meant to you as a chess partner."

"I'm fine, Jennifer," he leaned in for a kiss. "I want to go back."

"Then, go and have fun."

"You go take a shower," he said, and wrinkled his nose."

She narrowed her eyes at him and tugged on his hair. "Not nice, Spence."

"Sorry, but you are a little pungent."

"I did say I valued your honesty, didn't I."

"You did."

"Fine, I'll go shower, and you go have fun."

"Thank's I'll see you later."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid put part of his concentration on his book and part of it on Eric, who sat next to him play chess alone. "I see checkmate in five, what do you see," Eric said.

"I see it in three," Reid responded after a glance at the board.

He went back to reading, but couldn't keep the smile from his lips when he saw that Eric understood and played the game to checkmate in three.

"We missed you out here, Spencer.

"Thank you, thanks. I had to take a little break."

"How come?"

"I used to play with a co-worker friend of mine. He was probably the best mind I ever went up against and one day he just decided that he didn't want to play anymore."

"So you gave up too," Eric said, derisively.

"Just the opposite, I attempted to play through every move on a chessboard.

"That's an infinite number of games," Eric said with disbelief.

"It's not infinite; it's just exponentially large."

"You couldn't have played through them all," Eric argued.

"There's an average of forty moved per chess game, and I'll tell you something, the more I played, the more I realized that every single match was a variation on the very same theme. Aggressive opening, patient mid-game and the inevitable checkmate and I realized why my friend quit – he was tired of repeating the exact same pattern and expecting a different outcome."

"So you have a lifetime of chess strategy in your head," Eric continued as Reid's phone rang. "And you're _just_ sitting on it?"

"I still use it, I just apply it differently," Reid said as he read the text. "Sorry, I gotta go. It's good seeing you."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"You okay," Reid asked when JJ came back to her seat on the plane home.

"Yeah, my stomach's been a little upset. I think it was the cheeseburger I had for dinner. Next time I'll think twice about greasy diner food before getting on the jet."

"The apple pie was good," he said and smirked at her as she rolled her eyes. "You can eat anything and it never bothers you."

"That's not true. Remember, dairy, and I don't get along, but I love it."

"Right," she said. "I almost forgot about that."

They sat in silence together, JJ with her head on his shoulder and Reid with a book that he wasn't reading in his hands.

"Now, it's my turn to ask if you're okay," she asked

"I'm fine, just thinking about Samantha Malcolm. How could a father do that to a child? I know he wanted to cover up his crimes, but to damage her for life. Why?"

She rubbed a hand up and down his arm. "Rossi told me what you did for her. You are the kindest, gentlest and most compassionate man I know. You amaze me. You're going to be a great father," she continued in a lower tone.

"Thank you," he closed the book and reached for her hand. "I know I'd never do that to a child."

"No, you wouldn't, and that is why you're the better man."

"Do you think Samantha's victims will be okay?"

"Yeah, I think they will. Rossi also talked about what you did in Dr. Malcolm' office. He said you lost your temper."

"I did."

"Good, I like it when you kick ass."

He smiled and kissed her forehead. "Hey, pretty boy, you can't keep your hands off your wife."

"Shut up, Morgan," JJ said and made their friend laugh.

"Stand down, Blondie. I'm just teasing."

"Right, go away and get some sleep."

"Yes, ma'am, Mrs. Dr. Reid."

Reid put an arm around her and hugged her close. "Go to sleep, Jennifer. Don't mind the rude guy in the peanut gallery."

"Oh, you're so brave now that you're married," Morgan observed.

'Yes, I am, and don't you forget it."

"I won't man."

Morgan watched JJ and Reid together and sighed under his breath. Maybe one day he'd find someone to make him as happy as his friends were together.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ dropped her bag on the sofa and blew out a breath. She stood in the slashes of light seeping through the blinds over their living room window and stretched. She felt utterly exhausted and ready for a good night's sleep, but first, she had a task to perform. She pulled a box from her bag and hurried to their second bathroom. The directions on the package were concise and clear enough for a child to use.

_Child._

A week had passed since she'd first felt nauseous on the jet. She'd thought that it was greasy food, but then the next morning, she'd suffered through more nausea and vomiting. She felt constantly tired and worst of all; she couldn't stand the scent of Spencer's shaving cream, which she thought extremely odd as it wasn't something edible and her mother had always told her that she'd hated the smell of eggs cooking when she was pregnant. Then three days ago she realized she was late and decided that when she had minute she'd get a test.

JJ sighed and opened the box. She followed the instructions on the box to the letter and stood next to the counter waiting for the results. The three minutes she had to wait stretched out for years. She studied her reflection in the mirror and wondered if this were real. Was she ready to be a mother? She and Reid had agreed to start trying, and now less than six weeks later, she was looking at a pregnancy test.

She looked at her watched and waited impatiently for the last minute to tick away. A sudden knock on the door made her jump and her heart pound so hard; she thought it might leap from her chest. "Jennifer, you okay?"

"Yeah, um, just a minute, Spence."

She looked at the test, and more adrenaline pumped into her body, making her feel faint and feverish. She wiped a hand over her forehead and saw that it shook uncontrollably. She drew in and blew out another huge breath, then tried to smile, but couldn't quite manage it. It was positive. She was pregnant! Happiness bloomed inside her like a newly lit candle. She blew out a breath to steady her hands and opened the door.

"What are you doing in here," Reid asked.

She thought he looked adorable in green and white pajama bottoms and a with tee-shirt, with his hair mussed and his eyes sleepy and sexy. "Sorry, I didn't want to wake you, but I see I did after all."

"I wasn't sleeping, at least not completely. I heard you come in, and when you didn't come back to bed – I was concerned."

"Spence. I have something to tell you." She stood back from the door and let him see the pregnancy test on the counter. "I'm pregnant."

He stood stalk still with wide-awake eyes that flicked from her face and back to the test. "You're sure."

"Yes, see for yourself."

He slipped past her into the small room and reached out to touch the test. He saw the pink cross that indicated pregnancy, and then his head dropped, and his shoulders stooped. He seemed to lean on the counter as if he might fall. JJ went to him and put her hands to his face. "Talk to me."

He smiled, and it lit his face like sunlight from within his soul. "I'm so happy, Jennifer. You have no idea."

"I think I do," she said and laid her head on his shoulder. "Come on, let's go to bed. I can see how sleepy you are."

"I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, but I do want to get some sleep. Don't know if I'll be able to with this news."

She paced him as they left the bathroom and turned down the hallway to their bedroom. She went to her closet and changed into her favorite sleeping attire, a tank, and pajama bottoms. She found him already in bed and he smiled and held out a hand. She took it and curled up next to him. "Hm…" she sighed in contentment. "This is more like it."

He kissed the top of her head, the shifted position and slid down to kiss her belly. "Baby, I know you can't hear me yet, but I'm your daddy, and I can't wait for you to be born. I love mommy and you so much it hurts."

Tears filled her eyes and she smiled at him when he moved back to hold her close. "I love you, babe. You have no idea how much."

"I think I do. I can't wait for us to be a family."

He shifted again so he could see her face and her lovely blue eyes in the low light of the table lamp on her nightstand. She had a soft smile that meant love to him whenever he saw it. He touched her shoulder, and she shivered. He drew a hand through her hair, and she closed her eyes. "I love how you touch me," she sighed.

"Good, because I intend to touch you a least once a day for the rest of your life."

"You always know the right thing to say," she said, and tears filled her eyes.

"Hey, I didn't mean to upset you."

She shook her head and wiped her eyes. "You didn't, babe. I'm so happy. I love you."

"I love you, too."

She suddenly burst out into laughter. "What's so funny," he wanted to know.

"It's nothing, just that we only began talking about having a baby less than two months ago and here we are."

"Yeah, I'm a bit stunned."

"Me too, but we're going to be fine, babe. It's going to be so – amazing."

"Yes," he said and happiness filled his lovely eyes. "It's going to be completely remarkable.

"Let's not get too excited. I need to contact my OB and confirm it."

"Right," Reid said. "We'll be sensible and calm while we wait."

She suddenly pumped her fist into the air and whooped. She grabbed her husband and tried to kiss him, but he flipped them over so that she lay beneath him. "Want to recreate the conception, Mrs. Reid."

"If we must," she said and laughed as he began to nuzzle her neck. "You have a magic mouth, Dr. Reid."

He ignored her comment and continued to work his way down. "Mm…" she groaned and decided that talking was highly overrated.


	23. Chapter 23

**_Disclaimer: See my profile._**

**_A/n thanks again to all who continue to support this story by reviewing, adding it to your favorites or following. _**

Reid's leg jiggled up and down as he waited impatiently for JJ's name to be called in the doctor's office. He failed to notice a young woman sitting across the room who stared at him with undisguised curiosity. JJ noticed and reached over to tap Reid on the arm. "Spence, calm down."

He looked up from the book he attempted to read and saw that his wife studied him with twinkling eyes. She motioned with her head in the direction of the woman that watched him. The woman didn't look pregnant but neither did JJ at this point in gestation. He smiled politely and forced himself to calm down and sit quietly with his book.

Another couple entered the waiting area and he noticed that the woman looked to be nearly full term. He glanced back at JJ and began to imagine what she'd look like at the end of her pregnancy. He decided that she'd be beautiful to him no matter how her body changed because she had an inner light that only increased with her happiness of having a child.

"What are you thinking," JJ asked quietly.

"I was trying to imagine what you're going to look like in the last trimester."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "You want to die," she said through clenched teeth.

"No, I mean I was thinking that you're beautiful no matter how your body might change."

She studied him and almost laughed when his face began to go pink in the cheeks. "I'm not sure if I should be mad or happy with that explanation."

"I mean It."

"I see that you do."

A woman with greying blonde hair called out JJ's name before he could speak, which made him very happy. JJ stood and tugged him to his feet. "Come on, it's time to know for sure."

He followed her to the nurse. "Hi Janet, this is my husband, Dr. Spencer Reid."

"Hello," Janet greeted, and they followed her through the door to a small alcove where JJ sat, and Janet wrapped a blood pressure cuff around her arm. "I'm glad to finally meet you. JJ talks about you at every physical."

"I _do_ not," JJ insisted.

"Watch it," Janet said and winked at Reid. "I need an accurate blood pressure reading."

JJ sat back and ignored her husband and the nurse until Janet announced her readings, and then it was time to be weighed. "I see you're here for a pregnancy test."

"Yeah," JJ grinned at Reid who smiled back.

"Then it's time for you to go to the lab and give us a blood sample. Dr. Reid, do you want to stay with her or go to the exam room?"

"No, I'll stay with Jennifer."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ reached for Reid's hand when her OB Dr. Wilma Samuels entered the room, fifteen minutes later. "Hello, Jennifer, how are you?"

"I'm fine but nervous."

"I don't have the results yet, but I will by the end of the day. Let's talk about your symptoms. Is your cycle late?"

"Yes, five days."

"Any morning sickness?"

"Yes, for the last week."

"Have you noticed any spotting or implantation bleeding?"

"No."

"Many women don't notice implantation bleeding," Reid blurted out then went bright red when Dr. Samuels grinned at him. "Sorry."

"No problem."

"He reads a lot," JJ said by way of explanation.

"I see, well what about fatigue and swollen or tender breasts?"

"Yeah, a little of both."

"Any backaches or headaches?"

"No."

"How about unusual food cravings or mood changes."

"Not yet," JJ said.

"Okay. Jennifer, based on your symptoms, I think it is likely that you _are_ pregnant, but we need to wait for the test to confirm. I assume you did a pregnancy test at home."

"It's more likely to see a false negative than a false positive," Reid put in, helpfully.

"Your husband is correct, but we'll wait and see."

"Thank you for seeing me so quickly, Wilma."

"You're welcome," said the doctor. "Just to be certain we find a slot for you, why don't you make a follow-up appointment in a week. If it's positive then you'll be ready for the next steps, if not you can cancel."

"Thank you again."

"It was nice to meet you, Dr. Reid."

"Call me Spencer, please."

"I will and you can call me Wilma. All my patients do."

"Thank you, I will."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"So," JJ said four hours later when they were alone in her office. "You okay."

"I'm just anxious to find out for sure," he said and fidgeted with the sleeve of his grey sweater.

"Yeah, so am I."

Her phone buzzed on her desk two minutes later, she looked at Spencer and he smiled for her. "Answer it," he said, gently.

She picked up the phone and said. "Agent Jareau. Oh, hi Janet. Yeah. _Really_. Yes, thank you. Thank you, bye."

She dropped her phone and jumped into his arms. "It's official," she cried out. "I'm pregnant. Janet said about six weeks."

"Oh, Jennifer," he said and kissed her until he couldn't draw breath. "Thank you," he whispered and laid a gentle hand on her belly. "I knew you were there," he said

"I knew it, too," she agreed. "We're going to be parents."

"I love you, Jennifer Jareau Reid."

"I love you, Spencer Reid."

"So," he said as they made their way to JJ's car half an hour later. "Do you want to tell the rest of the team?"

"No, but I think we should inform Hotch. I want to wait to tell the others until I'm past my first trimester."

"I agree," he said and shivered in the cold January air.

"Come on, let's get to the car and we'll celebrate at the "Indian Pearl."

He grinned at her as they climbed into the vehicle and out of the early winter night. Darkness had laid its claims to the world again, but soon the sun would chase away the night as it did with the coming of every morning. Until it did, he'd stay warm by holding onto JJ and their baby with every ounce of his love.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"Do you want to tell your mom," JJ asked a few days later when they were enjoying a quiet Sunday afternoon in their living room.

He was composing a letter to his mother and had paused to think about his next paragraph. He looked up at her and sighed. "Sometimes you amaze me with how well you can read me."

"Living with one of the best profilers in the world rubs off on a girl," she quipped.

"I was thinking if I should tell her or wait until we tell the team. I – well I guess I'm a little afraid – sorry, I didn't mean to say that –"

"Babe, don't apologize for your fears. I was thinking yesterday about calling my mom and then I thought what if something happens before I'm in my second trimester. Then I was so mad at myself for thinking such a thing."

"Why?" he slid over from where he'd been reading and tugged her close.

"Because I don't want my thoughts to become reality, Spence."

"Jennifer, you're not going to cause a miscarriage just by thinking of all the things that could go wrong. Believe me, the moment you told me that you could be pregnant every birth defect I've researched flashed into my head and for once I wished I _didn't_ read a lot."

She chuckled a little and lay her head on his shoulder. She covered his hand with her hands when he touched her belly. "I'm glad you read as much as you do, Spence. It's comforting in a weird way."

He grinned at her and said to the baby. "Your mother is a master of backhanded compliments."

"Your father better watch his step, little one or I might have to kick his ass."

"Don't hurt me," he said. "I promise not to annoy the pregnant lady."

"You have a cute ass, Spence. It'd be a shame to kick it."

"I'm glad to discover you still have a sense of humor."

"What would I do without you?"

"You'll never have to know because I'm not going anywhere, Mrs. Reid."

They sat together in a contented silence until he asked. "You going to tell your mother."

"No, not now. I agree with you to wait until we pass the first trimester. Mom will understand and she'll be thrilled when we do tell her."

"What do you think that other's will say," he wondered as he brushed his fingers through her hair.

"I think you're in for several weeks of jokes from Morgan about your, "prowess," in the bedroom."

"I think you're correct, unfortunately."

"Hey, you know that Garcia will want intimate details and Emily will try to tell her to stop, but it's all an act because she'll want to know just as badly as Penelope. Rossi will congratulate us and then step back from it all."

"So, what do we do."

"I think we weather the storm, and if they become too intrusive or mouthy, we'll kill them and hide the bodies."

He threw back his head and laughed. "Oh, Jen, thank you for the laugh," he managed to say after several minutes.

"I wasn't kidding," she said, but she grinned at him and he shook his head. "Remind me never to make you angry."

"You better not," she said and kissed him. "I don't want to hurt the father of my baby."

"That's a relief."

She cuddled into his side and sighed with happiness. The day was ending, but she had everything she wanted or needed right there in one small room.

CMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ tapped on Hotch's door early the next morning. "Hey, can we talk to you?" She asked and stepped inside with Reid trailing after her.

"Of course, shut the door."

Hotch watched them as they entered and nearly smiled at the way they looked at each other with such love. For a minute, he remembered Hayley and the love he'd once seen in her eyes. Pain, still fresh and deep in his heart tried to rise to the surface, but he forced it back into that place in his head meant only for her.

"What can I do for you?"

"Um, we have something to tell you. JJ," Reid said to his wife.

"I'm pregnant."

"That's wonderful," Hotch said and a smile that felt so unfamiliar at work lit up his eyes and changed his entire aspect.

"Thank you, Hotch," Reid said.

"Yes, thank you," JJ said. "Um, we'd like to keep this to ourselves for a few weeks, just until I make it past my first trimester."

"Understood," Hotch said. "May I ask when you're due?"

"In September. We don't have an exact date yet. We'll know more at the first ultrasound in about four weeks."

"Please let me know if there is anything I can do and when you have to stop flying."

"We will, thank you again, Hotch."

"You're welcome and congratulations."

"Thanks."

Hotch watched them leave and he sat back in his chair. The memory of Hayley telling him Jack was on the way burst into his mind and he couldn't stop a tear from sliding down his cheek. He hastily wiped it away and forced his attention back to work.


	24. Chapter 24

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n thanks again for your kind support of this story. We're up to "Risky Business." Please enjoy. _**

JJ put aside a stack of files she needed to distribute and put a hand on her belly. A baby! It didn't seem real and yet she knew it was true. There was a life growing inside her that she'd conceived with a man she loved more than her life. Reid had changed her, made her see the world around her in a different light. Every time she saw how he perceived the world, it was as though something new bloomed in her and she longed for more moments of simple clarity.

Her phone rang and she answered with a happy "Agent Jareau."

Minutes later, her happiness over her pregnancy slipped away like beads falling from a broken necklace. She looked at the small, red box at her right and picked it up. She opened it and removed the simple gold heart pendant from its depths. She put it on and swallowed hard.

_Rosaline._

Her sister had given it to her the day before she – no, she had to push it back for now. There were other teenagers in trouble. She could feel it in her gut, and she had to help, for Rosaline. She picked up her notes and went to Hotch's office.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ met Reid's eyes when they gathered in the conference room and she began to make her case for an equivocal death investigation. She knew he noticed her pendant and only compassion filled his eyes when skepticism and confusion lived in the eyes of her team. She didn't blame them. What if she and Sheriff Samuels were wrong?

"Hey," Reid said softly as she walked toward the jet thirty minutes later. "You okay, Jen?"

"No," she avoided his eyes because if she looked into their depths, she'd give in to the tears that threatened just below the surface. "We'll talk later, okay."

She didn't notice that he watched her with worried eyes until they landed, but when they did, he gave her hand a squeeze and the quiet strength of his fingers bolstered her courage. Then, she made the mistake of using the word if, with grieving parents. The expression on Hotch's face cut her to the core, but she couldn't take it back.

The certain knowledge that the suicides were accidental didn't give her the relief she hoped for and saving a young man from the torture of his father, didn't bring comfort to her soul. If only…

JJ sighed and stood watching Sherriff Samuels as the case came to an end. She let the LEO thank her for bringing out the team to Idaho and helping them stop the deadly game, and she boarded the plane as nothing happened, but she couldn't bring herself to sit next to Spence and talk, just yet. Emily provided a distraction with her star puzzle, and JJ finally smiled when her husband put it together in five seconds flat.

After Emily made the comment, "There's a lot to hate about you Dr. Reid," JJ rose, went for coffee and Hotch found her there.

The story of Rosaline spilled out of her to him and she saw only compassion in his eyes. When she told him that she thought of Rosaline every day and that it would get better for him, she felt something tug away from her heart. Some of her intense pain fell away as though she'd finally found the courage to face what Rosaline had done and to know that her sister was at peace. It wasn't all-consuming, and the ache still lived in her heart and always would, but as she told Hotch, it would get better.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

When JJ entered her home, three hours later, she smelled something delicious in the air. She hoped that it was dinner. "Spence," she called out.

"In here," he responded from the direction of the bedroom.

She kicked off her shoes and tugged off her socks, leaving them lying on the carpet in front of the sofa. She noticed that his coat hung over the couch and his shoes were next to the door. She smiled, shook her head and trudged down the hallway toward their room. "Babe, the food smells divine, where did –"

She stopped and stared at candles burning on every surface. Their glow illuminated the king size bed covered with scarlet rose petals. Their perfume subtlety scented the air as she looked around for her mate. He wasn't there, however, so she went to the bathroom and found him standing there in a pair of boxer shorts, a white dress shirt unbuttoned and showing his chest, bare feet, and smile and a glass of champagne in his hand. "Hello," he said, quietly.

"Hello," she answered and saw more candles and a bottle chilling in their ice bucket, a second glass and the bathtub full of bubbles.

"What are you doing?"

"I thought I'd give you an in-home spa treatment," he said.

"Babe, you didn't –"

"Shh… You don't have to talk – about anything. Relax and let me take care of my gestating paramour."

"Gestating," she said as her eyebrows went up. "Seriously."

"Do you prefer, baby mama?"

She threw back her head and laughed. It was so good to let go of the tension she'd held for two days. "No! You sound like Garcia or Morgan."

He snickered and gestured to the bathtub. "I thought you could soak and I'll take care of dinner."

"Hm… sounds good."

She stripped off her clothing and took the glass of golden liquid. "Wait, this is sparkling cider, right?"

"Of course."

She tasted it and the ice-cold fluid made her shiver, so she stepped into the hot water, sat and sighed. "Oh, this is heaven."

"I thought you'd like it. Now, you stay here, and I'll leave you alone."

"Thank you, babe."

"You're welcome."

She leaned back and sipped more of her cider. The taste made her shiver and she slid lower into the water until it reached her chin. She closed her eyes and began to remember a day when she was eight and Rosaline had been thirteen. They'd found a new litter of kittens in the barn and had stayed all day watching them crawl over each other and their mother. They'd named them all and had decided that they would take care of them all alone to show their parents they were responsible. It had been a wonderful summer day before the shadow of Rosaline's suicide fell over the family and shattered it forever.A tear slid down her face as the memories played in her head and she wiped it away.

Ten minutes later, she left the tub and pulled on a favorite pink and white terry cloth robe with a hood and she grabbed her slippers. She padded to the kitchen and found her sweet husband plating up Greek Gyros and lemon rice. "I swear you can read my mind," JJ said. "How did you know what I wanted?"

He merely smiled at her. "A magician –"

"Never reveals his secrets," she finished. "I know, Spence."

He smirked at her and said. "You ready to eat?"

"Yeah."

She noticed that he'd pulled on a robe, too, and that he watched her with concern and love in his eyes. They comforted her without speaking and she discovered she was famished. "That was delicious. Thank you."

"Well, it's not too spicy and I figured that since your morning sickness has somewhat diminished, we'd be safe eating some Greek food."

"I hope you're right," she said.

"I am," he said confidently. "Now, I'm going to clean up and while I do, I want you to go lie down. I'm going to give you a massage."

"Yes, sir," she decided not to argue with him because she could see that he was trying hard to relieve the stress of buried memories coming to the surface.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"Hm…" she sighed as his hands slid over her shoulders and down her back. They worked out tension and knots from her muscles and soon she thought she'd fall asleep.

"Close your eyes, Jen."

"Hm," she sighed again and let her eyes fall shut.

When she opened them it was still dark, but she was beneath her blankets and curled up next to her husband. She didn't know how long she'd slept, but she felt relaxed and rested in a way she hadn't felt for years. "Thank you, Spence," she said quietly.

"Jen," she heard him answer. "You okay."

"Didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay. I _was_ sleeping, but I had a wonderful dream that woke me."

"What?" she asked as he shifted to hug her tight.

"I dreamed that we were near the ocean. I think it was California. You were there, and our baby. I was holding her and you were talking to my mom."

"Her," she said. "The baby was a girl."

"Yes, and she looked exactly like her mother. She had your eyes and your beautiful smile. She was _so_ amazing she took my breath away."

"It sounds wonderful, babe."

"It was and my mom was cured, Jen. She could talk and laugh and enjoy everything around her."

"Honey."

"It's okay," he said, and he feathered his fingers through her hair. "I know it can't come true, and I don't believe in dream analysis, so I'm going to enjoy feeling _so_ happy."

"Good," she kissed the corner of his mouth. One of her hands drifted down and gripped him. "Jen." He breathed.

"Shh," she said and began to glide her hand up and down until he was hard as a rock. "I want the final phase of my relaxation night."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid found his wife on the sofa, curled up with a book and wearing grey sweat pants and a pink and white teeshirt. "Hey," he said and joined her when she sat up.

"Hi," she tucked herself into his arms and sighed happily. "Thank you for _everything_."

"You're welcome. I hate seeing you so stressed and unhappy."

"I told Hotch about Rosaline."

"Oh."

"Yeah, and I told him it will get better."

"Oh, Jennifer."

"It's okay," She looked up at him. "I mean it for him _and_ for me. I can look back on her and remember the good times without pain stabbing me in the gut, but now I wish she were here to know this little one," she put her hand on her abdomen. "I was thinking she'd get a kick out of shopping for baby clothes and throwing a baby shower."

Tears welled up in the blue eyes he loved. "I'm _so_ sorry," he whispered. "What can I do?"

"You're doing it. You support me and love me always."

"I always will."

"Then I'll be okay," she said.

"We're all going to be okay together," he said and put his hand over hers. "Isn't that right, little one."

"He can't hear you yet, daddy."

He smirked at her. "He?"

"Yeah. I want a little boy that looks exactly like his father. I want him to be kind, gentle, intelligent, strong, compassionate. Everything that you are is what I want."

"Hm… you do know that one of us won't get our wish."

"I know, and I'll love a boy or a girl."

"As will I."

"Our lives are going to change," she said as they watched cars drive by on the street in the afternoon sunshine.

"Yes, but I believe that it's going to be for the best."

"Say that when it's three in the morning and you're changing a diaper."

"Well, I suppose it will take getting used to, but I don't care as long as I have you here."

"I agree," she said. "Now, I think we should take a nap.

"I think that's the best idea you've had today, my love."


	25. Chapter 25

**_Disclaimer: see my profile._**

**_A/n hello all, once again, thank you for your kind support. This chapter deals with Mosley Lane. _**

Reid took a seat on the park bench next to JJ and tried to catch his breath. "I can't believe you can run like that at twelve weeks pregnant."

She smirked at him and tousled his long hair back from his face. "Honey, I'm sorry to break it to you, but that was slow for me."

He sighed and took a swig from his bottle of water. "You're kidding?"

"No, and you would _know_ that if you ran with me more often."

"I don't see the appeal of sweating and risking injury to your knees and your back. Did you know that running is the highest impact of all aerobic exercises?"

"Yes, but the upside is that I get a runner's high, Spence. The endorphins released with vigorous exercise can help with pain, depression, lower blood pressure, etcetera."

He leaned over to her and whispered in her ear. "I can think of vigorous exercise _without_ dangerous impact to the joints."

She reached back and tugged hard on a lock of his sweaty hair.

"Ow," he complained. "What was _that_ for?"

"Don't play innocent with me, mister."

He rubbed his head, then took another drink from his water and she chugged down half her bottle. "I can't help myself. You're sexier with every passing day."

She narrowed her eyes at him but found that she couldn't stay mad because his eyes twinkled, and he smiled broadly. "If you think that flattery will save you from my wrath, you're mistaken."

"Truce," he suggested.

"Perhaps, if you behave until we get back to the house."

"Then, I suggest we go." he shot to his feet and ran like he might be chased by the devil.

She swore and sprinted after him, but the urge to laugh made her slow. Still, she caught up to him a block from home and they slowed to a walk. He grabbed her hand and they continued in contented silence to the house.

"Dibs on the shower," she said and ran for the bathroom.

He tore after her and joined her despite her attempts to keep him out. After all, he reasoned as he slipped out of his sweaty clothing, two in the shower meant less hot water used.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"You owe me," JJ said later after she'd dried her hair and brushed it smooth. "I was _not_ in the mood for shower sex. Can't a girl just wash her hair in peace."

"I would thank you," Reid said as he buttoned his shirt. "But I know you enjoyed our water games."

"Nice," she said. "Since when are you so flippant."

"When I married you."

She threw her towel at him. "A genius like you should know that you're treading on shaky ground."

"I'm sorry."

"I'd believe you if you weren't grinning like a satisfied cat."

"Jennifer," he dared to approach and put his arms around his irritated wife. "I know enough about conjugal relations to be sure that there are times when you're not as enthusiastic as I am, and yet you don't complain. Men equate sex with love and women are in it for the emotional connection, which means there will be times you're not in the mood and there will be times I won't be."

She pushed him away and began to chuckle. "Hasn't happened yet."

"I'll give you that," he admitted.

She eyed him speculatively. "I suppose we better enjoy it while we can because after the baby is born, we'll be too exhausted."

He frowned, "I hate to admit it, but you're probably right."

"Speaking of the baby, do you want to tell the team."

He finished tying his shoes as she pulled on a pink sweater and navy-blue slacks. "I suppose it is time."

"Don't pout, darling. We can't keep it a secret forever. You can deal with Morgan's teasing and Garcia's enthusiasm. I believe in you."

"Jennifer!"

"I do! You're not the same man I met four years ago. You're more confident in your skin. It's very attractive."

"Say what you think has merit," he said as he watched her put on lipstick. "That won't stop Morgan from teasing me, or Garcia from spoiling the baby."

"No, but you have me, and I'll be the voice of reason, or I'll kick Morgan's ass."

"I have no doubt," he said and kissed the top of her head. "Let's make a deal. You hold him down and I'll beat him up."

She laughed until her phone began to beep. "Damn it."

She answered and her face took on an expression that he recognized. "Yes, we'll be right here."

"Work," he said.

"Yep, our Saturday's over. We have a child abduction from a fair less than thirty minutes ago."

He sighed and held out his hand. "Let's go."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"Guys," Morgan got the attention of the group after Sarah Hillridge left with Charlie and Jake.

He and Reid had joined the remainder of the team as they put away case files and cleared the murder board.

"You want to go celebrate at O'Keefe's?"

"Yes," Rossi, Emily, and Garcia said in unison.

"Ah, guys, before we leave, Spence and I have something we need to tell you."

Everyone turned their attention to the couple. "Don't tell me there's trouble in paradise already." Rossi teased.

"Yeah, what did you do, Pretty Boy," Morgan asked.

JJ glanced at her husband and raised her eyebrows, he nodded, and she said in a calm tone despite the uproar around them. "He got me pregnant."

Emily blinked. "Shh," she snapped at Morgan. "_What_ did you say?"

"I said, I'm pregnant."

Garcia hurtled into JJ's arms. "Yes," she shouted. "It's about time."

JJ managed to extract herself from Garcia's hug without bruising to her ribs. "Pen, we've only been married a few months."

"Yeah," Morgan said, "Calm down, Baby Girl."

"I can't," Garcia squealed. "JJ's going to have a gorgeous blonde baby genius."

"Slow down," JJ retreated to Reid's side and clasped his hand. "We have no idea if the baby will be blonde _or_ a genius."

"Congratulations," Hotch said, as Rossi kissed them both on their cheeks and grinned. "Yes, congratulations."

"Thanks."

"Hey," Emily hugged Reid and then JJ. "I'm so happy for you both. How are you feeling, JJ?"

Emily inspected her friend as Morgan hugged Reid and slapped his back. "I'm fine."

"Is she," Emily turned to Reid.

"Yes. She's great."

JJ beamed at him and Morgan said. "Oh, look at the happy couple."

"You're just jealous," JJ said.

Morgan put a hand to his heart. "Woah, Blondie. That's cold."

"That's what you get for all your smart remarks in the last five years."

"Wait," Garcia held up a hand. "If your past twelve weeks, that means you've already had an ultrasound. Where is it?"

JJ blinked then glanced and Reid who shrugged. "We didn't think about bringing it in, Pen."

"What? You must let me see baby Reid. I demand it."

"There's nothing to see," Reid said and nearly flinched at Garcia's expression. "The baby is the size of a grain of rice."

"Yeah, PG, the tech had to circle the baby on the print out because Spence and I couldn't see it."

"Please let me see it," Garcia begged. "I need to come up with names."

"Wow, baby-girl, first of all, that's their job," Morgan wagged a finger between the couple, "And second, you need to take it easy. Reid and JJ got it all under control."

"Yeah," JJ assured her friend. "I promise we'll let you see the ultrasound if you promise not to spoil the baby."

"Oh, peaches," Garcia protested. "I have to spoil the genetically perfect offspring of Jennifer Jareau Reid and Dr. Spencer Reid. This baby's going to be beautiful, smart, athletic, kind, kick-ass and –"

"Mama, we get it," Morgan said. "Can we talk about something else?"

"Yes, celebrating," Rossi suggested.

"I can't go with you to O'Keefe's," JJ said. "No alcohol for the baby on board," she put a hand on her abdomen.

"Ah, that's so cute," Garcia gushed.

"Let's go to Fellini's," Rossi said. "Mama Fellini makes the best Carbonaro, after mine, of course. We'll get nonalcoholic vino for you," Rossi gave JJ a slight bow.

"What do you think?" JJ asked her husband. "Do we go out with these crazy people or go home and spend a quiet evening?"

Reid observed his team and thought that he wanted a quiet night, but he couldn't stop thinking about the case. Perhaps an evening with his best friends outside of work would help him decompress.

"Yeah, I think I can handle it."

Morgan tousled his hair. "Oh, someone is confident."

Reid smiled at his wife and she squeezed his hand. "Come on," she said. "Let's go enjoy Mama Fellini's amazing pasta."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"So," JJ joined Reid in bed after they'd spent an evening on food and laughter. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"I know you talked to Sarah Hillridge about Charlie. I wondered what you were feeling."

"She knew her son was alive and with all my faith in statistics and facts, I can't understand it, fully. My mom says that mother's feel things, that they're animals. I never thought it was true until today. Maybe we must rely on faith in some situations, what do you think?"

"I know that I feel terrible for putting her off every year as a woman that wouldn't face the truth. Now that I'm going to be a mother, I get how she must feel. She was so kind to us at the end and thanked us. How could she when I never believed her?"

"You did," He reached over and touched her hair. "You did when it counted, and we saved three children's lives. That means something to the parents."

He'd never forget the expression on the faces of the families that reunited and the families that lost all hope. How do you celebrate life given and life taken in concert? How did Steven's parents reconcile losing him just a day before their others were found? Would they take comfort in the fact that he'd died saving a life?

"I know you're right, but I feel like it never ends. There's always someone else out there."

Spencer went very quiet. JJ studied him and touched his arm. "What're you thinking?"

"I was thinking about our baby. Jen, what are we going to do when it comes? I don't like the thought that both of us will continue to risk our lives. It's different with us because we're adults and we understand, but what if something happens to one or both of us."

She sighed and dropped her shoulders. She firmed her lips and met his eyes. "I've been thinking about it too, Spence. I love my job, but I don't know what I'll feel like when the baby is born. I don't want to change, but you're right it's not fair to put ourselves into danger when we have a child."

"On the other hand, there are married couples in the FBI who make it just fine with kids." he pointed out.

"You're right," she agreed and shifted to lay her head on his shoulder.

"I love the smell of your hair," he said and hugged her close. "It reminds me that we're always here for each other."

"I like the beat of your heart," She laid her hand on his chest. "I don't want to lose it."

"Hey," He said, and she lifted her head to find him frowning down at her. "I'm not going anywhere, Jen. I'm sorry if talking about the dangers of our job made you afraid."

"I'm not afraid. I just want all of us to be happy and safe. Is that _too_ much to ask from the universe?"

She reached up and began to finger her pendant. He covered her hand and squeezed. "No, that's not too much to ask."

"Maybe we should table this discussion for a different time and enjoy this rare moment of quiet."

He nodded and then yawed so widely, that she began to laugh. "I nearly saw your toenails, this time."

"I think you're exaggerating."

She wiggled her eyebrows and made him laugh. "Come on, Mrs. Reid. It's getting late. You and the baby need rest."

She switched off her bedside lamp and snuggled down beside her husband. He laid a gentle hand on her abdomen and said. "Hi, baby. Another day is done. Your mama and I love you very much. Stay safe and grow strong."

"I love to listen to you talk to the baby," she said into the comforting darkness around them.

"I love talking to the baby."

"Get some sleep," she said quietly.

"Yes, ma'am."


	26. Chapter 26

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

JJ reclined on the partially raised exam table with her feet dangling over the edge. She held Reid's hand and tried to keep her breathing under control as they waited for the doctor and the ultrasound tech. Her husband smiled down at her and squeezed her hand tight. She saw the trepidation in his eyes and understood the provenance of his nerves. Even though it was their second ultrasound, this test was different, this time they would find out the sex of the baby.

"Jen," he said softly. "It's going to be okay."

"You should take your advice. You look like you're about to zone out on me."

"I'm fine," he insisted. "I'm a _little_ anxious to find out if the baby is healthy."

"It is," she assured him. "The baby is healthy and growing like a weed," she joked as she put her hands on the slight curve of her abdomen. "Soon, I'm going to resemble a whale."

"That's what they all say," said Dr. Samuels as she entered the room with Rhonda, the ultrasound tech.

JJ blew out a breath and turned her gaze to the ultrasound machine. "I want to see the baby, Wilma."

"You first-time parents are so edgy," Dr. Samuels teased. "You're lucky that I'm as excited as you to see what we have growing inside my favorite patient."

Rhonda, a small woman with thin arms, legs, and blond hair cut short to frame her face, smeared gel over JJ's belly. Her large hazel eyes were fixed on the computer screen as she adjusted the transducer and hit a few keys on the wireless keyboard. She wore a pair of purple scrubs, white shoes, and a kind expression.

"There we go," said Dr. Samuels as the baby appeared on screen and the thrumming heartbeat filled the room with proof of a new life.

"I wish we could hear that every day," JJ said as tears collected in her eyes.

"So do I," Reid agreed as his eyes stayed glued to the screen.

"Everything looks great," Rhonda commented, and she began to show them different developing organs, the baby's tiny hands and feet, and the string of little pearls that made up its spinal column.

"Agreed," said Dr. Samuels. "You're right on track. We can definitively say that your due date is Labor Day."

Reid couldn't stop the smirk that took residence on his face. "Appropriate," he teased.

"Not funny," JJ shot back and squeezed his hand so tight, he tugged it free from her grasp.

"Hey."

She turned innocent blue eyes to him. "I'm just showing you what to expect when I'm in labor and you're holding my hand. It's possible that the pain may cause me to – overreact."

He pursed his lips and rolled his eyes while Rhonda and Dr. Samuels chuckled. "I'm sorry."

"Accepted," JJ said, and he smiled.

"If you two are done with the comedy routine, would you like to know the sex of your baby."

The couple nodded in unison and Rhonda repositioned the transducer. "Looks like you have a little girl."

Reid felt his heart jump into his throat and his eyes began to sting. "Really?"

"Yep," Rhonda showed him what she saw in the screen and he smiled so wide his mouth began to hurt.

"Good news, I take it," Dr. Samuels asked JJ.

"Oh yeah," she said, and a tear rolled down her cheek. "Spence was convinced."

"What about you?" Dr. Samuels asked.

"Well, I thought a cute little boy with his father's looks might be adorable, but I'm ecstatic for a healthy girl. I can't _wait_ to shop."

"Jen," Reid groaned, and the woman laughed at him.

"You know that once Garcia finds out, she'll bury us in cute clothes. I want the chance to buy some outfits before she goes crazy," JJ informed him.

"Fine, but_ I_ get to buy the books."

Dr. Samuels chuckled at his serious assertion. "I don't think she's old enough to read, Spencer."

"Doesn't matter," JJ put in before he could reply. "Spence is determined that his child will love to read."

"He's right," Dr. Samuels said and made him beam. "Studies have shown that children who are read to from a young age do better in school."

"Then I think you better stock up on books," JJ told him.

"I will," he promised.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"So," JJ asked when they reached the car. "When do you want to tell the team?"

"Tomorrow," he said.

She grinned over at him as she started her car. "I've never seen you so excited. That smile on your face makes me happy, babe."

"Are you," he wondered. "I know you wanted a boy."

"Spence, I _am_ beyond happy. I only care if she's healthy and strong. I love my little girl."

"So, do I," he said and reached over to touch her abdomen. "I wish I could feel her kick."

"Soon," she assured him. "In a few weeks, she'll be kicking hard enough to make her mother cranky."

He laughed and ducked away when she glanced over at him with violence in her eyes. "Keep your eyes on the road," he said as he chuckled.

"Cute. Take care, or you'll sleep on the couch tonight."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ stayed late looking at case files to make up for taking time off to go to the doctor. Reid had tried to convince her to leave, and when she wouldn't, he'd stayed on to wait for her and catch up with his paperwork.

She was about to leave when she got the call about a suicide in Atlanta that didn't add up. When the paperwork came through on the fax machine, she stared in amazement and went to find Hotch.

After they arrived at the small out of the way cabin where the man had blown out his brains, she wondered if she'd be able to keep her lunch in her stomach. It was hot, humid and decomp was setting in rapidly. She decided to focus on the wall of his victims and help the team figure out what this man had done to them.

The faces of the women on the wall increased her nausea. She tried not to think of the torture they'd suffered before the man behind her had taken their lives. She put a hand on her abdomen and made a silent promise that _no_ man would hurt her girl in such a manner.

When they determined that Rebecca Daniels might be alive, they all put their full attention on finding her. JJ found it difficult to maintain her attention she heard Morgan and Emily call Spence over and then he sat down on a stack of boxes and began to read. She loved to watch him read because he had the ability to shut out everything around him. Spence once told her that when he read, he could hear the words in his head as though the writer spoke to him. This time, he came back to life during the profile and came up with the conclusion that the killer had a partner.

Later, she left the stifling and stomach-turning crime scene to talk to the press. They wanted to run with the story, but she convinced them to hold off. Unfortunately, the local LEO's told them everything which complicated matters considerably and made her want to give them all a strongly worded piece of her mind.

The revelation that his partner was a woman sent chills down her spine. How could any woman participate in the rape and murder of another? To her, it was the ultimate betrayal of their sex and anger flashed into her blood, making her cold, then hot. She clamped down on it and did the job. Thanks to the efforts of the lead detective, they found Rebecca and the baby born of two psychopathic personalities.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ joined Reid on the jet after he lost a poker hand to Emily. He ignored her and shuffled through the deck, as he muttered to himself about never losing and how did she do it?

"Hey, babe," JJ said and smirked when he continued to go through the cards as if he'd lost his best friend. "Spence."

He finally looked up at her and the confusion in his eyes almost made her laugh. "What?"

"Why are you muttering?"

"I lost."

"Yeah, I got that. _Why_ is that such a problem?"

"I _never_ lose."

"Honey, it's not the end of the world. You –" She stopped and put a hand to her abdomen.

"What's wrong?"

"The baby's kicking– hard. I can feel it with my hand."

She reached for his hand and placed it on the left side of her belly. He waited and suddenly a small movement, like a light tap on a door hit his palm. "Wow."

She grinned at the happy light in his eyes. "What do you think?"

"It's amazing. I know that babies kick to explore movement and strengthen their muscles, but this is – I don't know how to describe it."He leaned down and whispered. "Hi, my little princess. I love you."

"What did you say?" Emily asked as she returned from the lavatory.

JJ looked at Reid and he nodded. It wasn't what they'd planned, but good news after such a terrible case was gold. "I was talking to our daughter."

"It's a girl," Emily said, and her dark eyes lit up. "That's wonderful. Congratulations."

"Congratulations for _what,_" Morgan wanted to know as he pulled off his headphones. "I'm _trying_ to sleep."

"Our baby is a girl. We wanted to tell you guys at the BAU, but –"

"A girl," Morgan said and grinned from ear to ear. "Wait till I call Garcia."

"What's going on?" Rossi wondered.

"Might as well tell them," JJ said to Reid.

"We're having a girl."

Hotch and Rossi wished them well and Rossi said. "We need to have a toast."

"I can't drink," JJ reminded him.

"I know, but I think we can find an acceptable substitute when we get back," Hotch said and shocked Reid by smiling so widely it changed his entire face.

"Of course, we can," Rossi added. "I have just the thing in my office."

"Why doesn't it surprise me that you would," Emily put in.

"Hush," Rossi retorted and they all laughed.

JJ settled back a few minutes later and rested her head on Reid's shoulder. "Spence?"

"Hm…"

"I talked to Rossi and Hotch about the baby boy. They said he'd probably be alright if he grows up in a loving home. What do you think?"

"I agree. The argument between nature and nurture has merits on both sides, but if you want to know what holds weight with me, I say nurture."

"I agree," JJ said and sighed when her husband put his hand on her belly and closed his eyes. Soon, they slept and when the jet touched down a few hours later, she felt the baby kick again. Reid's eyes popped open and he said. "Thanks for the wakeup call, baby-girl."

"Hey," Morgan waggled a finger at him. "No stealing my nickname for Garcia. There's only _one_ Baby-Girl."

JJ pretended to throw the deck of cards at him. "Go away, Morgan."

CMCMCMCMCMCM

Garcia waited for them when they exited the elevator. She rushed at JJ and Reid and hugged them both so hard, JJ had to squirm out of her arms. "Hey, I'm pregnant remember?"

"Yes, I do, and I'm so upset that you told everyone on the plane that you're having a beautiful baby girl."

"She didn't have a choice," Reid said. "It was my fault. I got caught talking to the baby."

"Aw, that's _so_ cute."

Rossi rolled his eyes and Hotch nearly laughed at the exasperation on JJ's face. "It wasn't cute, it was nauseating," Morgan said with a teasing light in his dark eyes.

"Now you know how _I_ feel," JJ said.

"Good one," Emily said.

"Still, I think we need to start planning a baby shower for you now that we know the gender of Baby Genius Reid." Garcia reached for Emily and JJ's hands, but they planted their feet when she tried to tug them away. "PG," Emily said. "Calm down. We'll plan it later. It's time to go home."

"Right," Garcia agreed. "We can talk about it tomorrow."

JJ raised her eyebrows when Reid sighed loudly, and Morgan laughed. "Tomorrow," JJ said and winked at her husband.

"Everyone go home, we'll worry about paperwork in the morning," Hotch said and reminded them that this was their place of employment.

"Right on, my liege," Garcia saluted him. "Come on, let's go have a non-alcoholic toast before we leave."


	27. Chapter 27

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

Spencer liked to watch his wife ready herself for a new day. She said he had closet voyeur tendencies when he stood in the doorway of their master bathroom while she put on her makeup and combed her hair. He countered her observations by pointing out that she stared at him when he read.

That morning, he took what she liked to call his observation post and watched her do something a bit different with her golden hair. Instead of combing in straight, she sectioned it off and used a curling iron to add spiral curls. He liked the effect and smiled when she met his eyes in the mirror. "Hey," she said, and blood rose to color her cheeks. "I should be used to you watching me, but today – there's something in your eyes."

"You're so beautiful," he said.

"I'm beginning to resemble a whale," she argued as she caught up a lock of hair and wound it around the curling iron.

"No," he argued. "I like how you look. Pregnancy agrees with you."

"Stop it," she said, but she smiled, and he could see she was pleased with his compliments.

"So," he changed the subject, a little. "Why are you curling your hair? You normally keep your routine simple on workdays."

"I wanted to change it up a bit, that's all."

He watched her face and saw that she wouldn't meet his eyes. "You sure that's it."

"Yeah. Sometimes it's fun to play around with a new look."

"You might be right about that," he said. "Anyway, I love you no matter what you change."

"So, you'd be okay with my dying my hair black."

He rolled his eyes. "You wouldn't."

"I think I see the fear in your eyes, husband."

He laughed. "All right, I admit that I wouldn't like it. I love your blond hair. It reminds me of sunshine and happiness."

"Good, because I don't think I'd rock that look. Also, the die chemicals are bad for the baby."

"Then I'm glad you aren't serious about changing your look."

She unrolled the curling iron from the last curl and began on her usual makeup routine. He continued to watch her until she added the finishing touches, then comb out her hair. "As usual, you look gorgeous, wife."

"You're great for my ego."

He went to her and carefully kissed her on the lips. She grinned and wiped away lipstick from his mouth with one of her thumbs. "You ready to go."

"No, I have something to take care of this morning. I'll meet you at work in a couple of hours."

"What are you up to?"

"You'll see. Don't worry. I cleared some time with Hotch."

She observed him suspiciously. "Okay, I'll see you later."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid decided the best way to present his new look to the team was to walk in and pretend that nothing changed. He got lucky when Anderson told him on his way up to the sixth floor that he'd seen all of the team gathering in the conference room. He fidgeted with his tie as he hurried into the room and tried to keep a straight face when JJ turned and saw him.

"Well, hello."

He sat and his teammates reacted with expressions of interest, amusement and in Hotch's case the words, "Did you join a boy band?"

"No," he said and wondered silently why a haircut would cause such a reaction.

Later, JJ pulled him aside when the team was working out the profile of a man who stalked women online and kidnapped them. He was in pouring a cup of terrible cop-shop coffee when she walked up and said. "Talk to you."

"Sure."

He followed her to an empty observation room, and she smirked at him. "I have this sudden urge to forget we're at work and kiss you."

"I'm not complaining," he said as he touched her face. "Why?"

"You're hair. You cut it."

"Yes. Is that a problem?"

"No, I love it, but why didn't you tell me."

"As you say, a change is good."

She reached out and lightly swatted his backside. "Just remember you belong to me."

"Why are you making that observation?" he wondered as they left the room.

"Because I saw the looks, you're getting from the female LEO's here. It's not much different from any other precinct, but for some reason, it's bugging me today."

"Must be hormones," he suggested.

"Watch it," she warned him, and they separated when Hotch came out of the room they were using to build the profile.

"It's time," he said to Reid and they hurried away.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"Do you think that Garcia is okay?" Reid asked JJ after they reached cruising altitude on the jet.

"I don't know," she sighed and laid her head on his shoulder. "She's stronger than all of us because we have each other in the field, but she only has images and our voices on the phone. I don't know how she does it."

"You're right," he said and put his hand on her abdomen.

"You two are irritating," Morgan said when he sat across from the couple. "Do you _have_ to do that when we're on the jet," he said and waved his hand at Reid.

"Then put on your headphones and close your eyes," JJ suggested, sweetly. "You don't see us and you're happy."

"That's funny, blondie."

JJ smiled at him and bared her teeth. Reid laughed and said. "See baby, this is how you deal with Uncle Morgan."

"Stop talking to that kid like she's already here," Morgan said.

"Why, studies show that infants at this stage of development can hear and remember voices."

"Really," Morgan said and leaned forward. "Hey little baby-girl, this is your Uncle Derek. Don't worry, when you're older, I'll teach you to appreciate music other than classical."

"Morgan!"

"He has a point," JJ said and grinned at Reid's dismayed look. "I mean that we need to get some headphones for my belly, to drown out the murder talk."

"Oh, yeah." Reid's eyes went wide. "I see your point. We need to decide what kind of music to play that will be most beneficial to her neural development."

"Let me guess," JJ said with a wink. "Beethoven."

"Mozart," Reid countered.

"Well talk," JJ promised him and made Morgan roll his eyes.

"Give me a break," he said and pulled on his headphones. "I'm going to get some sleep if you don't mind."

Reid squeezed JJ's hand and she smiled at him. "Good one," she whispered, and he sighed happily before leaning his head back and falling smoothly into sleep.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ stopped at the top of the stairs leading up to the walkway surrounding the bullpen. She smiled as she watched her husband flip through a file folder on his desk. Locks from his new haircut dropped over his forehead as he frowned over what he saw. The waves framed his face and again, his resemblance to a fallen angel in a Renaissance painting struck her like a fist. She placed her hand on her belly and said quietly. "There's your daddy, sweet girl. He's an amazing man that loves us very much. I can't wait for you to meet him."

As if he heard her, Reid raised his head and his cheeks turned slightly pink. "Why are you staring at me?"

"Because you're hot, and you love our baby. You're amazing, Spence and you're _all _mine."

"I'm not sure how to respond," he replied and watched her as she descended the steps to the bullpen.

"It's true. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I feel the same," he said and caught her face in his hands. "You ready?"

"Yeah, I checked and she's still here."

"I hope this works because after Alaska and then this last case, I think she needs good news."

"I agree, let's go."

She took his hand and because no one else lurked around, she held it until they stepped up to Garcia's office door. "Hey, PG," she said and tapped on the open door.

"Oh, hello my lovelies. What can I do for the BAU's version of the corporate power couple?"

Reid raised his eyebrows and JJ smirked at their friend, who wore a red and white outfit that enhanced her coppery hair. "Spence and I have a favor to ask you."

"Yeah, um, we thought you might be interested in being our daughter's godmother," he blurted out.

Garcia stared at them for about three seconds, then she squealed, loudly, leaped to her feet and pulled Reid into her arms. She hugged him until he felt bruised around the ribs, then she turned to JJ. "Carefully," he begged his friend.

"Of course," Garcia said and shook her head. "I'd never dream of injuring the mother of your blond baby genius.

JJ smirked over Garcia's shoulder as her enthusiastic friend hugged her carefully. "We don't know if the baby will be gifted," she reminded the red-head.

"I know," Garcia argued. "She'll be brilliant, and beautiful thanks to your perfect genetic combination. She'll be athletic, kind, funny – amazing."

"I agree," JJ said and laughed at Reid's expression. "I want her to look like Spence, though."

"Oh," Garcia agreed as she let go of the expectant mother. "I can imagine her with golden brown curls and big hazel eyes."

"Guys," he interrupted. "You didn't answer the question," he directed to Garcia when they returned their attention to him.

"Well, yes, of course, I will."

"Thank you, Penelope."

"You're welcome. Now, I know you two didn't rush up here just to ask me to be your baby's godmother. You're trying to cheer me up after the last two cases."

Reid glanced at JJ and she shrugged. "Can't fool you."

"No. I may not be a profiler or a super awesome media specialist, but I _am_ the goddess of all things digital and I know my family."

"We wanted you to be happy," he said, and his lovely eyes pierced her with a look that begged her to smile.

"How do you live with him when he gets that look?" Garcia quizzed the blond friend.

"It's not easy, but I am building up a tolerance," JJ lied, smoothly.

"Hey!" Reid said and his cheeks went pink.

"Right," Garcia said, and she clearly did not believe her friend.

"So, are you all right," JJ asked.

"No, but I'm getting there with your help. It's nothing that a long orgy of shopping for the baby won't cure."

"Garcia," he moaned. "Please don't spoil her before she's born."

"Why?"

JJ smirked at him and her eyes sparkled with mischief. "Yeah, Spence, why?"

"Jennifer!"

"He's right," JJ took her husband's side and made Garcia smile. "Please don't bury us in cute clothes."

"I will do my best," Garcia held up a hand as if swearing a vow.

"Thank you, now the most important thing for you to know is that Spence and I asked Morgan to be the baby's godfather."

"Oh, my chocolate thunder must be stoked."

"He is," Reid said. He shook his head and smiled as he thought about _that _conversation.

"If anything happens to Spence and me, it's up to you and Morgan to get our girl into Yale."

"I thought we decided on Cal-Tech," Reid argued. "Yale was my safety school."

"We _agreed_ on Yale."

"Why? I can get her into Cal-Tech with one phone call."

"Why don't you, make up your minds and email me your decision," Garcia suggested with a straight face and dancing eyes.

"Oh, we will," JJ said, as Reid sighed.

"You two are so cute together."

"Did you hear her, Jen, we're cute."

"Right," JJ said and rolled her eyes. "We're as cute as newborn kittens."

"Oh, newborn kittens." Garcia moaned happily. "I found this video online with newborn kittens and –"

"Garcia."

"Oh sorry."

"It's okay, I like cat videos," JJ said. "In moderation," she reiterated when Garcia's eyes lit up.

"Right, you two always make me smile, but you need to go because I must finish here so that I can hit the stores tomorrow with a clear conscience."

"Garcia," JJ sighed. "You promised."

"I intend to keep that promise. Think of tomorrow as getting most of my excitement out of my system."

"Fine."

Garcia hugged them again and her face sobered a bit. "I _do _appreciate your efforts to distract me, but I am feeling better. I know there was nothing I could do to prevent a sicko from killing, but I can do my best to be there for you and for all the victims to come."

"We know," JJ said and squeezed Garcia's hand. "You're amazing which is why we want you in our baby's life."

"Yes," Reid agreed. "You're going to be an amazing example of a strong, brilliant, and capable woman."

"Aw, you're going to make me cry," Garcia wiped at her eyes. "Thank you, sweet cheeks."

"You're welcome."


	28. Chapter 28

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n we're jumping through time again to just before "JJ" in season six. I'm not dealing with "Our Darkest Hour, or The Longest Night," and you'll see why in this chapter. We are almost at the end, with two more chapters after this one. This story was never intended to go past the beginning of season six, mostly because I wanted the opportunity to spare JJ from going to Afghanistan. Again, you'll see what I mean. _**

Spencer yawned as he looked at his watch. He'd tried to concentrate on chess and reading but attempting to distract his mind proved impossible. JJ had stayed at the office to finish her paperwork before she embarked on maternity leave. The baby was due in less than two weeks and he was so excited and nervous, he'd found it extremely difficult to concentrate on anything that required higher brain function. He'd never say it to JJ, but he was glad that she'd be out of the office beginning on Monday as she needed rest.

Their landline phone rang and pulled his thoughts from his wife to wondering who called at eight pm on a Friday night.

"Reid residence."

"Hello, may I speak to Dr. Spencer Reid."

"May I ask who's calling."

"My name is Dr. Marcus Slade. I'm attempting to reach Dr. Reid."

"This is Dr. Reid. Did you say, Dr. Marcus Slade, of Cal-Tech University?"

"Yes, I am he."

"I'm pleased to meet you, doctor. I read your last paper on genetics and stem cells. Your work looks very promising."

"Thank you, Dr. Reid. My work is why I'm contacting. As I said, I'd like to discuss the possibility of you joining my project. My team is working on a new stem cell therapy for certain mental disorders."

"Dr. Slade, I'm sure you know that I have three PhDs and none of my Doctorates are in the biological sciences."

"Yes, that's true, but I have done my research and you'll forgive me for bringing your personal life into this call, but you've devoted your life to profiling and the exploration of the criminal mind. I'd love to add your unique perspective to my research if you're willing."

"Please continue."

"I'd like to have an in-depth conversation with you in the next week and if possible, fly you out to meet my team and Dean Baker."

"I don't have to meet her. She's been at Cal-Tech since I went to school there and earned my first Ph.D. It'll be nice to see her again."

"Can I take that as a yes to a Skype conversation?"

"May I get your contact information, Dr. Slade. I need to discuss this with my wife before we take the next steps."

"Of course," Dr. Slade said. "I wouldn't have it any other way. Please feel free to do any follow up on me with the school as I realize that it's a bit out of the ordinary to have a stranger call you out of the blue with a job offer."

Reid suppressed the urge to laugh. "I hear from head hunters at least twice a month, Dr. Slade."

"I'm sure you do. Well, thank you for hearing me out and please call me when you've had a chance to talk this over with your wife."

"I will and thank you for your offer, Dr. Slade."

"You're the best, Dr. Reid. It wasn't a difficult choice."

"I look forward to our next conversation."

"As do I."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ sighed, stretched and pushed slowly to her feet. Her advancing pregnancy meant a backache when she sat too long, weird cravings and ankles that retained more water than the average camel. Right now, she needed to pee and then she needed her bed and her husband.

She barely had time to visit the ladies room and walk back to her office when her cell phone rang. She looked at her caller id and grinned.

"Hey, Monica."

"Jenny."

"Haven't talked to you in months. How are you?"

"I'm great, how are you."

"Still pregnant."

"Oh."

"What does that mean?"

"You sound exhausted."

"I am. It's been crazy the last few weeks. I need a break."

"I hear you. When Kimberly was born, I was so happy and relieved to have my body back."

"How is she? You haven't sent me new photos in a while."

"I'll send some tonight. When are you going to come out and see me? I still haven't met that gorgeous husband of your in person."

"Well, I've been officially grounded until after the baby is born.

"Right, then why don't I come to see you."

"You're going to fly here from LA."

"Yes. I need to see you in person."

"Why?"

"I want to run something by you.'

"What is it?"

"Shelby and I are looking for someone to join our firm."

"Are you asking me to quit the FBI and work with you," JJ exclaimed.

"Yes. We've known each other since we were ten and I trust you with my life. You've proven your worth as one of the best media specialists in the country. You'd be partners with Shelby and me. The hours are better than the FBI and I can offer you considerably more money."

"I don't know what to say, Monica. You've caught me off guard."

"Good." Monica laughed. "Talk to that husband of yours, then call me back. I can come up next week if you like."

"Um, all right. I'll talk to Spence."

"I'll talk to you soon."

JJ ended the call and sat staring at her door for several moments with her thoughts whirling around in her head like wind swirling leaves on a cold autumn day.

_Leave the FBI!_

She felt the baby kick hard and she winced. She loved the team and her job, but – she and Spence had talked many times during her pregnancy about changing careers. Was it fair for them to have a child with both in the field? She didn't know anymore.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Spencer lay dozing on the sofa when JJ walked in thirty minutes later. The clock on the wall showed it was nearly ten pm and she craved sleep like water. "Hey," she reached down and ran her hand through his hair. He jerked and blinked his eyes. "Hey," he squinted up at her in the soft white light of the table lamp. "You're home."

"Yeah, I finally finished my backlog."

"Good," he tugged her down on his lap. "You need to rest."

She yawned so hard her jaw cracked. "You're right."

Reid began rubbing lazy circles on her abdomen. "Hm… That's nice."

"Sh…"

"Need sleep."

"Yeah."

Then didn't move until she needed the bathroom. When she entered the bedroom in her pink and white maternity pajamas, Reid was sitting with his back against a pillow."

"Hey. Why aren't you asleep?"

"I know you're tired but there's something I want to talk to you about."

"That's funny because I have something to ask you. I was going to wait until tomorrow."

"You first," he suggested.

"Nope, you go first."

"I received an interesting phone call from Dr. Marcus Slade at Cal-tech. He's researching stem cells as a treatment for mental illness. He offered me a position with his team. I know of him and he's brilliant."

"You're considering it."

"Yes, but I told him I needed to speak to you. I know it would entail moving to California.

"Spence."

"It's a great opportunity and we'd be home at a decent hour every night."

"Spence."

"I know I'm asking you to give up a great job but –"

"Spencer!"

"What?"

"Stop trying to talk yourself out of it, babe."

"Sorry, I got carried away."

She shifted and put her head on his shoulder. "It's okay, honey."

"What do you think?"

"Why don't I tell you about the call I got and then we'll talk. Monica called me tonight and offered me a job with her PR firm."

Reid ran his fingers through her hair. "Well, it appears that both of us have great opportunities for change. The question is – do we want to take them. Cal-Tech and Monica's firm are in California. It'd be a huge change for us. What happens if one of us decides to stay in the FBI."

"Babe, that's not going to happen. I'd be lying if I said that I hadn't thought about leaving. I love my job and the team is like my family, but you and our daughter are family, too. I want to come home every night and have dinner and argue about who loads the dishwasher, watch TV and help our child with her homework. I want to read to her and sing her to sleep."

"I want all of that," he said. "Most of all, I don't want to put any of us in danger."

"Then we're agreed."

"Yes."

"All right, in the morning we'll talk again."

"Sounds like a plan. Can we go to sleep now?"

"Yes. Love you, Dr. Reid."

"Love you, Mrs. Reid."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ paced the confines of their living room and tried not to think about the fact that she was two days away from her due date. Her doctor had told her that first babies were often late. She hoped with all her being that Wilma was wrong and their daughter would come on time because Spence would be home in less than an hour, it was the weekend and it was convenient. She began to laugh at her foolish hopes that for a change everything would happen on her schedule. She could imagine what Spence would say if he knew of her wishful thinking. He'd give her the exact odds of her plans, and she'd tell him to shut up and he'd smile for her. As usual, she wouldn't be able to resist his eyes.

She turned when a key sounded in the lock and the door opened. Spence walked in and she hurried to him for a hug and a kiss. "Hey," she greeted. "You look wiped out."

"I am. It's been a long three days."

"Still, I sense that it went well, and you've made your decision."

"You're correct. Jen, you know that I get similar offers at least twice a month and none of them pique my interest until now. I'm not sure why, but I feel like I need to try to do everything I can to help my mom."

"I get it," she said. "If I had to guess, I'd say that because you're going to be a father, you feel more urgently about changing the world in a way that doesn't involve the constant blood, and darkness and pain. You want to do something positive. You know that I support you no matter what you decided to do."

"I do, but I'm happy you have another option because I couldn't tear you away from the BAU if you didn't want to go."

"I am glad I don't have to make that decision, but while you've been in California, I did some thinking." They made their way to the sofa and she lowered herself down with a grunt and a sigh. "I can't wait for this to be over," she said and patted her belly. "I'm sick of waddling, peeing every ten minutes, the acid reflux, swollen ankles, aching back, etc."

"I know, but I'm glad you didn't go into labor while I was gone."

"I told you to go. It's the twenty-first century and we have a handy invention called the jet airplane."

Reid smiled and reached over to touch her expanded abdomen. "You're right, but I'm still happy that I didn't miss it. I'd hate to be stuck on a plane while your expelling her from your body."

"Expelling," JJ raised her eyebrows. "That's an interesting way to put it."

"It's true."

"Yeah, I suppose that it is."

"So, what were you saying about doing some thinking while I was gone."

"I did. I was thinking that even if Monica hadn't decided to offer me a job, I'd go with you anywhere because I want you to be happy. If that means that we go to California and I'm a stay at home mom for a while, that's okay too."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Reid leaned over and kissed her. "So, did you iron out the details with Monica?"

"Yes. She knows this is bad timing with the baby and she told me to take as much time as I needed for maternity leave and to organize a move. It's going to be a huge job."

"I'm not so sure about that. I got a phone call from Morgan before I left. He has a friend in LA that flips houses and they worked out a deal with me. He has three properties ready for sale and he wants to give us first crack. Housing isn't cheap in California, but he's willing to negotiate with us."

"Why, he doesn't know us."

"Apparently, Morgan saved his life when he was in ATF. Morgan didn't elaborate and I didn't ask."

"That's good enough for me."

"Then, all we have to do is have a baby and pack up for the move."

"I was thinking about that and I thought we should have a sale and get rid of everything we own except clothing and personal items. We can get all we need in California. It'll be easier than packing and everything we don't sell we give to charity. Garcia already has a worthy cause in mind. The signing bonus Monica offered me is large enough for us to get what we need after the move."

"I'll have to sell my car or donate it because it won't make the trip."

"Are you saying you want to drive to California with a newborn?"

"Yes."

"Spencer, you're crazy."

"I'm not. It'll be less traumatic then subjecting her delicate eardrums to the air pressure changes of flying."

JJ studied him for a minute. "You hate to drive long distances."

"Well take it slow," Reid said. "I have it planned out. I memorized all the maps we need and worked out the most efficient route."

"Of course, you have. "What would we do without you," she wondered as he began to rub her abdomen with his long gentle fingers. The baby kicked her and she winced. "Damn it, when will she be ready."

"Soon, my love."

"I hope you're right."

"I am. Come on, let's go to bed."


	29. Chapter 29

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

JJ squeezed her husband's hand when they entered the elevator to the sixth floor. "What do you think he'll say," Reid asked in a tone that was nearly a whisper, as if he feared that somehow, Hotch would overhear them.

"I don't know, but I _am_ wondering if telling everyone is wise. It's three days before my due date and we might be pushing our luck."

He pursed his lips and watched as the numbers over the door changed. "I don't see what your due date has to do with telling Hotch. Yes, it's stressful, but remember that first babies have a reputation for late arrival."

"I sincerely hope you're wrong, Spence."

"I concur," he said and smiled down at her.

She blew out a breath when the elevator doors slid open to reveal the entryway before the double doors leading to the BAU bullpen. No one stood in this area and the lack of agents in the hallway as they walked made her distinctly nervous. It was Friday before a holiday, but still, she expected more people on the floor.

Reid let go of her hand as they approached Hotch's office. She was relieved to see that Emily and Morgan hadn't arrived and Rossi was in his office. Garcia didn't appear and as usual, Hotch worked at his desk when she tapped on the door.

"Come in," Hotch said and looked up when they didn't greet him. "Reid, JJ, what can I do for you."

Reid found it nearly impossible to read his bosses expression, but he thought that Hotch's tone indicated that he was aware they had an announcement he might not like. Hotch indicated for them to sit, then he went to the door and shut it.

"Hotch, um, Jennifer and I have something we need to tell you."

"Yes," Hotch said and cocked his head. "What is it?"

"We're leaving the BAU and Virginia," Reid announced, then turned pink in the cheeks. "Sorry, didn't mean to blurt it out like that."

"You're leaving," Hotch repeated and the surprise in his tone made Reid more nervous for some reason.

"Yes, we've been talking about retiring from the FBI for a few months, and we both have offers on the table that we've accepted."

"Well," Hotch sat straight in his chair. "I understand why you want to leave, but this is sudden. Are you both sure you're ready?"

"Yes," JJ said. "I want to be home at a decent hour every night. Working with my friends in an established PR firm makes that possible."

"I agree," Reid said. "I want to be home for bath time and to read to my daughter every night."

Hotch nodded his head and his dark eyes were full of understanding. "And, I'm sure that neither of you wants to put yourselves in harm's way."

"No," Reid said. "We've gone back and forth, and in the end, we decided that for both of us to be in the field was unacceptable. I was thinking of asking you to be taken out of the field, permanently, but then I got a call from a researcher at Cal-tech, who's done brilliant work in stem cell advancements. His latest project is directed toward improving mental health, and I've decided to join his team. I want my mother around for the sake of my daughter and working with Dr. Slade may make that a reality.

"Then go," Hotch said. "You know you have my support no matter what you decide."

"Thank you, Hotch."

Hotch stood and to JJ's surprise he hugged them both and there was something in his eyes that made her think that he longed to be free of the BAU, but then his eyes shut down and he said. "When will you tell the rest."

"JJ's wanted to be here despite beginning her maternity leave, so we'll gather everyone and tell them this morning."

"I'll call them in right now," Hotch said and they left his office.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"Hey," Morgan said as he trailed into the room with Garcia at his side. "Why're you here, JJ? Couldn't stay away?"

"Spence and I have something to tell you."

"Don't tell us you're having twins," Rossi asked, and Emily snorted out a laugh.

"I'd love to see Pretty Boy with two babies," Morgan teased.

"I'm not having twins," JJ interrupted their speculation. "It's one baby and I can't wait for her to get here because I'm done."

"Then what's so important," Rossi wondered.

"Spence and I are leaving the BAU."

The group stayed quiet for so long, Reid began to wonder if they'd been turned to statues. No, that's ridiculous, he thought and shook his head.

"Wait, you're leaving," Garcia squeaked. "Why?"

"Because they're smart," Rossi said.

"JJ," Garcia whispered. "It's not true."

"It is, Pen. We decided that we needed less demanding and safer jobs. We've been discussing it for a while and then Spence got a call from a researcher at Cal-Tech and I got an offer from a friend in LA with a successful PR firm."

"You're moving to California," Garcia gasped. "How am I supposed to spoil baby Reid if you go so far away?"

"Pen, _please_ don't make his harder than it is," JJ said, and tears gathered in her eyes."

"You're right," Garcia sniffed and squeezed Morgan's hand when he touched her arm. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," JJ said and sighed. "We feel the same way. Morgan, we didn't know we were moving across the country when we asked you and Garcia to be godparents, so if you want to back out –"

"No way," he and Garcia said in unison. "You're stuck with us."

"Yeah, we have Skype and email, and texting, social media," Garcia babbled.

"And, we can fly out to see you," Morgan said. "I'm pretty sure that we'll have at least one more case in LA before any of us retire."

"Actually the odds –"

"Stop right there," Morgan pointed at Reid. "Don't jinx us."

"Yeah," Emily agreed. "Let's think on the bright side."

"I agree," Rossi said.

" As JJ is on maternity leave, she won't be coming back and Reid has to be in LA in a month.

"Then I think he should buy lunch for everyone," Rossi said.

"Why?" Reid squeaked.

"Because I said so," Rossi said, and they all laughed.

Reid shrugged. "Okay, what does everyone want to eat?"

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"You okay," Reid asked the next day when his wife put a hand on her back and groaned.

"I just had a sharp pain in my back."

"Is it more Braxton-Hicks?"

"I'm not sure."

"Sit down, babe. You can help me organize books another day."

Instead of arguing, she sat which made him nervous. "Now I know you're tired," he tried to joke but flinched away at the irritation in her blue eyes. "You should be afraid, Spencer Reid. It's your baby inside me and I want her out of me, _now_."

"Honey, take it easy."

He realized his mistake when she tried to reach over and smack his arm, but instead, she burst into tears. "I'm tired of waiting," she wailed. "When is she going to come out, Spence."

He opened his mouth, then decide that the question was rhetorical, and he'd live longer if he didn't answer with one of the many statistics lodged in his gray matter. "Jen," he said and slid over to kiss her.

She turned and hugged him as tight as her pregnant belly would allow. "I'm sorry, babe. You're so patient and I'm a complete bitch."

He didn't agree or try to argue. He held her until she pulled away and pushed up to her feet. He leaped to his feet and took her hand. "Jennifer, I love you."

"I know, Spence. I'm going to bed."

"All right, I'll be in later. I'm going to finish organizing books."

An hour later, he'd finished with his books. He sighed and was about to sit at his chess board for a quick solo game when JJ called out to him. "Spence, my water just broke."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

"How much longer," Garcia complained as she waited with Morgan, and Emily.

"Baby-girl, you asked that ten minutes ago."

"Yeah, PG, babies come when they want to come."

"I know, but I want to see my god-daughter."

Morgan reached for her hand and squeezed it tight. "Reid will come to tell us when they're ready."

Another half an hour later, Garcia looked up to see Reid walking down the hallway to the waiting room. He wore blue scrubs over his clothing, booties over his shoes and a tired, but happy expression on his face. His hazel eyes were exultant, and he greeted them with, "It's over, our little girl is here. She weighs eight pounds exactly and is twenty-two inches long. She's beautiful and amazing."

"Wow sounds like she'll be tall like her father," Emily said and joined Morgan and Garcia in a happy group hug.

"You did good, little brother," Morgan said and slapped his back.

"I'm so happy for you," Garcia squealed.

"Thank you. I can't quite believe she's finally here."

"Yeah, it's about time," Garcia said, and Morgan rolled his eyes.

"Baby-girl, settle down."

"Not until I see my god-daughter."

"We'll go up in a few minutes. They're taking care of Jennifer and getting her moved into a room. The nurse will come a get us soon."

"How are you, dad?" Emily asked with a grin.

"Happier than I've ever felt. I never knew it was possible to love someone at first sight, but I adore my little girl."

"Of course," Emily said. "She's part of you and JJ."

"What's her name?" Morgan wanted to know.

Reid smiled like someone with a secret more precious that the location of the Holy Grail. "JJ and I will tell you later."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Hotch and Rossi joined the group just as the nurse came in to say that JJ was asking for her husband and visitors. "Oh, I _can't_ wait," Garcia gushed happily.

When they entered JJ's room a few minutes later, she sat up in her hospital bed with a small bundle in her arms. She smiled radiantly at them, then turned her eyes to Reid who smiled so hard, Emily thought he might split his face in two. She smirked at the happy couple and said. "Oh, wow, she's gorgeous."

They crowded around the bed and Garcia sighed in complete happiness. "Em is right. She's beautiful and she looks like her daddy."

"She has his hair, his nose, and his hands. We're not sure about her eyes because they're newborn blue right now."

"I was hoping for a blond," Reid said but didn't sound disappointed.

"She's molto bella," Rossi said and leaned down to kiss JJ on the cheek.

"Congratulations," Hotch said and smiled in a way that changed his face completely. "I'm happy for both of you.'

"Thanks, Hotch."

"Yeah, thanks," Reid said and smiled at his former boss.

"Hey, Morgan, you want to hold your god-daughter."

"Oh, I don't think that's a good idea."

"Sure, it is," Garcia said. "Remember to support her head and you'll be fine."

Morgan looked at Hotch who shrugged his shoulders and then he sighed and took the baby from her mother. "Hey there, princess. I'm Derek, your god papa."

JJ and Emily watched him melt down into an infatuated puddle and smirked at each other. "What are you naming this girl," Emily asked.

"Well, we wanted to honor all the strong women in her life and coming up with a name to do that was quite a task. We decided to name her Caroline Alexandra. Caroline means pretty woman and its JJ's grandmother's middle name. Alexandra means protector of the people and is my grandmother's middle name. We want her to know that she's beautiful on the inside and the outside, but more importantly, she has role models that protect their families and others."

"I think it's a wonderful name," Hotch said.

"I agree," Rossi said.

Emily and Garcia nodded their heads as Morgan continued to coo over his god-daughter. JJ smirked at Reid and he shook his head. "Hey, Morgan, you listening?"

"Yeah, Caroline Alexandra. It's perfect, isn't it princess."

Caroline blinked open her eyes and wiggled in his arms. She opened her mouth and began to cry, loudly.

"Oh, I think someone wants her mother," he handed her off to JJ as if she were a scalding potato fresh out of boiling water.

"You're going to have to learn not to panic," JJ said and took her little girl. "Hey baby, what's all the fuss?"

"She might be hungry," Emily said.

"I think that's our cue to leave."

"I'm coming back tomorrow," Garcia promised.

"Okay, but we're getting out of here around noon," JJ said.

"Don't worry, I'll be here as soon as visiting hours start. I want to hold my god-daughter without the big bruiser here to monopolize her," Garcia smacked Morgan's shoulder.

"Hey."

The team left the room together and Reid smiled when the door closed on them. He watched as JJ shifted her hospital gown so that she could nurse Caroline.

"What are you thinking?" She inquired as he took the easy chair next to her bed.

"That I am the luckiest man on earth. I have a beautiful, intelligent, strong wife, and a newborn daughter that's breathtaking. I hope she grows up to be just like you."

"I hope she's just like her father."

"I won't argue with you because it won't get me anywhere."

JJ smiled and her blue eyes sparkled. "It's about time you realized that you can't win."

"That's not nice," he complained.

"Perhaps not, but it's true."

He decided to watch his wife with his daughter and bask in the knowledge that his life was finally falling into place.


	30. Chapter 30

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n as a thank you for all of your kind support and comments, I'm posting the last chapter as a bonus chapter. I hope you enjoy it. _**

Something soft as a feather gently brushed Reid's cheek and he let out a groan. "Five more minutes."

"No," JJ whispered in his ear. "Caroline wants her father to feed her Christmas breakfast."

He opened his eyes, blinked and reached for his glasses. "Merry Christmas, Jen."

"Merry Christmas, Spence. Love you," she bent over and kissed his cheek.

"Love you, too."

He focused on Caroline, safely tucked in her mother's arms. The three-month-old baby giggled and kicked her legs as she watched her father from hazel eyes that matched Reid's orbs down to the last detail. "Hi, baby, Merry Christmas, little one," he took her from JJ and kissed the top of her head. She smelled milky, a scent he adored, and she felt like the embodiment of all his love, hope and dreams.

"Here," JJ handed him a warmed bottle, which he offered to his little girl.

Caroline took it and began to suck greedily while making little contented noises that brought tingles into his stomach and warmth to his heart. She never ceased to amaze him as every day she did something new that stunned him into wonderous silence.

"Don't worry," JJ said. "It's expressed milk."

"I wasn't going to say anything," he countered. "It's Christmas."

"Yes, it is. When you've fed Caroline, I have a surprise for you downstairs.

"Oh, what is it."

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise."

"See, Caroline, your mother likes to tease me."

Caroline continued to eat as if nothing were more important, and Reid supposed she had a valid point. At three months, a child didn't have to worry about anything other than the basics of life. He often wished he could be like her for one day.

"I don't think she has much sympathy for you," JJ observed with a smirk.

"One day," he said, confidently.

"You keep deluding yourself, babe." JJ smacked his leg. "I'll see you downstairs."

A few minutes later, Reid descended the stairs with Caroline in his arms. He'd fed, burped and changed her. She seemed to be content and awake and her eyes took in the familiar sights of her home. He passed through the living area, decorated in green fir boughs with red ribbons, and the tree finished with colorful balls and a star at the top. Several brightly wrapped boxes lay beneath the tree and four Christmas stockings hung from hooks over the gas fireplace.

"Hey," JJ greeted him with a steaming cup of hot chocolate with a peppermint candy cane sitting inside. "I know you like coffee, but I thought we'd celebrate the day."

He sniffed it and decided that the scent of chocolate was too tempting to put aside. He sipped it and JJ laughed at the whipped cream mustache over his upper lip.

"Don't laugh at me," he scolded her, then he laughed. "Where's my surprise?"

"In the kitchen. I made breakfast for you."

He sniffed the air and realized that it was full of spices, eggs, cheese, and bacon. "Hm, smells delicious."

"Come on, mom's in there and we're starved."

"Okay. Hey, Caroline, you want to see grandma?" The baby giggled and tried to reach up for his hair. "I'll take that as yes."

Sandy joined Reid, JJ, and Caroline in the living room forty-five minutes later. "I'm so glad you were able to fly out, mom," JJ said as Reid handed his daughter to her grandmother.

"I couldn't miss my granddaughter's first Christmas." Sandy looked down at the now sleeping baby in her arms. "She's amazing."

"Yes, she is," JJ said and went to take down their stockings.

Later, after they'd torn through their gifts, Reid held Caroline on his chest as he lay prone on the sofa with his mismatched socks peeking from under the knitted blanket Garcia had made for them as a moving present. JJ giggled at the sight, then sighed with happiness that her two favorite people slept peacefully.

"They're adorable," Sandy whispered to her daughter as they went into the kitchen.

"Yeah, it makes my heart hurt when I see them together. Spence loves her so much and she adores him."

"I remember when you were a baby. You had your father wrapped around your finger, much like Rosaline when she was tiny."

"Mom, do you think Rosaline would have a family if she'd lived."

Sandy sighed and began to make mugs of green tea for them to sip with the sugar cookies she'd baked on Christmas Eve. "I don't know. Rosaline never talked about what she wanted to do. I'd like to think that she would've, and Caroline might have cousins."

JJ pursed her lips. "I miss her, mom, especially on days like this. I wish she'd met Spence and Caroline."

"Me too."

They sat quietly together, and then JJ said. "Why don't we clean up from breakfast and organize the gifts. Hotch said the team's meeting at Rossi's place for dinner and then they'll call us."

"Agreed."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ carried Caroline down to the living room while Reid waited with her laptop. Their daughter squealed when she saw her father and reached out for him.

"Caroline," he exclaimed and took her from her mother. "There you are, all fresh from your nap. Did you sleep well, my little companion?"

JJ rolled her eyes at this new nickname for their daughter, but he ignored her. "She's ready for her closeup."

Caroline wore a Christmas themed outfit of a red dress with a white lace collar, and white socks trimmed with more white lace around the ankles. She wore a headband with holly berries and a tiny golden angel hanging from the red silk.

"She looks amazing."

"She _is_ amazing, and she resembles you more every day."

JJ slid her fingers through Caroline's wavy golden-brown hair and the baby cooed at her.

"I won't argue because it's useless with you."

"Come on. Everyone is waiting at Rossi's place."

"All right, I'm ready."

JJ picked up her laptop, repositioned it, and placed a Skype call to Garcia. "Hey."

"Hi, Peaches."

JJ chuckled and said, "Hi, is everyone there."

They waited until Penelope repositioned her laptop on the table and the team came into view. Jack held tight to Hotch's hand and the others grouped together about Garcia. "Hi," they said as one and Morgan rolled his eyes. "Nice unison," JJ quipped.

"Yeah, we rehearsed it for you," Rossi said.

"It's good to see you, JJ, but where is Caroline," Morgan demanded. "I want to see my little princess."

"Right here with her dad."

Reid came into view and everyone began to exclaim over her. "Hey, beautiful," Emily greeted and waved at the image on the screen.

"Oh, there she is, my beautiful god-daughter. Hi, Caroline. You're rocking the Christmas look."Caroline kicked excitedly and tried to reach for the laptop. "Oh, she's adorable," Garcia gushed.

"Of course, she is," Morgan said proudly. "She's the daughter of Blondie and Pretty Boy."

They laughed which made Caroline giggle.

"How's your new job?"

"Great," Reid said. "I love it."

"What did Santa bring for you," Emily cooed at Caroline.

"Too much," Reid said. "Between you guys, Sandy and us, her nursery is filled to the brim."

"Yeah, what he means is thank you," JJ teased.

"Oh yeah, I just meant that – "

"It's okay," Rossi said. "We _know_ what you mean."

"Were you able to see your mom, Spence," Hotch asked.

"Yeah, she's doing great."

"How's your mom?" Emily directed to JJ.

"Ask her for yourself."

Sandy entered behind Reid. "Sorr, I'm late. Becky likes to talk."

"It's okay, mom."

"Good to see you, Sandy."

"Thanks. I'm glad to talk to you all. I wanted to thank you for everything you've done for my daughter and her family.

"That's what we do," Garcia said.

"How's the newbie working out?" JJ asked.

"She's good, but she's not you," Morgan answered.

"I'm glad you haven't forgotten us," JJ teased.

"Never," Morgan, Emily, and Garcia chorused.

"Agreed," Rossi said and Hotch nodded his assent.

They continued to talk until Caroline began to fuss while Spencer was doing a magic trick for Jack. "It's time for a diaper change, I think. I'll talk to you all later," Reid said as he carried Caroline from the room.

"He's great with her," Emily observed.

"She refuses to go down for the night if I try to settle her in," JJ complained, but she smiled at the same time. "She has him completely wrapped around her little fingers."

"Aw, that's so cute." Garcia cooed.

"You both look happier than I've seen in a long time," Hotch observed.

"We are, but I'm trying not to think about working full time after the New Year.

"Is Reid still part-time?"

"For now, until we can find a good day time baby sitter."

"Send me the short list and I'll check them out for you," Garcia said.

JJ almost laughed when Hotch gave Garcia a look then he smiled. "I'll pretend I didn't hear you offering Bureau resources for non-FBI business."

"Thank you, sir."

Later, when JJ found Reid in the bedroom stretched out on the bed with the baby monitor on the night table, she smiled and curled up next to him. He shifted and opened his lovely eyes. "Sorry, didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay. I took a long nap as you know. It's nice to lay around all day and enjoy my family."

"I can't believe that Christmas Day is over. I had a wonderful time with you, Caroline, mom and the team."

"Me too. Thank you for making me a happy, Jennifer."

"Right back at you, Spence."

They curled into each other and fell asleep into dreams of the coming years and the happiness they'd have with their small family and a rich circle of friends to support them.

_**THE END**_


End file.
